So, a nasty villain has locked a beautiful young girl up in a tower and plans to force her to marry him. A brave hero (whose father was killed by the villain) has sworn to defeat the vile knave and rescue the princess. Good, good, everything seems to be humming along smoothly -- the fuck?! The princess is supposed to disappear from the narrative now, with the occasional exception of a scene here or there to remind us the villain is evil or that the "good villain" isn't so bad. She's certainly not supposed to have any impact on the world around her until the hero has rescued her! What's she doing here -- making decisions about her future, anchoring her own supporting cast? Exploring themes of romantic literature (in both the popular and specific meanings of that word)? This is outrageous! What do you think you're doing, young lady? Being a protagonist? Shame on you! You march right back into your tower cell and sit there until Robb gets there to save you; is that clear?

Dontos is . . . not exactly the kind of guy Bonnie Tyler was talking about, huh? And the moment Sansa leaves him she runs into Sandor, another knight-but-not-a-knight -- just a coincidence, I'm sure. We're not being invited to think about the contrasts/similarities between them or anything, right?;)

Cersei's not good on details or follow-through, but she is clever when it comes to choke-points*; I think that bit about switching out Sansa's servants is great. It's such a Cersei thing to remember: Sansa can't get away without help, so control everyone she sees and she won't have to worry about her getting away too.

*When they were at Darry looking for Arya, she had her men at all the entrances. Even though Jory found her, she made sure the Stark girl was dragged in front of the whole court anyway. When she decided to take out Ned, Cersei lured him out of the Tower of the Hand first and forced the showdown in the throne room, where she was prepared.

You've got a point about waiting too long -- if he'd gotten the word about the incest out before Robb was acclaimed, Stannis might have the North in his corner instead of fighting for independence. Doesn't the Greatjon sneer at both Renly and Stannis as "naught to me"? This is why real medieval kings travelled around and wrote letters -- to develop bonds with their subjects beyond the theoretical. Stannis wants the realm to stand firm behind him and feels vindicated in his instinctive pessimism when they seem to reject him, but he's got the cart before the horse; he needs to put together an anti-Lannister coalition, to take the lead, not just wait for one to drop into his lap.

That said, I can't be too hard on him in this chapter. His outreach has been piss-poor up to now, but sending out the letter is the right move. It's shit-or-get-off-the-pot time, and the king has decided on taking a long, wet dump on Cersei and Joffrey. This could be the beginning of the end for the Lannisters.

Or it could be progress that gets pissed away in the king's next appearance by his abrasive personality and conviction that everyone already hates him so why not be an asshole? He is still Stannis, after all.

Davos, our first lowborn POV character since poor Will from the first book's prologue, has a fantastic intro here. He possesses genuine humility, but the reader can see (even if Davos can't) that he's got a pretty good head on his shoulders. He clearly sees the "real" nobility scorns his family and cautions his sons not to pick unwise fights even as he reflects on his long-term social-climbing ambitions. He admires Stannis' best self and worries about the trouble his dark side makes for him. His thought that he couldn't even imagine harming Marya for a magic sword is a lovely detail that fixed him firmly among my favourites.

Yeah, Ned found out Stannis had been investigating the twincest with Arryn before his death.

I love how quickly Martin establishes his new castmembers as intelligent, driven people who care not one whit they weren't protagonists in the first novel -- they're here now, and in it to win it! Melisandre draws on tropes (pre-Christian paganism, fanatical religiosity, demonic imagery, the evil councillor, the femme fatale) but they aren't bad on their own, they're put to good use creating an oppressive, dreadful atmosphere that rivals the first book's prologue, and certainly help her make a hell of an impression! New readers will certainly be on the lookout for her next appearance, I think.

