16 comments posted · 1 followers · following 0

11 years ago @ Wonkette - World's Best Mom Brist... · 3 replies · +38 points

Yes, you are "doing a terrible job disciplining Tripp," Bristol. But don't worry! He's got a bright future ahead of him as a French fry technician/social media consultant at Chik-fil-A.

12 years ago @ Wonkette - Here Is a Political Bl... · 0 replies · +19 points

As I read this post, I'm eating a turkey sando (off the counter) for lunch. Uh oh...

12 years ago @ Wonkette - Rick Santorum Praying ... · 0 replies · +9 points

Santorum: Soooooo GGG!

12 years ago @ Wonkette - Man Writes Spectacular... · 0 replies · +18 points

And by "status quo" he means lions. Deadly, sexy lions. Rawrrr!

12 years ago @ College Candy - The Do's and Don'ts of... · 13 replies · +56 points

Let me get this straight: "Want to ditch the tight, pinching, underwire contraption that’s ruled your life ever since puberty" is the lede for the piece. One translation of that is: Do you ever feel like being comfortable for a day and/or wearing clothes (i.e. maxi-dresses) that look better sans bra?

And the rest of the article is a list of "rules" that [sic.] teach women to be ashamed of their bodies. For example:

Rules 1 & 2: nipples are the devil's playthings. You have them, but you should feel bad for having them. And heaven forbid you let anyone else know you have them. Harlot!

Rule 5: Dropped your newspaper? Go ahead and litter. Screw the environment? Screw everybody. Well not everybody, because you shouldn't bend over. Why? Because "some girl your age mumbling "oh my god, wear a bra" under her breath) will notice." That's right. Other girls will know you're not wearing a bra. And that's bad. Unless those girls read this post; then they should feel free to go braless too. But other girls will... Wait, what's the lesson here?

Rule 7: Ignore your own breasts. You pervert! Stop looking at your breasts. They're for other people to look at. Unless you're not wearing a bra, in which case they're gonna look at your breasts because you're probably a hussy. "The more attention you bring to your 'situation.'" Your situation? As if, by divine intervention you just "found yourself" without a bra in the middle of your workday. And let's not even go down the negative connotation highway... "your situation" is the same kind of [sic.] polite aphorism historically used to describe unwed pregnant women. Proper society can see that your immodest boobs are all primed to breastfeed that bastard child you're growing in your tummy.

Rule 9: Cover up already. Sure, the idea of going braless is cool, but within an hour or two that rush of freedom will wear off and you'll want to hide your shame from the world. Be prepared to have your look "fail miserably" and other "fashion emergencies." While you're at it, carry a snowmobile suit and a hydraulic jack with you at all times; you never know when a blizzard might strike or an 18 wheeler will turn over in your path.

What a great, progressive idea for a blog: be comfortable--in your clothes and in your skin. And what a sad, archaic, repressive, punitive approach to the topic in what follows: "advice" that more or less reinforces sexual stereotypes, the objectification of women's bodies, and outmoded social norms that are anything but normal.

12 years ago @ Wonkette - UPDATE: South Carolina... · 0 replies · +1 points

@bureaucrap Brilliant analysis, my friend. Brilliant.

12 years ago @ Wonkette - UPDATE: South Carolina... · 1 reply · +2 points

Oh Bawlz! Respectfully, Wonkette and Chuck H. have the story wrong--or at least the timeline. Chief Franco "Nutzy" Fuda was arrested in July of 2010, NOT after the ballsy bust. Check the Post and Courier link above. July 23, 2010. Nuts!

13 years ago @ Wonkette - America, 2011: 'Women ... · 0 replies · +4 points

The Pulitzer is probably going to Kirk Herbstreit from ESPN's College GameDay. Thumbs up at (0:26). Sorry Boba.

13 years ago @ Wonkette - Giffords Doesn't Show ... · 0 replies · +13 points

Good news, New Mexico! I've been lookin' into this here gun marriage thing and it seems as though some of the most respected philosophers on the subject have a saying about "Why Guns are Better'n Womans." According to the Sacred Texts, "If you admire a friend's handgun and have the cojones to tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times." Jackpot, New Mexico! Jackpot!

13 years ago @ Wonkette - Pickup Truck Warns of ... · 0 replies · +4 points

@PubOption - That's like mixing Pineapples and Oranges.  Hahaha.