gdp's Comments

Hooking Up Smart : Why Feminists Want You to Get Herpes

Mon, 26 Apr 2010 19:59:03 +0000

You are what you read. I'm all for being open minded and trying to understand the perspectives of other people. But not everyone is interested in a respectful, intellectual discussion. A lot of writers just saturate their writing with an attitude, hoping you'll absorb it by osmosis. There's no appeal to logic, just repeated assertions and emotional charges. Eventually your brain absorbs this attitude, and you accept their values without any critical thinking. This is the formula Jezebel, Roissy, Glen Beck, ect use. Be careful.

Hooking Up Smart : Boston Marathon Linkage

Wed, 21 Apr 2010 02:20:03 +0000

Did I give you the impression that I didn't like this week's work? I'm sorry, maybe I should complain less. I like your blog.

Hooking Up Smart : Boston Marathon Linkage

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 23:40:45 +0000

Are these cupcakes supposed to be a joke? What's the punchline? Is military camo now the symbol for manliness (as if the essence of masculinity was aggression)? This seems like the kind of product people buy once, just to be funny. I hate to call the PC police, but this kind of sexism cuts me a little too close to be funny. (Besides, cupcakes are better without frosting.)

Hooking Up Smart : What Women Really Love About Bad Boys

Sat, 17 Apr 2010 14:25:03 +0000

Larry King has his groupies: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/ladies-love-larry-king-... I'm not a woman, but I can't imagine the guys on my list are suffering from their clean-cut images. Do you really think these Zack Efrom would be more popular with females if he played asshole game? Do you think Michael Bublé (who's fans are almost entirely female) annoys women when he makes cute songs like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AJmKkU5POA&pl...

Hooking Up Smart : What Women Really Love About Bad Boys

Sat, 17 Apr 2010 02:03:24 +0000

I hate to be the one to say "not everyone's like that" but there are counterexamples: Justin Bieber Zac Efron Will Smith Patrick Steward Elijah Wood Mike Rowe Larry King (serial monogamist, but very caring and humble in interviews) Denzel Washington Orlando Bloom Michael Bublé The bridge experiment is just an example of classical conditioning. Men naturally get scared when they see an attractive woman, so they associate fear with attraction. When they find themselves scared in the prescence of a woman, they are conditioning causes them to be attracted.

Hooking Up Smart : Duke Gets It Wrong Again, Invites Injustice

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 04:46:09 +0000

In this case, I was referring to anger against the people responsible for Duke's policy. In more general terms, I'm angry at feminists who promote women's welfare at the expense of all other values.

Hooking Up Smart : Duke Gets It Wrong Again, Invites Injustice

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 03:52:17 +0000

Your use of the word "dickish" is problamatic because 1) it's sexist (what makes a penis inherantly obnoxious?) and 2) it's trivializing (people generally use that word to describe minor offenses, like poor tipping). It's a serious problem when women can't walk to class without worrying about getting her butt slapped. And just because women sex offenders don't always get due contempt, doesn't mean we should be light on male offenders.

Hooking Up Smart : Duke Gets It Wrong Again, Invites Injustice

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 03:42:32 +0000

What do you do, when you read news like this that makes you so angry? Do mellow in in it, let the anger ruin your day? Do you ignore it, and try to pretend like it didn't happen? Do you try and see things from a different view? "Maybe if I were a woman this news would make me feel safe." I mean, it's not like I'm anti-feminism. I know that misogyny and rape culture are still a problem. Part of me wants to gets involved in the feminist movement, even if that just means wearing a TiWaFLL shirt and writing the occassional letter to the editor. But...I can't help but feel angry towards feminists sometimes (a lot of the time). For example, I was going to take women's studies course, but then a female professor (with an Obama sticker!) explained how hateful some of instructors were. And I quit reading Feministing because the editors are so vicious and single-minded. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it hurts. It's wierd to feeling angry and sympathetic at the same, and I don't what to do with these feelings.

Hooking Up Smart : Duke Gets It Wrong Again, Invites Injustice

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 02:50:33 +0000

Please don't try and defend him. He is a clear-cut case of sexual harassment.

Hooking Up Smart : Will We Import Japan's Peculiar Sexuality?

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 02:38:11 +0000

OK Cupid published a study of how racism affects romantic choices: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2009/10/05/your... If you think your dating life is tough, try being a black woman. While men tend to far less racist than women, EVERY RACE of men discriminates against black women. That includes black men. It doesn't help that black women have to compete for a small pool of eligable black men. (There's something like 9 black women available for every 8 black men...since so many black men are in prison. And if that black woman is in college, the ratio is twice as bad.) So yeah, it's good to be white.

Hooking Up Smart : Will We Import Japan's Peculiar Sexuality?

