gdp's Comments

Wonkette : A Nation Of Finks: Your William S. Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer 2014

Thu, 27 Nov 2014 16:29:14 +0000

Well. I suppose I'm thankful that it isn't worse than it already is, but mustering any kind of optimism about the way things have gone the last few weeks just makes me think of Candide (fuck Pollyanna and that newskool bullshit. KEEP IT REAL), and his dogged insistence that we are living in the best of all possible worlds. It must be so, because thinking otherwise is just too hard to bear. If I'm thankful for anything, it's that I have someone in my life who loves me, with whom I hope to build a future someday, and that we are both far far away from those godforsaken places that make up the ugly, bitter remnants of the place I used to think of as my home.

Wonkette : With Kentucky Decision, Nation Running Dangerously Low On States Without Marriage Equality

Wed, 2 Jul 2014 07:14:08 +0000

John Oliver raised a question I've been pondering myself for a while now: which state is going to go down in history as the last? Which state, after courts strike down all the other amendments and laws, is going to be the last one in the union with this particular form of bigotry still on its books? Which state is going to win the dubious honor of being the least progressive state on this issue, for all the rest of history? I look forward to reminding whichever state it ends up being of this distinction at every opportunity.

Wonkette : GOP Decides It's Getting Too Many Votes

Fri, 18 Apr 2014 11:50:57 +0000

I don't see the part where he suffers any negative consequences for this klepto-capitalist bullshit.

Wonkette : Brave Oregon GOP Heroes Firehosed Out Of Venue Just For Raffling Off Rifle In Honor Of MLK

Tue, 21 Jan 2014 03:05:29 +0000

Real talk for a second. Uh, you do realize that a lot of the black militant groups in the 60s -- particularly the Black Panthers -- were formed specifically to agitate against republican policies at the time that were disarming them, right? Like, Huey Newton was on the steps of the statehouse in Sacramento, brandishing weapons and talking about Reagan's NRA-written laws that would have denied guns to black people, leaving them defenseless against armed white supremacists. This gun raffle is of course totally racist, but let's not pretend that there is no connection at all between guns and movements against white oppression of the black community.

Wonkette : What Do You Get Your Mommyblog For Your Tenth Anniversary? A Brief History Of The Last Year And Chan

Fri, 3 Jan 2014 20:22:29 +0000

Holy crap, happy tin anniversary, wonkers! The very first comment of mine I can find is three years old, but I *know* that's just because that's how far back the craptastic new comments system goes back. Anyway, the point is, I'm glad you guys are gradually acquiring the musty patina of resepctable institutions, also. Can we play a celebratory edition of Fuck, Marry, Kill with the 2014 candidates?

Wonkette : Why Is Liz Warren Yelling At Bank Regulators Today? (Video)

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 06:13:37 +0000

ohgod, she can "oversight" my "manifest financial malfeasance" with a stern lecture any time she wants. HOTT. But seriously, though, she is all kinds of awesome. I really hope she makes a name for herself.

Wonkette : Sad Bro Just Wants His Meat, Shy Girls, Sperms

Sun, 2 Dec 2012 18:01:52 +0000

Holy shit, you *so* need to poach Lindy West. Her tear-down of late-stage Gallagher shows for The Stranger fucking *killed* it. I have had a raging internet boner for her ever since.

Wonkette : Wholesome American Guts: Your William S. Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer 2012

Thu, 22 Nov 2012 15:59:15 +0000

The YooToobe video is blocked in Germany because GEMA eats a bag of dicks. Here's the vimeo copy for people who don't abide that bullshit: http://vimeo.com/32820037

Wonkette : Sundays With The Christianists: This 'World History' Textbook Is The Opiate Of The Homeschooled Mass

Mon, 5 Nov 2012 01:05:56 +0000

Wait, there's been sexing in the comments? Shit, I'm missing out! You guys, srsly: I'm lonely and have low self-esteem, so I'll do whatever degrading thing you want! Just say the word!

Wonkette : BREAKING: Assange Eludes Extradition, Flees To Ecuador In Elaborate Masquerade

Fri, 24 Aug 2012 00:40:18 +0000

As noted below, he's not charged with anything. Just "sought for questioning" in a matter that was closed the last time he was questioned about it, but then re-opened in a district not of the original jurisdiction, but which *happens to be* the district housing the airport through which the "extraordinary rendition" flights passed through Sweden on their way to Torturestan. Also, why the US somehow felt the need to note that it did not consider his asylum request legitimate, and did not consider itself bound by the relevant treaty, should give one pause. As should the British government's suggestion that they might consider storming a sovereign embassy to seize a non-UK citizen not charged with any crimes.

