gdp's Comments

Wonkette : Oh Hey We Hired A Person Again

Wed, 9 Jul 2014 18:26:34 +0000

Congratulations, Pix!

Wonkette : Girls! Read Sydney Leathers's Eight Feminist Tricks For Getting Sleazy Pols To Virtually Finger-Bang

Tue, 6 Aug 2013 16:58:47 +0000

"Wait maybe two days before responding. Don’t respond to anything immediately, ever. Even if you get it immediately, don’t respond." So, basically, her tips are to read "The Game," and become a sexting pick-up artist, but on narcissistic male politicians. WAY TO SUBVERT THE PATRIARCHY, YOU VISIONARY! Women everywhere are truly liberated, now.

Wonkette : Louie Gohmert Says Thing

Thu, 25 Jul 2013 14:38:17 +0000

Whoever dosed Gohmert's coffee with LSD didn't use a strong enough dose. He thinks he's making perfect sense, but he's not having the "naked before the face of God" hallucinogenic meltdown we were hoping for. Reptiloids must be LSD resistant. Quadruple the dose next time.

Wonkette : Barry Obama Will Now Grow The Economy With This One Weird Trick

Wed, 24 Jul 2013 17:46:23 +0000

Our Wonkette will always be your Benincasa away from casa! ... Aw come on, don't leave again. I'll stop, superswear.

Wonkette : GOP: 'I Broke It, I Won't Fix It, But I Will Complain About It Being Broken To Get Re-Elected To Bre

Tue, 23 Jul 2013 16:59:15 +0000

Please send me all of the Socialism Ameros that you have not yet given to Our Wonkette, as I expect the "Lowkey Called Eric Cantor A Poop-Gargling Cockweasel And Then Hit Him With A Pie Legal Defense Fund" is going to be under serious financial strain this August.

Wonkette : On Royal Baby, Tina Brown Takes One Small Step Back For Women, One Giant Leap Back For Womankind

Tue, 23 Jul 2013 15:35:09 +0000

I'm just here to see the royals having people beheaded for overt backhanded compliments at court.

Wonkette : To Ease Racial Tensions, Help Buy George Zimmerman Another Gun!

Tue, 23 Jul 2013 13:55:12 +0000

WE ARE SINCERELY CONCERNED ABOUT ZIMMERMAN'S PROPERTY AND RIGHTS. THIS IS CERTAINLY NOT A CRASS ATTEMPT TO DRUM UP PUBLIC AWARENESS OF OUR OBSCURE BRAND, WHICH IS DEFINITELY NOT LOST IN THE GROWING CROWD OF HYPERVENTILATING GUN CLUBS. WHAT? THERE'S ANOTHER DONATION BUTTON, FOR OUR GENERAL FUND, RIGHT NEXT TO THE DONATION BUTTON FOR ZIMMERMAN'S GUN FUND? ARE YOU SURE, BECAUSE THAT DOESN'T SOUND AT ALL FAMILIAR TO US.

Wonkette : Deleted Comments Of The Day: Why U So Gay-Murdery, Wonkette Nazi Hoors?

Thu, 18 Jul 2013 19:29:50 +0000

The Editrix's Twitter trolls are LE SNORE as well. Just yesterday, some lady suffering from Advanced Synesthesia Comoedia (a terrible condition where your sense of humor misfires, and instead of perceiving something funny, you perceive the smell of egg farts) was berating Our Ferocious Advocate for Ladyparts and the Ladies What Own Them. Apparently, 'Trix ain't allowed to call people "pussies."

Wonkette : A Frothy Mix Of Questions, Answers, From Dan Savage Straight To You

Fri, 28 Jun 2013 18:07:25 +0000

ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

Wonkette : A Frothy Mix Of Questions, Answers, From Dan Savage Straight To You

Fri, 28 Jun 2013 17:52:34 +0000

I have a gift for overthinking things. And, THANK YOU FOR ANSWERING MY QUESTION, DAN! Now I just have to work up the spine to be able to say, "Oh yeah, I haven't had sex in forever, I'm still cool, though."

Wonkette : A Frothy Mix Of Questions, Answers, From Dan Savage Straight To You

Fri, 28 Jun 2013 17:40:57 +0000

Yes, ACTOR, my junk still works, I said I was NEUROTIC about my next time, GAWD. This is a mental thing, not a physical thing, now BUTT OUT AND LET MY INTERNET HERO FIX ME, please and thank you. <3

Wonkette : A Frothy Mix Of Questions, Answers, From Dan Savage Straight To You

Fri, 28 Jun 2013 17:37:15 +0000

Totally! Our Ultimate News Crush, the kindly Dr. Maddow, reads us, like, constantly. She comments on burner accounts so she doesn't get in trouble with MSNBC Editorial, I'm just SURE OF IT.

Wonkette : A Frothy Mix Of Questions, Answers, From Dan Savage Straight To You

Fri, 28 Jun 2013 17:32:48 +0000

Also, of course, you're hilarious and fantastic, and thank you for coming to our monkey cage today.

Wonkette : A Frothy Mix Of Questions, Answers, From Dan Savage Straight To You

Fri, 28 Jun 2013 17:31:18 +0000

LOL, I harrumphed at that, myself. Our Beloved Editrix overgeneralizes us so. LE SIGH.

Wonkette : A Frothy Mix Of Questions, Answers, From Dan Savage Straight To You

Fri, 28 Jun 2013 17:28:55 +0000

@Dan Savage: Okay, so, a while ago, I missed a chance with a woman I was crazy about because I was in a convenient relationship with a woman I just liked. I decided that I was going to grow up a bit, and wait for Mrs. Wow. Now it's been over 2 years, and I'm starting to get a little neurotic about the state of my sexual abilities. Do you think I should find someone to knock the dust off with (I'm not a prude, but honestly, meh), or should I have some faith that Mrs. Wow won't bolt if I need a couple of times to find my groove again?

Wonkette : Upstate NY Duo Wanted To Do Reverse Terrorism On Muslims With Home-Made Death Ray

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 17:45:45 +0000

You monster. What if some German kid reads that?! You realize that you're no different than ~~some asshole who passes out drunk in a pile of his loaded guns and unsupervised kids~~ the average NRA member.

Wonkette : Upstate NY Duo Wanted To Do Reverse Terrorism On Muslims With Home-Made Death Ray

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 17:41:21 +0000

See, THIS is exactly what happens when you slash the Mad Science budgets in our schools.

Wonkette : Upstate NY Duo Wanted To Do Reverse Terrorism On Muslims With Home-Made Death Ray

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 17:39:18 +0000

And with conservative nutbars attempting to win the Death Ray Race, they'd better deliver that Weather Dominator on deadline. We can't afford a Hilarious Doomsday Weapons Gap.

Wonkette : The Wonked-Out Brains Of Santa Fe

Sun, 9 Jun 2013 16:31:44 +0000

SO BITTER. So very, very bitter. I am going to pout at the unfairness of my inconveniently timed arrival in Santa Fe, which is next Wednesday night. HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I'M FUCKING BITTER, BECAUSE I AM. QUITE BITTER INDEED.

Wonkette : A Gentle Reminder To Get Your Ass To Santa Fe Tonight, And Also Scottsdale Party Pix Of Girls Girls

Fri, 7 Jun 2013 18:24:46 +0000

I hear ya, Shy. I have already bitched to The Editrix on the Twitters about the fact that I will be arriving in Santa Fe on business in exactly six days. SO FUCKING BITTER. They all get to drink Wonkette's beer and tell jokes to each other IRL, and I get to ragecry into my alonetime scotch.