Hillary Clinton is in the pocket of Big Toast.

Some people get out of the shower, wrap a towel around their hair, and yet go out in public with their hair shamelessly uncovered.

I went to an ok go concert once when I was visiting my cousin in California over spring break. They were the headliners but I mostly remember the concert because some band named io echo opened for them, had a sick cover of "I want you (she's so heavy)", and had a song in a phone commercial a couple months later, which was the only time in my life when I felt like I totally had my finger on the pulse of cool underground music.

Where do they all come from, Cotton Eye Jong?

Party on, Wa-GARTH.

I hear all of this in the voice of Kevin McDonald from the "Bass Player" sketch. It's much less imperious than the voices I imagine many of you are thinking of, but I am pleased with my choice.

Which Kansas album? Are you 12 foot tall John Brown?

A troubled youth pastor is slumped over his desk, head in his hands, when suddenly he bolts upright.

"'So go ahead and tell them Corinthians that!' Perfect! Thank you for your guidance, Lord!"

Because you know I'm all about that God
Bout that God
No Satan

Somebody has already done this, and whoever they are, they believe that they have finally cracked the code that will let them reach the cynical youth of today.

Matt Engarde?