gdp's Comments

TheFeministBreeder : Backseat Parents: Kick Them Out of the Car

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 14:40:56 +0000

Jonas sounds completely normal. That was a period in my eldest's life when I began calling him "Pierre," after the character in the Maurice Sendak book who kept saying, "I don't care" until that response landed him inside the belly of a lion. I still call him Pierre sometimes ... at 15, "I don't care" becomes the equally infuriating, "Whatever."

TheFeministBreeder : TFB on TLC

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 22:03:38 +0000

Be careful dear heart. Having been a television producer, been interviewed a lot, and watched the nightmare results of other "alternative parenting" interviews, I worry for you. Portraying non-mainstream parenting in a positive light just doesn't make for good television.

Womanist Musings : Go Ahead Say Nigger

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 18:23:42 +0000

I have never had any desire to use this word. I wonder whether the number of whites expressing a desire for the "freedom" to use the word is like the number of fundamentalist Christian homeschoolers - they are the minority but seem like the majority because they make more noise. I am all for word reclamation when to do so brings with it power. As a woman I feel this way about the word "bitch" because it also carries meanings I am willing to embrace - difficult, independent, strong, outspoken. For the same reason I disagree with Eve Ensler on the reclamation of "cunt" which I think has no meanings I like. No thanks - I'd prefer never to hear that word again. As a white person, racial epithets are not mine to reclaim and I hope I am not in the minority in having no desire to.

Womanist Musings : Gay, White and Male Still Equals Privileged

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 17:01:37 +0000

I don't think this post is a display of whiteness. It is a display of racism, inaccuracy, and more than a little lunacy. A few points I can't resist making: prisons are in fact filled with gay people, gay people neither decrease crime rates nor increase property values (though a Neighborhood Watch patrol a la Gay Pride Parade is an amusing image), and no one is a "burden" to the welfare system.

Womanist Musings : Gay, White and Male Still Equals Privileged

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 05:01:08 +0000

All privilege is not the same. Nor can it be compared qualitatively, I think. I think one must acknowledge that while the white gay man has the benefit of white privilege, this does not wholly negate the impact of being gay. He does not have the same privilege that the white straight man has. Does his gayness take away some of his whiteness? No but he is not as privileged. I know this is all made more difficult when dealing with class. I know growing up poor I felt that I did not have the benefit of white privilege. I was wrong but the privilege I enjoyed was not the same as a white girl of another class. Perhaps privilege is cumulative. White+male+middle class is greater than white+male+poor. Perhaps?

Womanist Musings : Gay, White and Male Still Equals Privileged

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 02:45:04 +0000

Very interesting point concerning "passing" (and I agree) but I disagree that it is only the mind society seeks to oppress for LGBT people. Physical sex acts as part of the LGBT being are most definitely the target of control by straight culture.

Womanist Musings : The Other Half Of The Choice

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 20:35:45 +0000

Whoa! I didn't say feminism (second or other wave) is responsible for forcing WOC to leave their children. I did benefit greatly from Second Wave Feminism - I was in the first class at my law school that was 51% female. And then I discovered that success at law firms was dependent on my "passing" as male. One partner told me I smiled too much: "If you were a man it would be different but as a woman partners will question your judgment." Another regularly pinched my ass. Women who had children were expected to give birth on Friday and come to work on Monday - otherwise you were on the "Mommy Track" instead of the "Partnership Track." So in many ways Second Wave Feminism seduced me into thinking I could have it all when only the surface had changed. I worked for a lot of Hillary Clintons - corporate lawyers who outsourced their mothering and were quite hard on those of us who complained that we wanted more than that. Don't mean to be harsh about the SW - it allowed me dreams my mother couldn't have. But once I had children, they were mostly dreams again because the career I had chosen had no place for women who did not want to give the majority of mothering to someone else. Should men have to face the same challenges women do when it comes to responsibility for child care? Absolutely. But they don't. Some of why they don't is because men are still paid more than women in the US so if a heterosexual couple is deciding who will sacrifice waged work , it is usually the woman because her wage is lower. I don't see poverty as the root of the problem. Poverty is a symptom of an economic system that does not ensure that everyone has what they need. I think that is about capitalism and I do believe that socialism is a better system. Housekeeping/child care jobs in the US are low paid jobs disproportionately filled by WOC. The low status of child care as waged labor reflects a societal valuation of child care. We all owe a great deal to feminism throughout history, but I think it is time to move forward with a feminism that embraces mothers doing more of their own mothering without having to sacrifice their waged work.

Womanist Musings : The Other Half Of The Choice

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 02:14:10 +0000

One place that some of this discussion is going on (feminist mothering) is the Association for Research on Mothering ( http://www.yorku.ca/arm/) which has a good mix of academic theory, art, and activism. But finding these conversations in the US is often hard where one is immediately suspect if one acknowledges that mothering and capitalism are at odds. Second wave feminism never rejected capitalism - liberation that required hiring a woman of color to leave her children and raise yours was just fine. I am trying to got to start a discussion of what societal change supports the acts of mothering at http://www.SustainableMothering.com.