en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/2398467 Comments by KittensOnACloud http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/21/if-prison-has-taken-anything-away-from-me/#IDComment145261359 This letter makes me really sad. A lot of the letters we’ve been reading so far from the prisoners have been positive or uplifting. Even though the people are in prison, their letters are hopeful or insightful about faith, love, or coping with mistakes. This letter gives a more sobering and depressing idea of what it’s like to be locked up, this letter fits more with what my preconceived notions about being in prison would be like. Before we started reading letters from the inmates, I figured life in prison was one of depression and constant sadness. This letter seems to affirm this idea. This inmate seems particularly sad about how small his cell is. I cannot even imagine what it would be like to live in such a small space. Sometimes I look around my dorm room and feel like it’s a prison cell. But this letter makes me realize how wrong I totally am. At least in a dorm room I have my computer and a television and the freedom to come and go as I please. I feel very sad for this man as he reflects on what his “life has been reduced to.” And not being able to handle silence? That must be like torture. When you realize that noise must be made for the sake of making noise, it is truly sobering. It’s only then that you realize how alone and silent the world really is. The final part of this letter where the inmate talks about not being able to love a woman ever again almost made me cry. Some people go through life and simply chose not to love anyone, or to spend their life alone. But this man doesn’t have that choice. His choice has been made for him. I know that on the toughest days, it’s the love of my family and friends and significant others that gets me through, and I can’t even being to fathom what it would be like if I couldn’t have that support. I hope someday that this man can come to the positive attitude that I sense from other inmate letters, but until then, it seems like prison for this man doesn’t just mean physically locked up, but also mentally locked up and away from love and free choice. Sat, 23 Apr 2011 01:17:45 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/21/if-prison-has-taken-anything-away-from-me/#IDComment145261359 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/11/lifer/#IDComment143171068 This letter is very insightful. People, it seems, hardly every actually think about what they are saying or the labels they assign to something. Like something annoying or funny might happens and someone might say, “That was so gay.” Not thinking there could be a gay person nearby that might have found that offensive. I feel like there are a lot of words like that, words that might offend someone, but people do not even think twice before they say them. Like for instance the words retarted, homo, prick, and other offensive slang type words would be very hurtful to some people I know, and I would feel bad if I had to watch someone calling my friend by these words, or even saying them in the presence of my friend. The author of this letter also points out an interesting fact about what it means to label someone. Sometimes, I feel like we label people and put them into categories without even meaning to. I don’t just mean the grandiose categories like by race or hair color or language spoken; I mean the little categories such as boy, girl, rich, and poor. These words put limits on us every day that we don’t even notice. For instance, I am a girl, and I have been “labeled” as one my whole life. I’m sure this affects me every day in some manner I can’t even conceive, however, I know that because I’m a “girl” I will never have to register for selective service, or shave my beard, or play in the NFL. But what if I wanted to? The parameters of being a “girl” are clearly defined in most places, so the self-fulfilling prophecy always comes true. I can’t play in the NFL because I’m not good enough. But I can tell myself that of course they’re not letting me play because I’m a girl. Thus the prophecy has come to pass. These labels with confining meanings can be dangerous. The author of the letter wonders what happens when we label someone as a prisoner. The textbook prisoner is scary and cold and frightening even. But what if that’s not how real prisoners feel? Most people don’t get a chance to hear the inmates side of the story. This letter is so interesting because it makes me wonder how labels affect the factors and forces outside our control. I’m a girl, so I understand how to act and behave, but people who are incorrectly labeled have a life of trouble in front of them, trying to correct an image. Labels have a funny way of sticking. Fri, 15 Apr 2011 17:44:30 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/11/lifer/#IDComment143171068 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/03/what-a-man-is/#IDComment141043210 Yes. Yes this man is exactly, completely, one hundred percent, entirely correct. This is exactly the kind of man every woman wants. This letter is like someone took all the things I have dreamed about finding in a partner and put them into words. But this letter makes me sad because that’s all it is: silly words and even sillier dreams. There was a time when I was young and I believed that someday I would find a man just like this. A time when I believed in the good of the world and that everybody was looking for true love and would journey to the ends of the Earth to find it. But then I woke up and grew up to the reality that is “love” and “dating” and “relationships” of today. Especially now that I am in college, I find more “men” who only want sex and have no interest in women as people or emotional and intelligent beings. There have been