So it begins...
Evil Supercook vs. Ms Monster

Place your bets!

nihihihihihihihihi!
Called it!

M: Come to the literary side, it is your destiny.
A: No. I lost my role model to a library. She went to return a book and never came back! Never again!
M: Foolish girl, she did not disappear, she IS THE LIBRARIAN!
A: No... No! It's not possible!
M: Check your files, you know it to be true.
A: *checks secret files, then tosses them up in the air* NOOOOOOOOO!
M: There is no escape! Muhahahahahaha!

NB: a lotta lies are in this dialogue >_>;

*clap* *clap*
Not bad

All according to plan.

Why she has her mother's laptop? Simple!
Blackmail material.
Muhahahaha!

(Now I'm worried of what they'll find in there... -_-)

All according to plan

You sneaky little...
I see their plan.
Not bad, I'll admit.
*crosses fingers and dons glasses*
This will prove interesting..

Chicken soup.

Luigi's still going to be Luigi. He WILL take it off at one point. Unless he's....
Oh god.

I respect the guards now.
I imagine it's all a well crafted joke:

*In the Town Guards Guild, a meeting is held*
HeadGuard: "Fellow guardsmen! This Bi-annual meeting is now in session. It has come to my attention that the Dragonborn has appeared.
This is uplifting news. He can finally save us from the Dragon scum and their Giant pets. I propose we should help him in whatever ordeal he faces.
Since he has only begun his adventure, he will have many questions to ask. However, we do not want to hold his hand everywhere he goes."

"Fellow Guardsmen! What should we do to help him in our own way?"

Guard Rep A(From the Region where the Dovalkin was first discovered): "From what we've gathered, the Dragonborn is very reckless, and does not care what happens to himself. I propose we give him advice on armor and protection, so that his chances of living will increase. We can also point him in the right direction."

Guard Rep B: "Isn't that just babying him?! He will never rid us of the Dragon menace if he's only as strong as any guardsmen here!"

Guard Rep C:"Then what do you suppose we do?"

Guard Rep B:"Leave him to his own devices. If he's the chosen one, he can defeat the dragons without our help"

Guard Rep A:"And just let him die?! That is a bad plan. He won't last the third day!"

Guard Rep B:"And babysitting is a good idea? I'll bring in the nursemaids..."

Guard Rep C"Now that was uncalled for!"

Guard Rep A, B and C bicker amongst each other while the HeadGuard tries to call for order.

When suddenly a loud scream rings out through the room, the three reps look to the corner and they see an old Guard clutching his Knee in pain.

HeadGuard: "Your old injury again?"

Guard Rep D:"Yes, it comes and goes on it's own."

HeadGuard: "What is your view on this topic? Should we help the Dragonborn or leave him to his own devices?"

Guard Rep D: "I honestly do not know. Back when I was walking the earth, No Guard ever helped me with anything. I always had to fend for myself. Sooner or later I thought I understood what needed to be protected. By that time I was powerful and confident in my abilities.
But that was short-lived. While fighting off some bandits, I took an arrow to the knee. They escaped while I tended to the wound. I removed the arrow, but it was painful to walk. Sooner or later I couldn't go on adventures anymore. I wish someone told me that back then.."

Head Guard:...

Guard Rep A:...

Guard Rep B:...

Guard Rep C:... "I have a proposition."

HeardGuard:" Hm. Let us hear it."

Guard Rep C: "I propose we tell him what the OldGuard just said."

Guard Rep B: "What? That old story? He'll leave before we've told him half of it! I say-"

Guard Rep C: "No, not the whole thing. Just this sentence: "I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee.""

Guard Rep B: "That does not even make sense!"

HeadGuard: "Ah, I see your point. By telling him this, he will think on it, making him protect himself without us holding his hand! He will consider the large amount of Guards with "knee injuries" and would search out for protection on his own! All in favour?"

Guard Rep A, C, and D: "Aye."

"All against?"

Guard Rep B: "Nay"

HeadGuard: "With the majority, this proposition has been agreed to, and we are all witnesses. In the next week, we will send the order to all four corners of the realm! Every single guard must follow this order."

Guard Rep B: "Surely you can't be se-"

HeadGuard: "ALL of them. This meeting is adjourned."

And so it was decided, that this same piece of advice would be repeated by every Guard in the realm if they chance upon meeting the Dragonborn. Sadly OldGuard was killed in an ambush by bandits three days later. He tried to escape, but he could not run very far.
Even with this tragedy, the order did not change, for it had a new meaning to the guards.

It would now be said in memory of OldGuard, and a desire to protect the people.
.
.
..
...

What have I done...?

Well, it's out of my system now. Weird, since I've never played the game.
*Waits for Grammar hammers while playing Blitzball*

Go Keepa!