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 20:54:24 +0000

I'd love to see what a Japenese blogger thinks of American sexuality. Interestingly, Japan has the most masculine culture in the world, according to the Geert-Hofstede model. If the model is accurate (which it might not be), American's are only about 2/3 as masculine as the Japanese. http://www.clearlycultural.com/geert-hofstede-cul...

Hooking Up Smart : Sign Me Up for Male Studies

Fri, 9 Apr 2010 21:04:13 +0000

Likewise, discrimination against men does nothing to help women. The sexist belief that men ought to have lots of sex has caused many a female heartbreak. And societies mockery of stay-at-home dad's means that a woman wil find it difficult to keep a full time career after having a child. We don't need a "battle of the sexes". Sexism is everyone's problem.

Hooking Up Smart : Sign Me Up for Male Studies

Fri, 9 Apr 2010 21:04:07 +0000

"Now male studies has arrived on the scene to turn this into yet another battle between the sexes. Grab your armor, because this one’s gonna be bloody" I hate it when people to fighting sexism as a "battle between the sexes." It's as if they think one sex will win at the expense of the other. In reality, sexism against one gender hurts the other. If you call promiscious women "dirty", you call men's sexuality "dirt." If your company refuses to hire women, you cut yourself off from the talents women have to offer. If you don't let women vote, your government will suffer because it loses the female perspective on politics. Look at the countries that don't protect women's rights, and you'll find the men are not exactly prospering.

Hooking Up Smart : The Combustible Mixture of Sex and Alcohol

Sun, 4 Apr 2010 00:06:15 +0000

Yeah I don't think being drunk constitutes consent either. Unfortunately, a lot of men see it otherwise. "Yes" means yes, "no" means no. Being drunk doesn't change the rules.

Hooking Up Smart : The Combustible Mixture of Sex and Alcohol

Sat, 3 Apr 2010 23:14:41 +0000

I agree with Sasha. "Rape" is like "wolf": misuse the word and people stop taking the concept seriously. Sometimes I think I'm the only person who sees both sides of the issue. Yes, rape is a serious problem, and too many women are scared to report it. Too many men think it's acceptable to take a woman by force--it's not. On the other hand, women have to take responsibility for their actions. Saying that drunk sex is rape is patronizing: it denies women's free agency and moral accountability. In every other aspect of the law, drunkenness is not an excuse. "Sorry Officer, I didn't mean to cause a public disturbance. It's Jack Daniels fault!"

Hooking Up Smart : When Female Aggression Turns Deadly

Thu, 1 Apr 2010 01:22:40 +0000

My psychology prof lectured about this: Physically, males are more aggresive. But socially and verbally, females are more aggresive. There's a subtle double-standard here in that schools tend to view physical aggression as a more serious problem than verbal. But make no mistake, girls are just as vicious as boys. "Sticks and stones can hurt my bones, but words will never hurt me." NOT TRUE. Being called a "slut" in high school can hurt a girl as much as getting a black eye can hurt a boy. I'm not a female, but I suspect most girls would rather be bruised than lose the respect of a man they desire.

Hooking Up Smart : How Obamacare Could Change What Turns Women On

Mon, 29 Mar 2010 16:31:42 +0000

You've got a lot of chutpah talking about Obamacare on relationships blog! My God, how did such a great idea go so wrong? We were supposed to get a public option, a universal health care service to whole country. What we got was a few band aids and a thousand payoffs to special interests. (Did you know the bill will make illegal to charge women more for health insurance, even though they cost more to cover. But it's still okay to charge men more car insurance!)

Hooking Up Smart : Only Four Words Stand Between You and the Girl of Your Dreams

Sat, 27 Mar 2010 03:12:04 +0000

I always thought the four words were: "Want to hang out?" Sometimes that's all it takes.

Hooking Up Smart : The Nice Guy Dilemma

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 03:28:04 +0000

"This suggests that women are attuned to generosity, and that altruism serves a purpose in mate selection. If a man is kind and generous towards others – even strangers – then there’s a good chance that he’d make a good and generous parent." Friendliness towards children is one of the easiest ways to impress a woman. Guy who volunteers for Big Brother Big Sister > guy who drives a nice car.

Hooking Up Smart : Divorce American Style

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 19:14:15 +0000

"...in India when people get married they go into it having low expectations of their partners, but over time they grow to appreciate each other more and more. Compare that to America, where you go into marriage thinking that your mate is perfect only to become more and more disappointed by the flaws that begin to appear over time." And that makes all the difference. In India they take personal responsibility for marriage. I do believe it's possible to have an exciting marriage filled with hot sex and fun outings decade after decade...but only if you work at it. The problems come when people expect their partner to provide their happiness. If you're "seasick with contentment," it's probably because you haven't worked on improving your relationship. THE WEDDING IS NOT THE ENDGAME.