gdp's Comments

O Hell Nawl - A wretched hive of scum and villainy : Sports and Ish with Lurk

Sat, 23 Nov 2013 12:15:26 +0000

I never cared for the way everyone rushed to anoint him as something when he hasn't done anything just yet. Remember when a quarterback had to sit, hold a clipboard, learn from the sidelines, and THEN play with the big kids? A lot of otherwise smart people ran RGIII's name up the flagpole simply because he was a rookie that didn't look like he was playing in pants-shytting terror all of the time (which is what most rookie QBs look like). The problem with looking reasonably competent as a rookie is that people now expect one to magically leap from the middle of the pack to Peyton Manning...without considering the fact that there aren't ten good quarterbacks in football right now/ Think about it: after the usual suspects - Peyton, Brady, Brees, Rodgers (even injured) - who else rounds out the top 10? Probably Russell Wilson...Andrew Luck...Matthew Stafford (we're already getting on shaky ground with Stafford, cuz he ain't that good)...and whoever else you can find for the last three spots. I'd like to see the guy get as far as The San-Chize has gotten (two AFC Championship Games) before raising his profile too much...

O Hell Nawl - A wretched hive of scum and villainy : Sports and Ish with Lurk

Sat, 23 Nov 2013 11:28:26 +0000

Look at the rest of that conference. After Seattle and New Orleans, who else should we be worried about? At this point, every team that will fill out seeds 3 through 6 will have some serious baggage. Think about it. Someone's road to the NFC Championship game could possibly include Arizona and Detroit. Does that really scare anyone? Carolina has beaten a lot of bad teams, but now they've beaten a couple of teams with a pulse. Given the overall lack of depth in the NFC, I don't have any problem putting them third until I see something to convince me otherwise.

O Hell Nawl - A wretched hive of scum and villainy : Can someone explain this beef Kendrick Lamar's people have with GQ for me?

Tue, 19 Nov 2013 04:23:04 +0000

Kendrick Lamar's "Control" verse is easily in my top 10 Illest Rhymes Of All Time, and I'll tell you why: he straight up bodied Big Sean AND Jay Electronica in the same fuggin' track WITH dem n!ggas on it (!!) and the verse was So. Cold. it HAD to be left in. HAD to be. Picture Shady gettin' dropped like that by a guest vocal on his track. Figure Common for some ol' boolshyt like that. Try Hova. Meth'. Andre 3000. Sheee-yit. Not finna happen, right? Bytch-slappin' a n!gga on his own track might be the sickest verse ever dropped since, what, "Fugg tha po-lice comin' straight from the underground?" "A child is born with no state of mind?" "Shut up, bytch! I'm tryna talk! Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screaming in the trunk?" "Cash rules everything around me?" "I got 5 mill, I ain't rhymed like Common since?" "Motherfugg him AND John Wayne?" DAYum. It's been a minute and I'm STILL trippin' off the bawlz Kendrick Lamar showed on that verse.

O Hell Nawl - A wretched hive of scum and villainy : Open Thread - your best crazy boyfriend/girlfriend story

Sat, 16 Nov 2013 03:02:19 +0000

Back in my dack-slangin' prime, I ran up in this roiling cauldron of bugshyt crazy (but with an azz that was built by Swiss watchmakers...lawd Jeebus). Apparently, the first time I hit it, I knocked the linin' out AND hit the "I LUH This N!gga Right Here" button at the same time, because I could do NO wrong. She worked at a skrip club (blame a n!gga if ya want to) and used to bring me her gat dam tips err' night like I was somebody's pimp...closest I ever came to shakin' the Red Card, ya heard? Anyway, I remembered what my pops told me about tryna turn heaux into housewives and I had my exit strategy in place: back to university (read: rapid and exponential expansion of azz-gettin' opportunities) and long-term relationships with bug-eatin' crazy bytches did NOT fit in the overhead bins...so I just bounced. Three. Months. Later. Its right around Halloween, and I'm coming back to my spot when WHO THA FUGG IS THAT PARKED OUTSIDE MY HOUSE? Bytch found me. She was mad (a bit...jeezus), talmbout killin' folks and burnin shyt down and shyt...'til I took her inside and gentled her down with the magic dack. When she left the next morning (after the wake-up hummer AND leaving me a stack of cash "to get by on"), I was like, "I'm here to study, and you need to work, so gone back home and I'll hit you up when the semester's over." I have it on the best authority that it took her three years to figure out that the semester was over, AND that she came looking for me AGAIN...but I was already in the wind. And that was 17 years ago. (::cue somebody knocking on my door here in Korea in 5...4...3...2...::)