Then there's Stannis. Look dude, you're the king. You know Cersei's kids aren't Robert's, so you're his legal heir; you became king when he died. Yet all you do with this is gripe and groan about your rights when the guys who killed Robert are unpunished! The Lannisters are usurping the throne! Kings have responsibilities, asshole! You're not even in the wrong, you're just going about this in the most counterproductive way ever! You don't want the North to secede? Explain what's fucking going on to them! The guy in KL who ordered Ned killed wasn't the real king! If that were known at the KingindaNorf! meeting a lot would be different right now, huh? Geez, twice in two decades now a Stark lord has gone to see the king and ended up betrayed and killed, of course they're going to be angry!/rant

Also, now's as good a place as any to confess my white-hot hatred of Renly. I don't interpret the Rainbow Guard or anything else he's done as a commitment to diversity or unity or anything like that -- it's just more glory-hogging. The first thing of importance Renly did in the first book was to escalate the Arya-Joffrey fight for no reason except to embarrass his "nephew". Sure, pointing out to everyone that the little dickface lost a fight to a girl three years younger than him was satisfying in the moment, as was scoffing aloud at "Lion's Tooth!" as he left, but that behaviour didn't do the Starks any favours. He never won back my affection afterward, either. He showed Ned a pic of Margaery Tyrell and asked if she looked like Lyanna, was disappointed when Ned said no, then we hear (after all the shit's gone down in KL) that he's married the girl. There's some scheme behind that, no doubt. Seems like an out-for-himself type to me, not to mention a consequences-are-for-other-peopleist.

I love Cat so much -- especially that we see these events through her eyes. Every fictional mom who ever died before the story began so that her presence wouldn't clutter up the narrative is cheering her on right now, whooping it up that one of their own is pushing an agenda and making a direct impact on major events!

Tyrion seems to have lost track of Bronn at the same time he lost track of everything else. I really like how that was handled, with our POV at first aware of quite a lot that's going on until the guys trying to kill him get within reach, then our perspective shrinks what is immediately threatening him only. Good way to ramp up tension, which is important to make the readers briefly forget Tyrion's a main character and thus unlikely to die in the first book of a series.

As far as villainy goes, I think signing up to help Team Incest steal the throne qualifies him for the term, if he didn't count before. It's easy to get tripped up by the simple fact we see events from his perspective, and so we get to hear his justifications and learn about his problems and so forth, but unless he's in the dark about his siblings' relationship (and if Bran found out I doubt they could keep it from their observant, cynical-as-fuck brother) he sees nothing wrong with his family hijacking control over the realm. I have a low opinion of leaders who decide the laws don't apply to them or their families.

Spoilers for Storm of Swords:
Va ergebfcrpg, vg'f cerggl pyrne gb zr gung Ebbfr Obygba guerj guvf onggyr. Uvf zvffvba jnf gb qvfgenpg Gljva'f nezl naq xrrc vg sebz yvaxvat hc jvgu Wnvzr'f, ohg ehfurf vagb onggyr jvgu n sbeprq znepu. Univat ehfurq gb zrrg gur Ynaavfgre sbeprf, ur sbezf uvf zra vagb onggyr yvar, naabhapvat gurve cerfrapr gb gur rarzl vafgrnq bs znepuvat ba gur Ynaavfgre pnzc juvyr gurl fgvyy unq fhecevfr. Gur Abeguzra uryq gur uvtu tebhaq, ohg pnzr qbja gb zrrg gur rarzl vafgrnq bs znxvat Gljva chg uvf urnil pninyel va n ihyarenoyr cbfvgvba evqvat hcuvyy. Va nqqvgvba gb nyy gung, Glevba abgrf n ybg bs Abegurea onaaref, ohg arire frrf n synlrq zna, nf gubhtu Ebbfr xrcg uvf bja gebbcf va erfreir, ohg arire frag gurz va orsber fbhaqvat gur ergerng.

V qba'g guvax ur jnf nyernql va orq jvgu Gljva be nalguvat, V whfg guvax ur fnj gur onggyr nf n jnl gb jrnxra uvf arvtuobhef naq orarsvg gur Qernqsbeg. Ubjrire, tvira gur qrngu bs Ybeq Ubeajbbq va guvf svtug naq uvf urve'f qrngu ng Wnvzr'f unaqf va gur arkg puncgre, Ebbfr'f pbyq-oybbqrq qrpvfvbaf va guvf puncgre jvyy unir cebsbhaq pbafrdhraprf yngre.

I'm wondering how the new Ironborn plot is working out for show-only watchers -- is Euron an intimidating threat? Was the Kingsmoot a compelling scene? I'm a little frustrated with some of the adaptation choices from last episode, but it could be the show is doing a fine job and I'm just mad because some of my favourite parts didn't make it in. What say you Unsullied?

