gdp's Comments

The Toast : How To Behave When You Realize You Have Accidentally Traveled Through Time Or Swapped Bodies With Yo

Thu, 18 Jun 2015 17:43:16 +0000

These are very sensible tips. I always think about my poor recollection of high school history classes would doom me. https://youtu.be/PGjKL9UZiMU

The Toast : Mallory Explains Classic Works Of Art: The Oath Of The Horatii

Mon, 15 Jun 2015 18:31:24 +0000

I should have clarified in my original comment, could we all agree that "it's hilarious to imagine" that swords...blah blah blah phallic? And holding three at a time is pretty advanced. Does Freud have anything to say on the noble art of sword-swallowing?

The Toast : Mallory Explains Classic Works Of Art: The Oath Of The Horatii

Mon, 15 Jun 2015 18:05:11 +0000

But can we all agree that swords, both these and in those presented in other works of art, are almost always phallic symbols?

The Toast : Kids In The Hall Monday: Sarcastic Guy

Mon, 8 Jun 2015 15:16:18 +0000

I SAW KIDS IN THE HALL ON SATURDAY IN DENVER ON THE LAST NIGHT OF THEIR TOUR. Yes, that was worth shouting. They did the country doctor sketch with a few great updates. Still basking in the Canadian afterglow.

The Toast : Classic Films, Summarized By Someone Who Has Never Seen Them

Thu, 30 Apr 2015 14:37:25 +0000

"And what do you want to be when you grow up, Travis?" "I want to drive a cab!" he said, excitedly. And that's exactly what he did! -Taxi Driver

The Toast : Here Are Some Paintings Of A Woman Riding Aristotle Like A Pony

Wed, 29 Apr 2015 14:54:50 +0000

YASSSSSSS! <img src="http://www.sundialbooks.net/files/sundial/misty_of_chincoteague-loRes.jpg">

The Toast : Every Californian Novel Ever

Tue, 14 Apr 2015 17:39:25 +0000

While I'm certain you meant antihero, I'm enamored with the idea of an ant detective now. <img src="http://i60.tinypic.com/jpk67a.jpg" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic">

The Toast : Things I've Learned About Heterosexual Female Desire From Decades Of Reading

Tue, 14 Apr 2015 14:36:04 +0000

Like Curley in Of Mice and Men. One hand rough and one hand in a Vaseline glove all day! <img src="http://www.bbc.co.uk/staticarchive/868f9ec8c0a59569ea86ef8f0939d950df1fb5e2.jpg">

The Toast : Owl Faces In Order

Thu, 9 Apr 2015 18:23:11 +0000

Unlike in Twin Peaks, these owls are exactly what they seem. Two logs up!

The Toast : The Sequel To Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory That Charlie's Mother Deserves

Tue, 31 Mar 2015 19:14:36 +0000

And when they failed to immediately comply, wrath rushed over her. Wrath as she'd never known; never dared to feel. Not hot, like you'd expect, but cold waves of fury. She reached for her pile of oily, dirty rags and threw them upon the bed. Nobody moved. They had been conditioned to be still in front of her for so long. By the time they saw her reaching for the lamp, it was too late. The shock of the wall of flames pushed her from her icy rage. A smile crept across her face.

The Toast : Twelve Classic Novels As Summarized By Someone Who Has Not Read Them

Tue, 31 Mar 2015 18:23:52 +0000

"You know what we should do today?" she murmured, lazily. "What's that, my darling?" "We should take the ferry to Terabithia and make a day of it." "Oh, didn't you know? There's a bridge now. That will save a lot of time."

The Toast : Twelve Classic Novels As Summarized By Someone Who Has Not Read Them

Tue, 31 Mar 2015 18:19:31 +0000

I am going to try to convince myself that the above version of Flowers for Algernon is real. How nice for Algernon!

The Toast : Things I Believe To Be True With Perfect Trust And Perfect Faith About Yesterday's "Modern Love" Col

Mon, 30 Mar 2015 16:42:48 +0000

"Oh yeah, Diana, she's the one always walking around with two diamond rings on three fingers and muttering about chandeliers in every room. Can't wait to see what a clusterfuck THAT column will be."

The Toast : Songs from a Johnny Cash Album Where the Law is Just and Your Loved Ones Can Be Trusted

Tue, 17 Mar 2015 16:11:12 +0000

"A Boy Named Sue: Not a Big Deal in Our Modern Society that Rejects the Gender Binary"

The Toast : Goodbye To All That: Music To Throw Out Clothing To

Fri, 13 Mar 2015 17:00:47 +0000

Thank you, SO MUCH, for not including "Let it Go" on this list.

The Toast : Paintings of Witches Sabbats That Resemble Parties I Have Attended

Mon, 2 Mar 2015 19:47:01 +0000

"Just a regular Thursday night" could/should double as an ad for a feminist-friendly porn shop. Those ladies look SO happy with their brooms.