O Hell Nawl - A wretched hive of scum and villainy : Sports and ish with Lurk

Sat, 9 Nov 2013 16:38:56 +0000

Oh, god...be afraid. Be very, very afraid. Either Bill Simmons reads this column or he's just dam lucky because he and I have eight of the same winners for this week. I only mention that because Bill Simmons, whom I respect and admire as a sportswriter and Boston sports fan, welp, he sucks as a prognosticator. And if I share eight out of thirteen picks with him? Be afraid. Be very, very afraid....

O Hell Nawl - A wretched hive of scum and villainy : Germans make a better hip-hop track than half the fools today. With a table n bottles ass bottles

Thu, 7 Nov 2013 12:56:09 +0000

Bitte bitte bitte Dam, they can spit-uh Balloons in they kit-uh They don't give a shyt-uh Bitte bitte Bitte Dam they can spit-uh I gots to admit-uh it's a bomb-azz hit-uh

O Hell Nawl - A wretched hive of scum and villainy : I guess the lesson is: Don't want to get hit like a man, don't hit a man?

Mon, 4 Nov 2013 16:13:01 +0000

This is what some wimmen-folk (and a whole lotta other folk) fail to understand: The only thing between you and that man you failed to knock the shyt out of is air and opportunity. Anyone counting on something other than a retaliatory strike has chosen the Worst. Possible. Moment. to ignore 99.9% of all of human existence. This ig'nant bytch went at that man with all of the power of "being right" on her side. When he got back at her, he didn't have neither right nor wrong on his side. What he did have, however, was a significant size and reach advantage, something Joan of ::URK:: failed to consider when she HAM on him. In other words, ladies, when and if you finna raise ya hands to a man? Make certain you have him faded in the important categories...like size, for example... ...or at least keep a roll of nickels in ya purse, just to even the odds a l'il bit...

O Hell Nawl - A wretched hive of scum and villainy : Sports and Ish with Lurk

Fri, 1 Nov 2013 11:19:20 +0000

Remember what Drew Brees was like in San Diego? He was Ordinary. Shucks, he was Alex Smith. In fact, people forget he was ALMOST a Miami Dolphin before he signed with the Saints...there was not a lot of love for him on the open market back in the day. This many record-setting seasons later, with a couple of bold, black numbers next to his name and a Super Bowl ring on his hand, Drew Brees will get his Hall of Fame bust with a Saints jersey on. The question is...where would Romo fit best? I think he'd thrive in the following, needing-a-QB situations immediately: Tennessee, Cleveland, and...wait for it...Chicago. (I gotta be honest: we've seen whatever we're going to see from Jay Cutler, and nothing about him says "The Promised Land." Romo can't possibly make worse mistakes than Cutler does, his arm is arguably as strong as Cutler's, and I think he burns to win more than Cutler does.)

O Hell Nawl - A wretched hive of scum and villainy : Sports and Ish with Lurk

Fri, 1 Nov 2013 01:03:47 +0000

I have to teach a class on Tuesday mornings over here. Because of the time difference, this game will be on during my class. It sez so RIGHT HERE that my students are getting a nice, long handout to do, and that they can leave as soon as it's done. I ain't teachin' shyt. I ain't gradin' shyt. I ain't assessin' shyt. I ain't doin' anything that would make me miss a second of this game.

