IntenseDebate - dameacademyalumna

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 1 reply · +1 points

I think my main reason for feeling that FB is useless is that I genuinely don't care for most posts in there, and when/how/if I get notifications for things like events keeps changing so I don't even bother and just actively look up events and things I want to go to.

My only reason for using it more often these days is that some of my best friends (and some acquaintances whose thoughts I like reading about) now use it as their primary online presence, like a mix of IM and blog. :(

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +3 points

I'm trying to figure out how to be more visibly queer (in my life too but especially online, where I don't want to share my personal life but don't want people to think I'm a weird straight person) too. You have my sympathy and encouragement.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 1 reply · +4 points

I've seriously thought about putting together a guide to FB's various options and settings since so many people are dealing with crappy people on Facebook right now. Amphora's suggestion is good but if that doesn't work for you because of "I only have two weeks to live" posts, here are some other alternatives.

On the sidebar on the main page, there should be a header called "friends". Click on "more" next to it. This will take you to a section where you can make and use lists. You can then put friends whose updates you always want to see on a list, then check it directly to see only their posts. You can also add people to the "acquaintances" list, which keeps them from showing up in your newsfeed as much. I assume that popular posts like "two weeks to live" announcements would still show up.

I hope this helps, and I'm sorry if it doesn't. Navigating FB is always so rough, especially if you don't have somewhere else online to keep up with your friends.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup and Open ... · 0 replies · +34 points

I'm reaaaally unclear on the specifics of your colleague's behaviour.

If they're being inappropriate or offensive to you: that sucks, and I don't know if there's much you can do other than firmly state that you don't believe in it and that while you respect their beliefs, you'd rather that they didn't try to tell what you do based on them.

If they're hurting themselves based on their belief: that also sucks. The first helpful thing you can do is drop the idea that you have to "fix" your colleague. Then you can try to offer them support with whatever it is they're struggling with, and maybe gently ask them questions.

If they're doing neither of the above: sometimes people just have beliefs that you (and I) don't have. It's ok. Life is a rich tapestry. Nod politely, change the subject as soon as you can, and let it go.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 0 replies · +4 points

Whoa, what's the situation here? Is he getting some kind of help? Is he on drugs or meds or something?

I like the idea of offering to take the younger kids out for gardening and activities they might like to give the parents some space to rest and to give the kids a break from all the stress.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 0 replies · +2 points

I have so many roommate horror stories! One of mine was basically like yours -- the shared spaces were incredibly filthy and various things started breaking. It got to the point where I made sure to spend as much time away as possible so I'd only have to use the bathroom in the mornings and evenings, and that I was living on supermarket salad and breakfast cereal because I didn't have the heart to try to sort out the kitchen. It wasn't just the grossness but one of the toilets being broken and the other one being full of encrusted urine on the seat.

The worst part is that I assumed it was a new roommate and talked to old one about this (they were from the same country and there was a language barrier, so I asked if he could discuss this with the new roommate). I even resorted to leaving post-it notes like "please keep the sink clean" because we were never home at the same time and I was at a loss for what else to do.

When I finally broke down and moved out, I found out that the new roommate was moving out too for exactly the same reasons. I even overheard him breaking out crying to the landlord, even. It was basically the old roommate all along.

(He'd been mildly gross and annoying from the start but I never expected that he'd be THIS gross and terrible.)

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +7 points

I think Mallory just didn't want to show off and make people feel bad that they're mortal humans and not wizards like her, you know? It would come across badly in an advice column.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 1 reply · +4 points

Do you have a link? I need to witness this glorious account

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 1 reply · +10 points

I think it was confirmed that the archives will still be around but I could be wrong

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +6 points

I saw that "talk to a random Swede" thing a while ago and have been strongly considering calling it for a while now. I'm so glad this is now on The Toast, so that people can of course tell me to not do it and give me at least one good reason why.

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