Ned and Cat's A+ parenting

Remember when Ned decided to go to King's Landing and investigate whether Arryn was murdered and signed Sansa up for a betrothal to Prince Dickface without telling her he suspected Dickface's family of killing his foster dad? Remember when he called her in front of everybody at Darry to testify about what happened at the ford without coaching her through what to say first? Or how he never has a talk about it with her later, like he (eventually) does with Arya, forcing her to come to terms with it as best she can on her own? Remember when Septa Mordane, charged by Lord and Lady Stark with the girls' education and well-being, got dead drunk at the tourney, forcing Sansa to accept a pity-escort back home? Or how she witnesses Littlefinger speaking inappropriately to Sansa on two separate occasions without telling Ned about it?

But we're getting really off-topic here: GF is expressing frustration at the way Sansa childishly taunts Arya and makes her feel bad about herself, which is (understandable within the society she lives in but still) inexcusable, and at how Sansa prefers to ignore/look past facts that she'd rather not acknowledge, which is a weakness she shares with her father, but a major weakness nonetheless. Nothing wrong with that.

The trailer allayed some of my concerns, but I'm still not sure.

The big danger for the film is pointlessness -- we know from the opening crawl of the first movie that the rebels kick the Empire's butt and steal the plans, so if the conflict of the film is just showing how that happened, then it really doesn't have a right to exist. The film needs to be "about" something else, with the "steal the DS plans" as the backdrop. Luckily, va gur genvyre jr frr Wla Refb'f erpehvgzrag, naq vg fhttrfgf gung <V>Ebthr Bar</V> zvtug unir n punapr. Zbguzn naq Fxrcgvpny Erory Trareny ner pyrneyl haraguhfvnfgvp nobhg oevatvat ba fbzrbar gurl srry vf hagehfgjbegul. Pbzovar gung jvgu gur jnl gur genvyre phgf gbtrgure Sbeerfg Juvgnxre'f yvar, "Jung jvyy lbh orpbzr?" jvgu Wla jrnevat na Vzcrevny havsbez (va n frggvat jurer gur grzcgngvba gb tvir va gb lbhe qnex fvqr vf prageny gb gur zlgubf) zrnaf gur zbivr zvtug or nobhg Wla qrpvqvat orgjrra trahvaryl wbvavat gur Eroryyvba be fryyvat gur tbbq thlf bhg sbe cebsvg. That might be good.

Contrast that with the Young Han Solo movie, which has no chance. No one needs the story of how Han used to give a shit, then had an adventure that ended with him getting burned, resulting in him refusing to give a shit anymore (until he meets Luke and Leia).

S7 spoilers: Evxre'f pnerre vf vagrerfgvat gb guvax nobhg, ohg bayl va gur pbagrkg bs vasbezngvba jr jba'g trg hagvy <v>Gur Crtnfhf</v>, unysjnl guebhtu gur svany frnfba. Vg'f erirnyrq gung Evxre'f svefg PB, Pncgnva Cerffzna, tbg hc gb fbzr qvegl gevpxf* naq fbzr bs gur perj zhgvavrq ntnvafg uvz. Rafvta Evxre gbbx Cerffzna'f fvqr naq urycrq uvz rfpncr; nsgrejneq Cerffzna gbbx ba n tbqsngure ebyr gb gur lbhat bssvpre, neenatvat sbe fjvsg cebzbgvbaf naq pubvpr nffvtazragf sebz oruvaq gur fprarf. Evxre yngre pnzr gb oryvrir ur jnf jebat gb uryc Cerffzna, fb ur zhfg unir sryg erfragshy/thvygl nobhg nyy gur erjneqf gur zna tbg sbe uvz.

*Gung fghss qrsvavgryl jbhyqa'g unir sybja jura Ebqqraoreel jnf ehaavat gur fubj.

The First Season

What a disaster. Of twenty-five episodes, I can only call four of them worthwhile: The Battle, The Big Goodbye, Heart of Glory, and Conspiracy. The characters are still only thinly sketched out (and occasionally insufferable), plots start interesting, then peter out to unsatisfying non-resolutions way too often, and I've yet to see the show do humour well. For my money, TOS Season Three was better than this, and coming from me, that's saying a lot.