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5 hours ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 1 reply · +1 points

Well, that went well. You know what would be hilarious in a really messed up way? If Cersei and Jaime’s extra familial activities have always been an open secret, at least among the Lannisters. It seems just as much a “secret” as Renly/Loras is anyway. About the only people on the outs are the peasants, and while they’re no small portion of the population (except maybe in Darry where they’re all dead now) they aren’t an important part of it, in terms of political clout and power. Oh, they could be if they wanted to be, if they got pissed off enough and turned on their superiors, but they’re clearly not there yet.

Cersei’s going to have trouble finding herself a new Hand. I think she should take Kevan’s advice and put Tarly in the job. Why Tarly? Because Hands don’t seem to last long and I want that puss maggot dead. And then Sam won’t have to worry about what his dad will think about him becoming a maester. See? That all works out so nicely. :D

But seriously, who is she going to pick? I’m sure there are plenty who would be honored to have the job, despite its high mortality rate, but if Tyrell’s putting it around that he expects to get it who will go up against him? The Freys are out of the question, because who wants one of them planning the banquets, so another Lannister seems the best pick, but who? I have no idea.

Cersei thinks LF is up at the Vale being Lord Protector and doesn’t have any other designs of his own, hm? Now there’s the real threat and she probably won’t even realize it until she wakes up to find him slitting her throat, figuratively (or literally) speaking. How long until she hears rumors of LF’s “daughter” and she starts to connect the dots? Maybe if Lysa hadn’t been so hellbent on being isolationist, the rumors might have spread past the Vale already, but we’ve seen how slow news travels from that part of the kingdom so it’ll probably be awhile before Cersei gets a whiff of what’s really going on up there.


Lady Graceford - wants to name her baby Tywin
Lady Taena Merryweather - has influence in the Free Cities, promises to bring back Tyrion
Rugen - the missing gaoler

5 hours ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 2 replies · +1 points

She gets back to her chambers and is hoping for some rest when Qyburn turns up to tell her that he’s been down in the dungeons and discovered that the missing gaoler had a hidey-hole under his chamber pot where Qyburn just so happened to find a golden coin of Highgarden. He gives it to Cersei, who tells him not to mention this to anyone else. That’s an awfully convenient piece of incriminating evidence there. I'm suspicious.

He then goes on to tell her that Gregor is even worse. (Yay!) The poison Oberyn used is a common one, but “thickened” somehow to linger longer in the blood before doing in its victim. He doesn’t know what else to do to lessen Gregor’s pain, but Cersei figures that Ilyn Payne can figure that out rather quickly. Qyburn begs leave to keep Gregor alive a little longer. If he can figure out the poison, it would be a great weapon. Cersei finally thinks to ask why his maester’s chain was taken away and Qyburn assures her it was no big deal, just a little dissection on LIVING PEOPLE hence why he knows so much more about life and death than all those other maesters who only played with cadavers. Cersei decides this sounds like just the kind of guy to keep around the place and near her son and allows him to move Gregor to the dungeons where his constant screams of agony won’t bother anyone, so long as he keeps this all on the downlow. =/ Um…Cersei, he’s either going to start making zombies or Frankenstein monsters or start producing weaponized snake venom and none of these options are good things. JSYK.

Ser Kevan arrives at sunset, and after dinner Cersei gets right down to business, asking him to be the next Hand. Kevan says that Mace Tyrell is younger to which Cersei says the Tyrells overreach. Kevan admits her that making Tyrell Hand would be foolish, but so would making him an enemy. He suggests two of Tyrell’s bannermen who could serve as Hand instead - and thus Cersei would have the chance to pull their loyalty away from Tyrell and to the Lannisters alone. Kevan mentions the various reasons why he’s hesitant to be Hand - and he does have a lot of legit reasons to turn it down - but finally says he’ll accept - so long as he is named regent as well and Cersei packs herself off to Casterly Rock where she belongs and gets a new husband.

The conversation devolves into name calling and hair pulling, with Cersei refusing to be parted from her son (and her place as Regent) and Kevan pointing out that if Cersei really believed Jaime to be a fool like she’s now claiming that makes her just as bad for asking Jaime to be Hand first. Kevan calls her an unfit mother considering how Joff turned out and gets a face full of wine for the trouble. (He’s not wrong though.) Kevan points out he may not have any lands or titles but he’s still got lots of gold and men who are loyal to him, then tells her to do whatever she wants with the Hand job for all he cares.

