gdp's Comments

Wonkville : Post

Sat, 20 Jun 2015 00:50:34 +0000

Ahoy, C_R_Eature! How ya been, you salty ol' so-and-so? Feel the brachial heart-warming love of your U.S.S. Disqus brothers in arms and arms and arms and arms and arms and arms and arms and arms. (And congrats on the bambinos, by the way – those little buggers are totes adorbs!)

Wonkette : Rick Santorum Hates Americans For Our Erotic Freedoms

Fri, 13 Feb 2015 04:04:06 +0000

In defense of our Erotic Freedoms, I volunteer to sensually rub Coppertone on Lady Libertitty's huddled masses yearning to breathe free.

Wonkette : Sam Brownback Is Playing You With His Shiny Gleaming Anti-Gay Bullsh*t (Again)

Fri, 13 Feb 2015 03:50:59 +0000

Fare, I'd like to express my illegal and improper love for this very well written article by printing it out and sodomizing it gay married-style all over Sam Brownback's granite countertops.

Wonkette : Rand Paul Blames Hillary Clinton For Rise Of ISIS, New Coke, Cancellation Of Happy Endings

Thu, 12 Feb 2015 18:53:13 +0000

Nicely done! I've been waiting for the perfect Clinton/ISIS post to whip a version of that one out, and of course it finally showed up three hours before I even woke up. Fucking time zones...

Wonkette : Scott Walker Way Too Smart To Answer Whether Evolution Is A Thing

Wed, 11 Feb 2015 21:31:19 +0000

It's usually considered smart to punt on Piltdown, man. /Deadspin

Wonkette : John Boehner Mad Enough At Democrat Obstruction To Say A Cuss

Wed, 11 Feb 2015 21:14:15 +0000

Bottoms up, dickhead!

Wonkette : John Boehner Mad Enough At Democrat Obstruction To Say A Cuss

Wed, 11 Feb 2015 21:14:03 +0000

Two Girls, One Cuss

Wonkette : John Boehner Mad Enough At Democrat Obstruction To Say A Cuss

Wed, 11 Feb 2015 20:51:11 +0000

In his defense, it's not uncommon for inappropriate words to occasionally slip out when one's goddamn ass is drunk as fucking shit.

Wonkette : Climate Scientists Do Normal Science Thing, Proving Global Warming A Total Hoax

Wed, 11 Feb 2015 20:22:35 +0000

I tried that trick once in second grade and ended up with a third degree burn on my asshole.

Wonkette : Whoopsie! Nebraska Gun Humpers Accidentally Recognize Gay Marriage

Wed, 4 Feb 2015 19:14:27 +0000

Does this mean that the gheys will now need a concealed carry permit to keep their dicks in their pants?

Wonkette : Aaron Schock Might Get Gayest Ethics Violation Ever

Wed, 4 Feb 2015 18:23:34 +0000

As a former interior designer, and current vintage furniture dealer, I concur. Everyone in the industry knows that if you want to score a tasteful ottoman, you hit up the Salvation Army.

Wonkette : Introducing The Weekend Stock Photo Report, A Video Thing From Yr Beloved Wonkette

Sun, 1 Feb 2015 17:32:48 +0000

Finally, after the demise of Wonkbot, something to give those Taiwanese animated news recaps a run for their money. 👍😻😸🌟✊🌟👲👌

Wonkette : Oh No We Sexualized Elizabeth Warren All Over Your Chest!

Sun, 1 Feb 2015 17:27:38 +0000

Are you moonlighting at the Black Lodge now, Mom? (Say "howdy" to BOB for me!)

Wonkette : The Snake Oil Bulletin: You Want To Read About 'The Amazing Randi,' The Greatest Woo-Fighter

Sun, 1 Feb 2015 17:19:00 +0000

FACT.

Wonkette : The Snake Oil Bulletin: You Want To Read About 'The Amazing Randi,' The Greatest Woo-Fighter

Sun, 1 Feb 2015 17:14:53 +0000

Thank you for the great profile of my childhood (and adulthood) hero, Fare! (I'm talking about The Amazing Randi, not Gwyneth Paltrow's steamed vagina.) The NY Times did a nice piece on him and his partner, artist José Alvarez, a couple months ago. And at the risk of this sounding like the self-important setup to a bad joke: Shortly before he gave that talk featured above, I had the honor of sharing a quick breakfast with him at a standing table in the conference hall cafeteria. Also at the table: J.J. Abrams and...Tony Robbins! Really! The amazingly small Mr. Randi didn't say much, though with the steely side-eye he gave the giant Robbins – who's built like a mattress and wears mom jeans – every time he opened his gaping maw, he didn't really need to. (Abrams was on the phone almost the entire time, because Hollywood.)

Wonkette : Sarah Palin Yo, She Is Classy As Fuc

Mon, 26 Jan 2015 16:30:16 +0000

Wonkette : The Idiot's Guide To Gun Storage

Sat, 24 Jan 2015 18:32:48 +0000

It appears that what's really needed is an "Idiot's Guide to Child Storage".

Wonkette : Here Is A Jimmy Carter Caption Contest, For Your Weekend Amusement!

Sat, 24 Jan 2015 01:22:55 +0000

NOT PICTURED: Walter Mondale in Prince T-shirt. #SoftAndWet

Wonkette : Watch President Obama Insult America By Talking To Regular People Instead Of Chuck Todd

Sat, 24 Jan 2015 00:19:44 +0000

As my deportable used to say: "Algunos días usted es la piñata, y otros días usted es la entrepierna."

Wonkette : Watch President Obama Insult America By Talking To Regular People Instead Of Chuck Todd

Sat, 24 Jan 2015 00:14:01 +0000

Here, handsome, take my sock...