many guys who I have met and given chances to over and over again to only find myself feeling stupid and insignificant when they show their true colors. It seems like men are always asking “what women want.” I feel like to answer this question all they would have to do would be to read this letter. Women just want to be loved, and is that so much to ask when we are so willing to love honestly in return? My favorite part of this letter is the very first line about how a man has respect for women. Recalling that video we watched in class about music videos and the effect that having a “male centered” society has on women; I don’t think many men truly respect women these day. The author of this letter is correct movies, television, and media (such as music videos) give that false impression that women want only to serve men and to have sex with them. It makes me sad that this man had to come to jail to figure out all these very important things. The end of his letter almost sounds like he is apologizing for every rude man in the world. But that is not his job. Mutual respect and love should not be something foreign, but should be felt between men and women on a daily basis. Fri, 8 Apr 2011 17:14:32 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/03/what-a-man-is/#IDComment141043210 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/27/family/#IDComment139267280 (3 of 3) You know who your real friends are in times of trouble or sadness and I think it’s safe to say that this man has many friends, both inside and outside the prison where he lives. The final thing I liked about this letter was to learn how much support there is for the younger inmates in prison. Maybe someday those younger guys will get out and they will remember the wise lessons taught by the older men and they will be able make a bigger difference in the world because of them. Sat, 2 Apr 2011 02:23:06 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/27/family/#IDComment139267280 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/27/family/#IDComment139267244 (2 of 3) I find this heartening because I agree that when you go to a new place or are in a new situation, having someone show kindness is such a huge relief and kind people can be adopted into a new sort of family. I am also happy to hear how many people this man still keeps in contact with. I feel bad because there are people I should write letters to, but I can just never seem to find the time. Like the elderly lady from West Virginia whose house I helped fix up. She writes me letters frequently asking how I am and what I’ve been up to, but every time I think of writing her back, something “more important” comes up like going out to dinner with friends or wasting time on the internet. So it is impressive to me that so many people still keep in touch with this man. Sat, 2 Apr 2011 02:22:51 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/27/family/#IDComment139267244 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/27/family/#IDComment139267090 (1 of 3) I found this letter from a “lifer” very insightful. I like how he talks about the fact that prison is different from how it is shown on television on in movies. Sometimes I watch a stereotypical movie about how all men in prison are big, scary, cold-hearted murderers and I just accept it at face value that all prisons are like that and all prisoners must be like that. However, this letter and the discussions we have been having in class have been showing me that I need to do some more research about such things and make up my own mind about people and their situations instead of accepting what the media or secondhand stories might tell me. I completely agree with this man that people need to experience things first hand to really understand them. I believe that knowledge is the greatest power. I learned from this letter how much support there is between the inmates in prison. Sat, 2 Apr 2011 02:22:26 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/27/family/#IDComment139267090 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/23/fear-2/#IDComment137579966 This letter is startling. The way this man describes his physical, mental, and sexual abuse is eye opening. I can think of many kids at my school that did not have proper fitting clothes or had long hair and seemed shy and scared. I am appalled to think that everyone he told were so quick to believe his parents and that no one took him seriously. I know that in schools today, if any child tells a teacher of being abused or of problems at home, many states and schools have laws that the teacher MUST take the child seriously and look into the problem or refer the child to someone better able to help. I wonder if these rules would have saved this man. If anyone would have listened at an early age, I feel like things could have gone differently. I personally believe that early intervention is the key to helping kids stay on the right track. The fear that this man lived in is unimaginable. I feel like there are things I fear every day. Things like will I be able to live the life I want? Will my family be alive and healthy for a long time? Can I study enough to pass this test? War. Economy. Will my father be able to find another job? But my fears, they are merely passing worries when compared to the daily terror and fear that this man has lived through. My family has always been there for me whenever I need them and I cannot even imagine a situation like this. I believe that families provide a strong base to build one’s life around, but when one’s own family cannot even be counted upon for, well anything in this case, and life has no base to be set up on, things just seem to fall apart. To have to think every day if it would be your last or about the abuse, neglect, and unjustness you would suffer in your own home, is just terrible. I don’t