Wonkette : Head DEA Agent Sticking To Story: Jazz Drugs Will Make You Rape White Women Or Something (Video)

Thu, 21 Jun 2012 13:45:52 +0000

There's a nice article over on boingboing about all the insane logic that goes into UK drug policy, so it's not just the US: http://boingboing.net/2012/06/20/drugs-without-th... (it's the same argument: "It's illegal because it's harmful. Since all illegal drugs are harmful, it's harmful because it's illegal." ) Yay for eternal war!

Wonkette : Why I Am Challenging Jonah Goldberg To A Fight For Charity, By Jamie Kilstein

Sat, 2 Jun 2012 21:59:41 +0000

I … think I may have an imaginary internet crush on Jamie Kilstein.

Wonkette : Massachusetts Democrats Working Overtime To Lose Massachusetts For Elizabeth Warren

Thu, 10 May 2012 18:01:01 +0000

sigh. I have such a crush on Elizabeth Warren. Her sitting down on The Daily Show those couple times and talking about the CFPB gave me raging love for her level-headed pragmatist populism. But like The Atlantic said in one of their bullshit "history of the near future, told from the absurdly exaggerated middle future" stories, "Republicans can't govern, but Democrats can't win." Republicans are accusing the left of trying to destroy America with Socialism and Sharia Law (??), and the Democratic response is some Droopy-Dog whining about campaign videos? Some days I long for the logic of the Bartlett campaign: your opponents all see you as arrogant elitists, so you might as well play the part and mop the floor with them. Dismiss them as the dingbat idiots they are, and you might light a fire under your constituency.

Wonkette : Oh No France Is Socialist Again

Mon, 7 May 2012 14:09:11 +0000

Huzzah! My French flatmate - who was working yesterday helping with the election - was practically giddy. Here's to watching Merkel lose her mind, and maybe the managed decline we euphamize as "austerity" finally going down in socialist flames.

Wonkette : Raise Less Corn, More Hell

Tue, 1 May 2012 17:57:44 +0000

Obscenity is less offensive than racism, so never hold back from calling a racist-ass motherfucker a racist-ass motherfucker. This goes double for family gatherings. I learned that shit from Andrew Ti over at "Yo, is This Racist?" Happy Day of Unrest, y'all. Don't suffer to let the joint fall from your lips as you tell the pigs to kiss your ass.

Wonkette : Idiot Orange County Vice Principal Gets Reamed For Yanking Pro-Gay-Marriage Kid From Beauty Contest

Thu, 5 Apr 2012 22:50:42 +0000

HuffPo sold out. All the cool intellectual snobs hang out on Al Jazeera these days. PS, Wonkette, why aren't you blogging AJ? Those guys are the most insufferable latter-day socialists ever, but they have bitchin' global news coverage.

Wonkette : Serial Watermelon Murderer and Rightwing Paranoiac Gallagher Has Heart Attack Again

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 19:32:19 +0000

holy shit. I had to stop eating reading that, because I kept laugh-choking. Also, I had no idea Lindy was of the female persuasion. Now all those boners I got reading the Gallagher article aren't so confusing.

Wonkette : Congratulations, Everyone: America Now A Country That Requires ‘UN Monitoring’ To Function

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 16:47:43 +0000

I like the part where a commentor on the linked page advocates the death penalty for any gang member convicted of any crime. Ken Layne, can I come out to your desert commune to get away from the crazy?

Wonkette : Cee Lo Invite To Obama Fundraiser Proves Obama Hates Women, Gays, Decency

Sun, 18 Mar 2012 17:52:52 +0000

Cee Lo is X-Rated? I don't think that term means what you think it does. A 12-year-old getting viciously sodomized by a rabid pit-bull. That's x-rated. The internet has made me dead inside :(

Wonkette : Game Faces, People: It's Time To Send Mitt Romney Birthday Messages

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 14:52:30 +0000

Boooo! Where is the genius that beset the "I am ____ the _______" website with inhoerent hilarity and ended up getting the whole stupid thing shut down? I AM DISAPPOINT.