“You would abandon Tommen.”

“Tommen has his mother. … Aye,” he added softly, after a pause, “and his father too, I think.”


5 hours ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 3 replies · +1 points

Cersei has an awkward moment with Lancel and asks why he isn’t off to Darry yet to start seeing to his household there. He tells her there are still outlaws living there. She asks about his pending nuptials, and he confirms he’s to marry a Frey. Why anyone would want to marry into that family anymore is beyond me. Just don’t have the reception at the Twins, I suppose, and you should be okay-ish. Lancel almost spills the beans and says he loves her, but Cersei cuts him off and avoids that public display of scandal at least. Cersei regrets knighting and bedding him but what can she do now except hurry him out of KL as quickly as possible and hope he doesn't blab any secrets. She suggests he can atone for his sins through silent prayer and waltzes away.

Lady Graceford also wants to name her baby after Tywin if it’s a boy or Lanna if it’s a girl, which Cersei consents to. Lady Merryweather though has a lot of influence in the Free Cities and promises that if Tyrion lands there, they’ll capture him and bring him back. Cersei decides she’s an ally worth keeping and promises to speak with her again soon.

She then runs into Mace Tyrell, who hints about wanting to be the next Hand. Cersei figures he’d be needed back home but Mace assures her Willas has it all under control. He mentions his uncle Garth and his sons are on their way, as Garth will be the next master of coin and his sons given positions in the City Watch. Cersei is less than pleased to hear that the city will be overrun with yet more Tyrells and makes up on the spot that she already named Lord Gyles master of coin and that Mace better send word to Oldtown to turn Garth back before he can board ship. No point in risking the turbulent seas this time of year if he doesn’t need to. Really, she’s only thinking of him. Mace starts to argue but the wonderful Lady Olenna shows up to smooth things over and who really wants Lord Garth up here stinking up with joint with his gas attacks anyway - although Glyes’s cough attacks probably won’t be that much better. Cersei says how unfortunate it is that Olenna’s been kept away from home for so long, but Olenna says she won’t be returning until Margaery is wed. (If you plan on killing off Tommen too, we’re going to have words, missy!)

Cersei finally has enough socializing and goes to leave, asking for Gyles to join her in the litter, where she offers him the job of master of coin and makes sure he understands the offer is effective yesterday. Gyles says he has people he can put into some of the other positions that go with the office and continues to hack up a lung. Cersei figures if he does fall over and croak, she’ll just get a new master of coin or call Littlefinger back from the Vale. Seems the lords up there are getting restless with him anyway, after Lady Arryn’s death, if Pycelle is to be believed. (None of these messages he’s getting mention that he arrived with a young maid with auburn hair, hm? I guess LF is controlling what messages go in and out of the Vale. Interesting.)


5 hours ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 4 replies · +1 points

Chapter 7 - Cersei

“If the gods could weep, they would have wept for your brother.”

I prefer to take that as a sign that the gods do occasionally have the sense they gave themselves.

You know what this chapter reminds me of? The funeral of Princess Diana. I got up at one or two in the morning to watch it broadcast live from England and watched those poor boys pretending not to be sad at their own mother’s funeral because they were expected to have that stiff upper lip. It pissed me off - and made me extremely grateful I don’t have to put up with royal expectations.

Poor Tommen. Cersei thinks less of him because he dares to express an emotion about his grandfather being dead. And because he doesn’t argue when she tells him to do things. Like not crying. No wonder Joffrey was so messed up with mixed signal parenting like that. And he was a sociopath, so there's that. Still, Cersei didn't do anything to rein those tendencies in. I had hopes that Tommen being ignored by his mom was keeping him from veering down a bad path, but I guess those hopes are over. =/ Joff’s dead, Myrcella’s in Dorne and Tommen is all she has left. Well, that and ambition.

The funeral is long, stuffy and smelly. Cersei tries to convince herself that the rain is keeping the people away, even as she acknowledges that her father had never needed anyone’s love or admiration. She remembers her father once cowing some of his men with a single glare, and then gets upset that his corpse has a half-smile on his lips - which is a silly look for Tywin, I must admit. At least he’s not holding his arms out for hugs, JD-style. :D

Cersei looks around at those in attendance while the High Septon - appointed by her dear brother Tyrion - drones on and on. Lancel is off his sickbed but still looks like he’s got one foot in the grave. Cersei wonders how he can live while her father’s dead. Lord Gyles is hacking up a long, Pycelle’s possibly asleep, and the Tyrells all make a showing. She wonders if Margaery shares more with Loras than just looks and studies Margaery’s maids, wondering if any of them can be coaxed into giving her an inside information.