think what happened to this man is fair. It is not fair the house he was forced to grow up in, or the life he was made to survive through, or the fact that no proof for his story exists and he is therefore made to pled guilty. However, the fact that this man has chosen to rise above and live for God gives me hope that even in the worst situations, one has the freedom to determine their own mindset, and this man has chosen faith and survival. Fri, 25 Mar 2011 22:04:54 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/23/fear-2/#IDComment137579966 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/09/what-would-make-this-guy-less-white/#IDComment134968943 The first thing that makes this guy the quintessential “white guy” is that he is in fact white. You can tell from his skin color that he does not have hiding Italian, Mexican, or African genes. He is not very tan, nor does he have overly dark hair or eyebrows. He is literally a white guy. The next thing that gives him the white guy stereotype is the fact that he is passionate about guns, more importantly the treatment and care of his guys. I’m from a very small, back country Pennsylvania town where every guy I know seems to fit the “white guy” stereotype. There it is almost as if white guy and redneck go hand in hand. They are all very concerned with guns, ammo, and hunting. Now obviously this video isn’t about concealing a shotgun, but like the other redneck/white guys I know this man is very concerned about having his gun at the ready and having it with him at all times. Another thing that makes this guy very white is the clothes he is wearing. They are very plain; his white shirt is tucked into his blue jeans. To me, this is a very down home, very American style. I don’t know many black or Mexican men who tuck white cotton polo shirts into light blue jeans. One other white guy trait is that he talks very clearly and slowly enough that everyone should be able to understand him. If he had an accent no matter how many other “white” things he did, this man could never be given the “white guy” stereotype. Because this man speaks clear and proper English, people would already assume he is white even without seeing him. A final thing that makes this man the typical “white guy” is that he’s sort of awkward. When he talks about unbuttoning his pants he sort of pauses and doesn’t know what to say. I cringed a little bit when he talked about looking at other people’s crotches. I feel like people from other races are smoother when they talk about awkward things. This man comes across as sort of nerdy and uneasy when he talks about intimate things. I think nerdy awkwardness and redneck tendencies are what most people think of when they picture the ideal white guy. Tue, 15 Mar 2011 01:31:44 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/09/what-would-make-this-guy-less-white/#IDComment134968943 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/21/stranger-kidnapping/#IDComment130647535 Watching this video about a stranger trying to kidnap a random kid on the street, I am not that shocked. I feel like the news shows videos about things like this all the time. Every time I turn on the television, I am bombarded with stories about all the kids that are taken, all the young girls that are raped, all the random drive by shootings that leave families shocked and without answers. So to this video all I can think is, “Well of course that happened. It’s just another day.” However, after our lecture in class a couple days ago about the statistics about kids talking to strangers and getting abducted, I have a new take on this video. We learned in class that research shows that strangers are 99% likely to help a child that is lost or in danger rather than try to snatch them. But these numbers seem unbelievable. Today, we teach our children to NEVER talk to strangers and that everyone is out to get them. I feel like this goes back to the personal troubles versus social issues we have been talking about. I believe that it is a social issue, not that kids are seemingly getting kidnapped every day (because they’re not), but that we are so scared by the news and so willing to hear their advice that we have created a false sense of fear and urgency. I think people need to look at the bigger picture and realize that news stations don’t care about them or how to help them, they are merely in it for viewer ratings and to sell themselves. Of course they’re going to find the saddest videos or the ones that make us feel most afraid, because those are the ones people are going to tune into watch. Of course you want to hear about this poor child that got snatched! What if it happened to you? Oh my gosh you better start living your life in fear and watch your child every second! I don’t think this sort of fear will go away anytime soon. All that can be done is to get the true statistics out there from people who actually care about the welfare of the general public. In short, stop watching the news, because it’s only creating more and more social issues rather than fixing them. Fri, 25 Feb 2011 18:04:05 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/21/stranger-kidnapping/#IDComment130647535 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/15/social-structure-shapes-free-will/#IDComment128655594 Watching the video about polyandry in the Himalayans was very eye opening to the way other cultures differ from American “norms.” It’s easy to forget that where I live and the things I believe are not the only way of thinking or doing something. I feel like because I haven’t traveled at all in my life, I am limited on my understanding of the world. However, seeing a video like this makes me curious about how things are done in other cultures, countries, and environments. I was a little shocked to see how accepted the practice of polyandry was in this country. In