IntenseDebate - Momthra

7 years ago @ The Toast - An Open Thread, and Se... · 1 reply · +35 points

What a place to bring my whole self. The weird little kid in me sees the weird little kid in you; thank you all.

7 years ago @ The Toast - A note on The Toast · 0 replies · +37 points

I said it on twitter, but I wish I wasn't already voting for her so that this could change my mind.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Open Thread! · 0 replies · +9 points

YES! The word "marriage" is not some magical incantation that once you speak it, you become engaged. You can talk about it!

7 years ago @ The Toast - Open Thread! · 2 replies · +7 points

I think I understand. You think he wants you to be TOTALLY surprised having never even discussed the idea - and you'd like to give him that moment?

I think then you just have to decide how long you're prepared to wait for that to happen.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Open Thread! · 0 replies · +10 points

My partner and I recently decided to get married and it all started when he brought up the idea of moving in together because I don't want to live together as some kind of test to see if we want to be married - it's a step on a trajectory for me. In that conversation, I told him that I want to get married at some point and that by the time he moves in (which will be July), I want us to be prepared to have a real conversation about a plan. Then back in April, I asked him what kind of timeline he had in mind, expecting him to mumble something about not having thought about it. And he said, "maybe December?"

So we talked and talked and I guess got engaged? But in my head, we're not yet because he's buying a ring (from one of my best friends who is a jewelry designer, but she doesn't know that I know so I've only given him general input and am not making detailed decisions) and I told him that while I don't need a "proposal," I do really want a defining moment of some kind. We also haven't told anyone other than our parents because the December plan is basically an elopement - which is a different story.

All that to say, I think you could still say "I'd like to get married to you someday soon" without ruining any surprises.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 0 replies · +7 points

I waited until tonight to read this whole thread so that I wouldn't waste it :(

I also bought a pair of clogs and wore them and loved them. Oh, my toasts!

7 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 5 replies · +111 points

I've been DYING to tell you all this story: The property next to mine has been an awful renovation construction site for more than a year. It seems that the owner keeps hiring rounds of craigslist schmoes who just dick around all day and make things worse. But we're right up against each other and I work from home so I'm witness to almost everything and can hear every conversation. The other day, two guys were cutting up some wood in the driveway (approximately 8 feet from where I sit). I am halfway following their conversation about how the older one met his wife:

"We were on a cruise to Mexico and I met her the first night, we just talked a lot and kissed but we didn't really hook up... and then when we got to Mexico... I was at the whorehouse... fucking this hooker..."

So I walked over to the window and - from my living room - asked "hey guys, is this a conversation you could have somewhere else?"

They were very obviously embarrassed and I felt very good about myself. AND THEN, that evening they came to my door together with literal hats in hand to apologize. I thanked them for apologizing and couldn't help but feel some pleasure that they might carry this shame forever.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 0 replies · +2 points

Nope! I'm the type of person who is likely deemed attractive in my area but I wrote a profile that was very much in my voice and I think that it served as a pretty effective filter. Occasionally I'd get messages from dudes who only looked at pictures but I think that the randos who even skimmed my profile generally took a hard left turn and left me alone.

So if you want more responses, maybe consider a softer profile? Or you can decide that this is a good thing and figure that having them opt out is a good thing in the end.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 0 replies · +9 points

Sounds to me like two can play this game! "Well, *actually* it's like this for a different reason - if you've got a second, I can explain it to you."

8 years ago @ The Toast - Friday Open Thread! · 0 replies · +1 points

There's also a rule about having to pay a penalty percentage (maybe even double?) for any amount improperly withheld after the amount of time allowed. I had a hard time with an old roommate (who owned the house) until I put in my email "as I'm sure you're aware [you're going to owe me big $$$]" and got a check within a few days.

IntenseDebate Comment System

Connect with Momthra

People I'm following

Momthra