O Hell Nawl - A wretched hive of scum and villainy : Because Liberals are sick of your shit. The backlash on William Filene,Caitlin and Greg Cimeno.

Tue, 29 Oct 2013 15:47:31 +0000

People always get free speech wrong. The point of the First Amendment is that a person can speak freely without fear of government prosecution. I am free to say that I think (elected official) is ruining the country and there will not be a police escort waiting to take me to the Graybar Hotel. I am free to say that After Earth was a steaming, stinking pile of manure AND that Will Smiff owes me money AND the time I wasted, and it won't generate a red ball from the pre-cog division. However, as has been pointed out in these pages, freedom of speech does not mean freedom from the consequences of that speech. These three individuals were within their First Amendment rights to do something unconscionable. The people they freely shared this picture with (that'd be, what, ALL of us? remember, you sign away any real right to privacy when you join Facebook) were equally free to share their disgust at this unconscionable act. The company this woman used to work for was free to disassociate themselves from her, because they rightly believed that a lot of customer-type people would disassociate their coin of the realm from that business upon discovering someone so blatantly disrespectful and offensive worked there. Some folk sleep better knowing that their hard-earned dollars aren't directly supporting offenses to decency. ...oh, and as far as things going "too far?" That'd be some folks finding out the hard way that being offended doesn't have a statute of limitations.

O Hell Nawl - A wretched hive of scum and villainy : Dear OHN: Why are you waging a war against Christianity

Fri, 25 Oct 2013 03:10:32 +0000

Dear Open Letter Writer, Jesus reduced the entire Old Testament law to two fundamental principles: love the Lord God, and love your neighbor as you love yourself (Mark 12:30-31). He also said that no commandments were greater than these. Since it was Jesus who said that, and since we claim He is God, that should put paid to any further elevation of any other commandments about meat and marriage. The commandment that you seem to be struggling with is the part where you are to love your neighbor as you love yourself. I will not presume to speak for you, but for myself. I am a sinner in dire need of Jesus' grace every day. Please note that I said sinner. While some people are more than happy to insert terms like homosexual, athiest, or Tea Party (::YEAH, I SAID IT::) into the place where sinner goes, the fact is that words like doctor, parent, fisherman, deacon, and missionary-suffering-for-Christ-amongst-them-godless-cannibals belongs there as well. Remember, unless you have the Thomas Jefferson edition of the New Testament, your bible says the same thing that mine does: that all of us are sinners. ALL of us. That'd be me. But I don't hate myself, even though I am just as black-hearted a sinner as ever a garbageman that picked up the garbage. No, I excuse myself. I can't hate sin the way that God does, because I ain't perfect. I might even be able to hate some particular sin that I commit over and over, but do I hate ALL of my sin? Shucks, am I even AWARE of all of my sin? How dare I then hate a man for having sex with a man, when I have had sex with women that I wasn't married to? How dare I then hate an atheist for being honest about not serving God when I ain't serving God any better than that atheist? How dare I hate sinner when I am a sinner as well? I think you need to remember that the church should be the place where sinners can go for grace, rather than the place that won't let them in (or, worse, kicks them out) for being sinners in need of grace. Imagine a hospital turning away sick folk because they were sick...that's a church turning sinners away for being sinners. Besides, seems to me the church has been "under attack" for the last 2000 or so years...I think it can take the occasional aintshyt editorial from this site. With hope, That Dam Lurkasaurus Rex

O Hell Nawl - A wretched hive of scum and villainy : 'This Baby' is why OHNawlians need their asses whooped daily.

Wed, 23 Oct 2013 14:51:28 +0000

This baby just saw a black member of the Tea Party. This baby heard Ma$e was thinkin' about a "comeback." This baby needs you to shut what they call "the fugg up." This baby lookin' at the fuggin' hot cakes, bytch, tha fugg you mean you cain't sell 'em? IT'S TEN THIRTY FIVE!! Let a n!gga be great! This baby said "I didn't stutter and ya fuggin' ears didn't flap. Two dollars on pump five." This baby seent Coolio's haircut. This baby wanna tell Ray J that it ain't who hit it first, it's who's hittin' it now. This baby guest-starred on a very special "Good Times." This baby just seent a picture of Ted Cruz.