America, anyone who practiced this would be looked down upon and not understood. But seeing how these people believe and follow reminds me of the TED video we watched recently in class. That video talked about freedom and why having more and more choices doesn’t necessarily make people happier. These people in the Himalayans seemed to be very happy with their way of life. No one was complaining or suggesting different ways. This could be because they are limited on their choices. These people have limited land space and need to restrain their population so they don’t become over crowded. That fact coupled with the fact that there are more men than women leave few options for marriages and families. Within these few options, these people have picked polyandry as a way of still having families and loving relationships, while keeping the population down. Today in America, there are so many different choices for everything from what to eat for lunch to what to wear to how to live your life. As far as marriage and family life is concerned, someone could chose to marry someone of the opposite sex, marry someone of the same sex, not marry, have kids, adopt kids, be a single parent, and there are even more options than these. However, even with these choices, people in America still feel guilty for finally making a decision, or are paralyzed by all the different options. The amount of choices in America does not mean we are actually happier than people in other places. In fact, polyandry isn’t even a choice in America which says something about how really “free” we are. Although the people from the Himalayans are living their lives much different than I could ever live mine, it doesn’t mean either way is right or better. Thu, 17 Feb 2011 21:06:54 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/15/social-structure-shapes-free-will/#IDComment128655594 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/09/4092/#IDComment127451452 Reading the letter titled, “Remember,” by a man who is in prison for the rest of his life, I am startled to learn what he forgets and what he cannot forget even if he wanted to. In this letter, the prisoner talked about not being able to remember his first day in prison or what it felt like to be there. This was especially shocking to me. When I go to a new place, or start somewhere new, it’s always an experience I never seem to be able to forget about. For example, I clearly remember walking into my dorm last semester for the first time. When I opened the door to my dorm, I can exactly remember thinking how strange it would be to live in this new place for an entire year. I was overcome with emotions and a sense of having grown up very quickly. I think my first day in college is something I never forget; I never want to forget. Therefore, it is interesting that this man couldn’t remember his first day in a new place. Granted, going to prison is not the same emotion as going to college for the first time, but still, these are life changing events. Maybe the reason he cannot remember this experience is because he has had a far more significant life changing event. Taking someone else’s life is one of the most heinous crimes anyone can commit. Maybe the reason all this man can seem to focus on is his mistakes and the pain he caused, because everything after that moment seems unimportant. This letter is also interesting, however, because at the end, this man ends his depressing letter with a message about the forgiveness of God. Today in class, Professor Richards talked about how life prisoners have two options, to go crazy or to go inward and find God. I think this letter is a great example of someone embracing the second option and finding a higher power to guide him. Also, this letter gives some specific details about the crime this man committed to get himself a life sentence. Looking at this through the lens of sociology, I am forced to wonder not about his personal problem, but about the bigger social problem that landed him in jail. What strings are attached to him that make him more likely to commit a crime? Where does he come from? What was his home life like? Was he abused as a child? Although this man ponders whether or not he should be forgiven by the common man, the common man must remember that problems are not personal, but all inclusive, and we must look at the whole before we can find a solution for the individual. Sat, 12 Feb 2011 01:44:47 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/09/4092/#IDComment127451452 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/30/conformity-rules-the-day/#IDComment126045972 This video definitely illustrates what we were discussing in class today. In class, Professor Richards defined “informational social influence” as the phenomenon that happens when an individual assumes that the group knows more than they do. In this video, the unassuming man in the elevator believed that the strangers in the elevator knew more about the situation than he did. Maybe there was some specific rule about that elevator he didn’t know about. People are so afraid of breaking the rules or sticking out that if a group of people seems to be in agreement about something, most people will just go along. I believe it all goes back to the “invisible strings” we keep talking about in class. The strings tell people to “fit in” and “follow the rules,” so when it seems a new rule has come up that you don’t know about, you feel out of the loop and the strings pull you to do whatever it takes to fix that. It’s like that feeling you get when you realize everybody knows something you don’t. It’s a sort of guilty, ashamed, embarrassed feeling in the pit of your stomach that says, “Why didn’t anybody tell me about this??” I’ve learned in biology class about homeostasis, which is where an organism is in complete equilibrium, or that is to