JayZeke

JayZeke

69p

68 comments posted · 18 followers · following 0

221 weeks ago @ Mile Square View - BREAKING EXCLUSIVE: CA... · 0 replies · +7 points

I sense two important factors.

1) There is some serious daylight opening between this potential client and his current counsel.

2) The bar for the level of service expected is preternaturally low.

This looks like a job for.... JayZeke ... Master Litigator!!!! (cash only, all sales final)

221 weeks ago @ Mile Square View - Some heads are gonna r... · 1 reply · +6 points

I've advised my clients they're safe.

I've sent them my bill for advising them so.

I've also sent them a waiver to sign whereby they acknowledge my advice may turn out to be totally inaccurate.

I should teach a course on all this.

230 weeks ago @ Mile Square View - Corruption bomb drops ... · 0 replies · +4 points

Need an attorney? Well don't we all....

But KA-CHIN up, my friend. You've come to the right place. Obviously your associates dropped the ball or you wouldn't be looking for ties that go with orange right now, am I right?

What're we gonna do? SUE THE BASTARDS!!! There was an implied contract of service, support and confidentiality. They broke that contract when they got arrested. They broke it again when they squealed. Wanna know the beauty part of this suit? The more people get arrested, the more money you make. WIN-WIN!!!

A word about "squealing" for people in your present circumstances. He who squeals first, squeals least..... You don't look like you're too capable of grabbing and holding your ankles, so you might wanna go with squealing first.

232 weeks ago @ Mile Square View - SEIZED! · 1 reply · +5 points

Congratulations on your windfall. Glad I was able to do what I call "help."

Please advise of any emerging frivolous litigation needs you may have.

The spring sewing season is right around the corner. I'm working on a brief to sue cherry trees for littering and just need a few folks to sign on and make it a class action. The annual pink reign of terror will finally be ended!

235 weeks ago @ Mile Square View - Gone but not forgotten · 0 replies · +1 points

If you happen to see my erstwhile client, please give her my fondest regards and tell her I am at her disposal for any and all services inclusive of but not limited to serving people at their place of business, serving them in front of their children, stalking them on facebook, making unenforceable written threats in the event of non-compliance, 2am phonecalls - in other words, my compleat set of skills. I have 8 subpoenas drafted and ready at all times. Just have to fill in the names.

Just an fyi... Things have been ever-so-slightly slow of late. I think of it more as a fallow period of regeneration than an actual lull. Possibly my phone number was misstated in all phone books and websites everywhere. Happens all the time.

Incidentally, there appears to be just the merest question of my general competence. A passing cloud, no doubt. Nothing to trouble Lady Mc Beth, so to say. Why, I'll bet there's a stack of new business requests just sitting in my inbox now! If only these darn public computers didn't work in 10 minute increments. Someone tell the guy behind me in the line that the goat porno will still be there when I'm done. Shouldn't be looking at that in a public library anyway, and it probably hasn't changed since yesterday. Cripes.

244 weeks ago @ Mile Square View - Grist for the Mill: So... · 0 replies · +12 points

We intend to prove conclusively that Mayor Zimmer failed to control her animal.

Score another one for --- JayZeke --- Master Litigator!!!. (cash only, all sales final. Looking for a gift for that special hard-to-shop-for someone in your life? What about a frivolous lawsuit? Nothing says Christmas like bankrupting your enemies, right? Each lawsuit comes packed in holiday snow to remind them it's a dish best served cold. All they have to do is fill in a defendant's name and a dollar amount. We'll add a reason later. Not that important. Happy Holidays from all of us here at Happy Ending Litigation, LLP)

249 weeks ago @ Mile Square View - Requests for Hoboken\'... · 0 replies · +5 points

Big fan. I found him approachable yet sleazy. That's the combination I'm looking for.

Two thumbs up!

Hey, Beth, when do I get paid? Did Barracato lose my address again?

255 weeks ago @ Mile Square View - Council candidate Edua... · 0 replies · +4 points

My future client is only being criticized for telling the council to act on a rumor because is isn't white. Or he isn't as white as he could be.

256 weeks ago @ Mile Square View - Tiffanie Fisher announ... · 0 replies · +9 points

Nothing in her resume about delivering deliverables. Competent? Hardly.

258 weeks ago @ Mile Square View - Tiffanie Fisher makes ... · 0 replies · +7 points

Ahem, my client has been busying herself with the management of her fabulous new hotel, named for beloved slave-owner Henry Clay. In just under a year as owner, she has already produced this dynamic website. http://www.henryclayinn.com/

So obviously she's been a little too preoccupied to be attending these alleged city council meetings and eating spaghetti with these alleged voters. There will be time for all that later - how long does it take to write out a few checks? First things first.