236 comments posted · 1 followers · following 1

369 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Deleted Comments Of Th... · 0 replies · +29 points

"...we know for example that Obama’s gun confiscation is a fact hidden within Obamacare."
I believe he's referring to the clause in the ACA that provides coverage for ER visits requiring the removal, and subsequent confiscation, of your gun should you "accidentally" fall on it and get it lodged in your rectum. Silly gun humper.

*eels not covered

369 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Reagan Drug Czar Says ... · 1 reply · +17 points

If smoking pot made you gay I'd be freakin Martina Navratilova by now.

369 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Nine Easy Halloween Co... · 0 replies · +19 points

I'm going as Joni Ernst. Hedge clippers in one hand, pig balls in the other.

369 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Reagan Drug Czar Says ... · 1 reply · +17 points

Rick Alien Praying Mantis-man Scott has such a vacant look in his eyes it's almost like he's high on something all the time. Really, he has shark's eyes "You know the thing about a shark, he's got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in and rip you to pieces." Kinda like that.

369 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Conservative Nutjob De... · 2 replies · +16 points

Just don't mention the guy with the funny mustache and penchant for Wagner and you'll be OK

369 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Outbreak Of Stupid In ... · 0 replies · +15 points

“Every outbreak novel or zombie movie you see starts with somebody from the government sitting in front of a panel like this saying there’s nothing to worry about.”
By this logic the best way to deal with Ebola is to drop an ACME anvil on it's head from the top of a cliff as it comes around the hairpin turn below. meep meep.

369 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Kroger Execs Flee From... · 1 reply · +9 points

Ammen to that.

369 weeks ago @ Wonkette - A Polite Disagreement ... · 0 replies · +13 points

I get compliments from total strangers, men and women alike, on a regular basis and believe me at my age I appreciate the hell out of it! A sincere compliment, stated politely, is appreciated by most people. What I don't like is some guy telling me to "smile". I don't owe you a smile just because you speak to me. I'll smile if I damn well feel like it. Or not.

369 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Bill O'Reilly Will Thr... · 0 replies · +5 points

America seems to be "exceptional" in the same way some of the kids in school were "special".

369 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Bill O'Reilly Will Thr... · 0 replies · +3 points

On the plus side, we rank right up there in religiosity. Oh wait nevermind.