say nothing is out of balance. I think that informational social influence comes from the fact that when a majority of people seem to know something we don’t and we get that feeling in our stomachs, it throws us out of homeostasis. There is then a chemistry theory called Le Chatelier’s principle that says, if external stress is applied to a system at equilibrium, the system will adjust itself in such a way as to offset the stress. I believe it’s this theory that makes people engage in group think. When a group does something horrible or shocking like hazing or mass suicide, most people wonder, “What were they thinking?” But I believe that the invisible strings pull people do these things to offset the stress they feel when their homeostasis gets thrown off. Sat, 5 Feb 2011 01:25:14 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/30/conformity-rules-the-day/#IDComment126045972 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/23/how-free-are-these-90-students/#IDComment124444855 The video about 11% of a high school being pregnant is a perfect example of freedom and determinism like we have been discussing in class. I believe there are many factors that contribute to these girls getting pregnant beyond random chance or being uneducated about sex. While the 90 girls who are pregnant or already have a baby may feel like choosing to have or keep their baby is their choice, when viewed through the lenses of sociology we know that it is not. What is it about this school or the location or demographics of the town that is pushing these girls to become pregnant? What “invisible strings” are tied to these kids, both the boys and girls responsible, that has brought them to this situation? Statistics show that kids who come from low income families are more at risk for teen pregnancy. From the video clip, we know that approximately 100% of the kids at Frayser High School qualify for free or reduced lunch. Another risk factor for teen pregnancy is coming from abusive homes. The cycle of abusive parents hurting their kids and the kids growing up to abuse their own kids is one that seems unbreakable. Maybe these girls are thinking that if they have their own babies, they can break the cycle. Maybe these girls think that by keeping their babies they will finally have someone who loves them unconditionally. The girls are not the only factor in alarming rates of teen pregnancy at this school. The young men who are the fathers to these children may be determined to start over with these kids and try to make a new life. Although the decision to get pregnant or keep your baby is thought to be made freely, there are many factors that pull the decision one way or another. While these kids may think they are deciding to move into adulthood at an alarming speed really it is the “invisible strings” of the world that push these decisions. We are all attached to these strings, and although we can loosen them to decide our own future, without education about these strings many people could end up making decisions without being aware of why they are truly doing it. It’s not education about sex that would help these girls, but education about freedom, and the forces in the world that push our decisions that would help them the most. Sat, 29 Jan 2011 01:00:48 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/23/how-free-are-these-90-students/#IDComment124444855 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/15/what-does-it-mean-to-be-free/#IDComment122820278 Although we have been talking about and discussing the ideas of freedom and what it means to be “free” during class, the letter from this man has really helped me understand freedom like nothing else has. I especially liked the part where he compared freedom to wall paper and talked about how people don’t understand their freedoms because they’ve never had them taken away from them. These concepts really paralleled what Professor Richards said during class about how, “The fish is the last to understand water.” We are like the fish because we can never truly understand being free, or the specific freedoms we have in this country until someone takes them away and says, “Look, see this is what you had before? Wasn’t it wonderful? Wish you could have it back?” I think the most simple way to understand all of this is by old adage of, “You don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone.” However, because not many people are going to willing to give up the freedoms they have, whether big or small, we can only attempt to understand the trials of being “unfree” through the words and examples given to us by the letter from this man. Attempting to understand through empathy and really opening the mind to the possibilities of choice and captivity, we might be able to glimpse the ideas this man describes. It is heartening to know, however, that even in what seems the most depressing situations, one can still be free in their mind. I believe that one freedom that can never be taken away from us is our power to think for ourselves. Even if all your food choices were taken away and your option was to eat dirt, you could still choose to eat nothing. If you were only given one clothing option, you could choose to go naked. Now, granted, someone in prison would probably not only be offered dirt or be allowed to walk around naked. But the fact is that each person is still his or her own master, and that is the greatest freedom of all. Fri, 21 Jan 2011 18:27:26 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/15/what-does-it-mean-to-be-free/#IDComment122820278 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/10/last-name-%e2%80%9cc%e2%80%9d-%e2%80%93-intense-debate/#IDComment120821491 SOC 001 Wed, 12 Jan 2011 04:03:25 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/10/last-name-%e2%80%9cc%e2%80%9d-%e2%80%93-intense-debate/#IDComment120821491