I totally agree with you. I am a white guy and totally stay away from the race issue unless I am in the company of my closest friends. It certainly seems (an actually feels like) if you discuss and focus on race, that you could be perceived as racist. Being in Law Enforcement, I have to take that to another level. Many, many times, the issue of race is brought up when dealing with a person of color. I do my absolute best to leave race out of the encounter and very often, the person of color is doing their best to bring race into the encounter.
The “A Girl Like Me” video was very interesting and at the same time, very sad. This was a video that was put together by a young black girl. Many young, black girls were interviewed. The resounding sentiment was that they were taught at a very young age that lighter skin was more beautiful as well as many other “white” features (ie. Hair, nose, etc.). We also viewed a study that was completed using very young black children. The children would enter a room and were shown two dolls that were identical in every way, except for their skin color. One doll was black and one doll was white. When asked which doll they liked the best, the overwhelming majority chose the white doll. They also would chose the white doll when asked which doll was the good doll. When asked which doll was “bad”, the black doll was selected a large percentage of the time. These children were extremely young and already at the pre-school/elementary school age, it was ingrained in them that “white” is better.
The third stage is Immersion. In this stage, the conscious exploration of heritage begins and white people become irrelevant. They find other non-white cultures uninteresting, but tolerate them because they are allies against white people. They will often belittle their own people who are not in this stage. This stage is marked by a chaotic balance of bitterness and love.
The fourth stage is the Disintegration stage. In this stage, people of color begin to see their own bigotry. They make links to “racism” and “prejudice” and contradictory actions. They begin to confront their own people in this stage.
The fifth stage is the Pseudo Communitarian Stage. In this stage, meaningful relationships are established with anyone. Race still remains the primary lens through which they navigate the world, so you still focus on issues related to their own group or minority issues in general.
I can definitely see that the lectures are going in a different direction, but they are still very interesting. This lesson covers “The tale of the two legged Amphibians” or the tale of color. The first stage for people of color is the Pre-Awakening Stage. In this stage, little thought is given to racial and cultural differences. People sometimes assume they are “white.” This is common among Asians. Also in this stage, racism is experienced, but not clearly identified as “racism.” Cultural views and emotions surrounding race are internalized. This can include a deep rooted self-hatred.
The second stage is the awakening stage. In this stage, people of color awaken to their ancestry and realize that the place of their group is within the mainstream culture. They begin to see the “us” and “them” groups and discover that they are the “them”. They begin to struggle with white culture but they don’t embrace their own culture.
I too was very interested in the whole wash cloth issue. I am your average white guy. I have always had and always used wash cloths. I know that many people do not use them, and often wondered how they scrubbed themselves clean. I never really knew that this was an issue that was mildly divided by race. I thought it was funny. For once, I found myself in the minority. I would imagine, like with many other issues, it is how you are raised. My family always used wash cloths, so I use them. My wife always used wash cloths and it was never a topic of discussion.
It was interesting to discuss how people of color can keep white people at this stage by: dismissing white concern or white guilt; keep white people on edge with anger; talk about the past and inequality; and feeling good (secretly) when a white person struggles.
In stage 4 – Reversal, discomfort can cause white people to fall back into old patterns. Reversal can bring out anger toward people of color.
Finally!! The beads!! I have been wondering during all of these lectures what the story of the beads was.
We then moved on to Stage 3 which is Revisioning. In this stage, one begins to see racial inequality, white privilege and racism; may not see a problem with Political Correctness; may reach out to people of color; this increased awareness leads to anger towards whites; and growing discomfort with inequality can lead to guilt. Dr. Richard then asked the class, “Who feels guilty for being white?” This really made me think. Why should a white person feel guilty for being white? Just as a person of color should not feel bad about being a person of color. You have no control of what your ethnic background is and thus you shouldn’t feel bad about it.
While discussing the awakening stage the issue of thinking about or talking about race in situations when you shouldn’t be thinking or talking about it. I believe that this happens a lot. Just like the example of a car crash. “This black guy pulled out in front of me!” This type of situation occurs quite frequently. I really don’t think that in most situations this statement is racially motivated, but is an interesting issue to look at. It is almost “natural” for some people to identify someone’s race, when the race of the individual isn’t or shouldn’t be a factor.
I smell like a dog when I am wet? Really? That comment is probably the thing that will stick with me the most from this lecture. This was a very interesting lecture, but that one really got me. Now, to go back to the beginning of the lecture. I would have to agree that white people are either taught or learn not to talk about race. Speaking about race, in and of itself, can be perceived to be racist. We are taught to treat everyone equally.
The video clip of the two white Nationalist girls was very sad. These two beautiful young ladies are being taught to hate and that their race is superior. As the old saying goes, “You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family.” These two girls will be entrenched in a life of hatred simply because of who their parents are.
I totally get what you are saying about the situation with your mother. I am sure that it was one of the most difficult situations in your life. Through my work, I have seen a large variety of individuals who are injured, physically disabled, mentally handicapped, etc. It isn’t until you see and/or interact with these individuals that one realizes how good they have it. We all take so much for granted, like being able to walk, talk, see, hear, to name a few. The old saying “We don’t know what we have until it is gone” could easily be just “We don’t know what we have.”
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