O Hell Nawl - A wretched hive of scum and villainy : Why no one trusts Fathers to be alone with the kids. these are the reasons why.

Tue, 22 Oct 2013 02:42:21 +0000

Far as I'm concerned? My kids are too small to tell it and my wife wasn't there to see it and no permanent marks were left...so, uh, nothing happened. Nothing. ::halo::

OHN-NSFW : Deal with it Bro.

Sat, 12 Oct 2013 14:32:14 +0000

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1i-L3YTeJJM

OHN-NSFW : I got questions.

Sat, 12 Oct 2013 14:28:59 +0000

I keep thinking Quato is finna pop out any minute...

OHN-NSFW : What in the Jaba the Hut HELL

Sat, 12 Oct 2013 14:25:47 +0000

deep, cleansing breaths deeeeeep, cleansing breaths (first thing to do when I get back to Facebook - cuss Tracy all the way the fugg out!)

O Hell Nawl - A wretched hive of scum and villainy : Sports and Ish with Lurk

Sat, 12 Oct 2013 02:20:04 +0000

Remember my pick in the Panthers/Vikings game? Change it. Minnesota RB Adrian Peterson's son was beaten to death by the mother's boyfriend (...), BUT he will still play on Sunday. I don't care how wretched Minnesota's team is. I don't care if Josh Freeman couldn't hit sand if he fell off of a camel. Mark it down: everyone in purple will have all oars in the water and pulling hard in the same direction to get the W for All Day. There is No. Way. Minnesota loses this game now. No. Way. Football can be an emotional sport and this? Dude just lost his baby? That is about as emotional as it gets. Take the Vikings.

O Hell Nawl - A wretched hive of scum and villainy : Sports and Ish with Lurk

Thu, 10 Oct 2013 23:59:00 +0000

If Schaub does something like that this weekend, he'll have to enter the witness protection program. In fact, if there were such a thing as a QB depth chart for the state of Texas, it'd look like this: 1. Johnny Football 2. Jerrod Heard (y'all gon' hear about him soon enough...watch) 3. Tony Romo 4. Foster Sawyer 5. Matt Schaub For those unaware, I deliberately put two high school QBs above Schaub...mostly because they take their football kinda serious in Texas, and they take their quarterbacking like the pope takes the wafer - never lightly.

O Hell Nawl - A wretched hive of scum and villainy : Sports and Ish with Lurk

Thu, 10 Oct 2013 23:51:46 +0000

Gotsta go with Toody on this one. Though it might not be all his fault (letting Anquan Boldin bounce was a HUUUUGE mistake), Flacco is looking a LOT like a bad investment now that the playoffs are a recent memory.

O Hell Nawl - A wretched hive of scum and villainy : Sports and Ish with Lurk

Thu, 10 Oct 2013 16:21:35 +0000

I can admit that your "Bear down" comment made me laugh, even though I was bitter about my Bears failing to address that whole Brees-to-Graham facet of New Orleans' offense...I mean, they do have cable in Chicago, right? E'en BEARS players made sure their first fantasy TE was Jimmy Graham...(let me stop before I get mad all over again) And as far as them Racists go, welp, I'll echo comments I heard and read elsewhere: how would we like it if there was a team called the Columbus Coons, or the Detroit Darkies, or the Nashville N!ggers? It is amazing to me that the best arguments in favor of the Washington NFL franchise maintaining its racist nickname is that the name is traditional and that there are Native Americans that ain't mad about it...BOTH OF WHICH MISS THE GAT DAM POINT!! I just deleted a long, and facts-and-examples-filled rant on the subject that I'll sum up like this: all traditions ain't good ones (KKK, anyone?) and native Americans have "apples" just like black Americans have "Oreos" (y'all cain't hear me though!).