162 comments posted · 5 followers · following 0

6 years ago @ The Toast - An Open Thread, and Se... · 1 reply · +22 points

I wish I had something extremely profound to say, but I do not. I'm good with science, not poetry, despite what my 13 year-old self thought. Therefore I will say a science-y good bye.

Like a female schistosome surrounded by the male, may you always have the spirit of the Toast around you.

I love you all, you weirdos. To the Slack!

6 years ago @ The Toast - Open Thread! · 0 replies · +14 points

I literally comfort read The King of Attolia yesterday. I love Megan Whalen Turner. I can just pick that book up over and over.

6 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 0 replies · +12 points

Also that can't be my last comment on the last real OT of the Toast, I LOVE YOU ALL EVEN THOUGH I DON'T KNOW YOU (but really I feel like I do).

Nicole, Nikki, Mallory- thank you so much. I'll miss this place like whoa, but FLY FREE.

6 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 2 replies · +6 points

Today has been... a day. Fair warning- following contains parent based anxiety spiral.

Tomorrow I head off with future in laws, pretty much just so they can meet my dad. My MIL has a conference in a city close to him, so we are going to fly up tomorrow and see him on Sunday. It will probably be fine. I keep telling myself this. My dad will probably be lovely and charming like he always is in small doses.

But the closer that I get to it, the more my anxiety is building. What if he starts in on me about my weight? What if he gets insulted by something I say and starts yelling at me in front of them? What if he says something that I know is a dig but no one else does and I react badly and I look like the worst daughter ever? What if he is great and I get the same crap I always do about "why don't you get along better with your dad, he's great!" Ugh the spiral ugh.

I love my SO's family and I knew it was inevitable, but I really don't want to show them this broken part of me.

6 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 9 replies · +6 points

Do you have a time? Because I am going to be stuck in the mouse house (yes really) from like 7:30-9:30AM CST and I NEED A TOTE.

6 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +1 points

Ah, yes. I had forgotten about that... I think Sing the Four Quarters is okay, as far as I remember. But maybe stay away from some of the newer stuff!

6 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 1 reply · +5 points

Mercedes Lackey has some good series with queer characters. The Last Herald-Mage trilogy is the only one with the protagonist who is a gay character.

I feel kind of weird recommending Lackey, because as an adult I can tell that some of her early works are really not the most well-written. But I loved them as a kid, that didn't matter to me as much. If you've got a really advanced 10 year old they might not work, but they would might be worth a try.

6 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 2 replies · +3 points

I think it depends. Her books definitely all have sex in them, but it is always "fade to black" sex, as far as I recall, never anything explicit. If you have a mature 10 year old you should be fine, but some might not be ready for that at that age.

Also they might necessitate a "when cursing is appropriate" conversation.

6 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 2 replies · +5 points

This makes me very worried because I don't want a registry and I don't want presents (if a friend really wants to do something I will gladly give them a list of charities we support) but already everyone I have told has been kind of weird about it and I've only been engaged for two months.

Why is this a thing? Why do I feel like we're being weirdly judged and selfish for NOT wanting presents?

6 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 1 reply · +54 points

Yeah, I can feel this from both sides. I think Mal/Pru veered off course when she was like "Maybe you're JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER" which if some one said the same thing to me about my dad I would be so incredibly hurt that I wouldn't take anything from it (especially because I have a secret fear that yes, I really am an emotionally abusive ass and I just don't know it!).

I think it's more likely that when you have a terrible relationship with a parent you sometimes can't see anything but the past abuses. It's hard to see that this person might have a point about you hurting them. Also maybe stuff got cut for space, but I don't really feel like we have enough information to make a call about whether the mother is capable of caring for the dog or not.