After the ceremony, Cersei and Tommen make the rounds of the “mourners." It’s tedious but Cersei manages to not be too mean until Lady Falyse requests permission on her mother’s behalf to name her sister’s bastard child after Tywin. Why her mom thought that’d be a good idea is beyond me. Cersei could have been nicer in her response. I especially take issue with her asserting that any woman can “get herself raped” like it’s somehow her fault a mob of angry peasants - who were pissed off about Joffrey’s treatment of them, no less - pulled her off her horse and gang raped her.


15 hours ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 5 replies · +4 points

GF reads A Feast For Crows, Book Four of A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin

Last week ended with Ch 6 here.
This week: Chapters 7, 8, 9

Trigger Warnings: All of them, including but not limited to death, violence, war, incest, rape, child endangerment, torture, epic douchebaggery, misogyny. Basically, if you can think of it, it's probably there.

17 hours ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 0 replies · +4 points

Dagnabit, you’re slowing me down!

1 day ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 1 reply · +3 points


1 day ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 1 reply · +1 points

Wait. THAT was the after credit scene? That came before the credits on the blu-ray I was watching? LOL. That's wild.

1 day ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 0 replies · +2 points

I will say this was definitely better than Hulk. Certainly more engaging, though not on the level of other Marvel movies. I'd put it down in the bottom three with Ant-Man and Thor: Dark World.

I don't have a whole lot to say about it though. Aside from not being an origin story, this still follows pretty much the same plot points as Hulk did, right down to Liv walking up to him after the big fight scene and Banner going back into hiding.

1 day ago @ - Weekly Shenanigans · 1 reply · +3 points

Well, I was liveblogging but then my internet quit on me. So let me try to recreate it as best I can:

This factory needs serious quality control.

Oh no! Stan Lee got gamma sickness!

Really? Your plan is to look for one white guy in a Brazilian factory? Just cuz it's Brazil doesn't mean there's a shortage of white guys. Don't you have a picture?

Rooftop chase! Someone's been watching Jason Bourne movies.

Although Bourne would've killed these guys in his apartment and saved his dog. IJS.

Do we actually need to see the fitbit display? We can hear it.

White-haired guy must have some connection to Arwen, because he shut down that possible line of inquiry awfully fast. Dad?

How did he get to Guatemala without anyone seeing him?

I love that Hulk always keeps his pants, no matter what. At least these ones are shredded.

Yes, stretchy pants are a good idea for you. So are shoes. You should probably get some of those too.

So he got all the way back to the States without getting flagged once? What?

I guess it would be too on the nose for Stan Lee to own Stanley's. :D

Ok, and now we're back to liveblogging.

Arwen's dating Phil Dunphy. What?

"DAD!" Called it!

Ok, but that soldier dude got loaded up with the green juice, so that kick isn't actually going to put him down, right?

Oh for the love of Phil. I mean, clearly she's not actually dead but geez.

Dude, getting mad at nature is not going to make the storm go away.

You do not reject the purple pants, Bruce Banner! You put those on! :p

You should not be cutting hair with those scissors. Those are the wrong kind of blades.

OMG, watch, you're ruining the mood!

Ok, but...surely as long as it's not angry sex...I mean, most people don't reach a pulse of 200 during sex, so, why not?

"Let's get a cab." Or walk. It's Manhattan. Things really aren't that far apart there.

Liv Tyler yelling though, LOL. <3

There are an awful lot of shirtless guys in this movie, and none of them are particularly good-looking or well-built. This is upsetting to me, for shallow reasons. Not that I care if there are shirtless guys, but if you're going to make me look at them, at least make it worth my while. I don't think that's asking too much.

"No wait, there's more!" Call now and you can get two Hulks for the price of one (plus shipping and handling).

Ok, I was feeding the cats and getting dinner started through most of this action sequence, but I'm sure it was all very thrilling. Of course it was. I'm making spaghetti squash. ;)

Just stay in the helicopter, Arwen. There is literally nothing you can do to help.

So you can't blow up or shoot a hulk but you could choke one to death. Interesting.

Why are you telling him to stop?

Y'all, just let Arwen handle the guy. Stop showing up and scaring him off. It's like they never learn.

Hi, Tony! FF>> What? No end of credits scene? Well, I'm glad I fast forwarded then.