gdp's Comments

elephant journal: Yoga, Sustainability, Politics, Spirituality. : Sometimes it's Good to Feel Bad. ~ Kristin Olson

Sun, 1 Apr 2012 16:11:05 +0000

Yes, it can feel good to feel bad. Mostly, it is a matter of "heart intelligence"—a knowing that comes more from the essential self. The heart feels relief when personal truth is realized. Facing what is, before moving toward improvement, is the first step of improvement. We must start where we are. Clients of mine normally make two major mistakes in the whole deal. Getting stuck at what is (without moving forward), or trying to leap too far from now, to a big improvement in one giant step. ("I'm too evolved to get angry or hurt." Yeah, OK.) Heart intelligence (I know what is appropriate here, and feels true for me, based on WHO I am, regardless of what others are saying) is different from ego-based, cognitive feeling choice ("I can empathize because I know what my ego would feel like in your situation"). The former can yield decisions aligned with those of empathy or logic, or run against either one. The latter follows cognitive priorities placed on values and beliefs, and for feeling personality types, prioritizes feelings/values over material outcomes. Now, that said, there ARE personality types that will tend to enjoy a good wallow in some heavy ego-based feeling states, because it feels purposeful and like they are anchored in SOMETHING—and some of these folks can build a whole self image around drama at the ego level. My introduction excludes this type of enjoyment of "depth" (quotes intentional, because the depth in this case, is an illusion). BTW, research on catharsis is flawed, IMHO, because it does not take INTENT into consideration. Taking a cathartic action with the intent of release of anger, and of moving up the emotional scale, is not only effective, but powerful. Taking a cathartic action with no deliberate intent, or thinking of the thing that made you angry in the first place, can intensify it. Of course, not all catharis is created equal, and some are less, well, costly, than others, LOL. For example, doing some "journaling with a purpose" or some cognitive self-therapy with pen and pad can prove out as just effective a catharsis as hitting a punching bag, or throwing a public temper tantrum, with far less embarrassment, and/or remorse later on. :) And tears? I'm of the mind/heart that tears and laughter provide a similar relief of emotional resistance—what is most appropriate and effective will depend on conditions and the individual. The release of tears has a biological effect on the brain. There are complex biological reactions that take place when we cry. The tears of anger or hurt are chemically different from the tears that regularly lubricate our eyes, or cleanse them when something gets in our eye.

Inspire Me Today : Inspire Me Today - Mark Petruzzi

Tue, 25 Oct 2011 14:20:27 +0000

Maggie, thank you! You bring up a GREAT point. Even though we know better, it is very easy to get off our own internal balance, and pay too much attention to consensus views of ourselves and reality. That's why I advocate that we all set up some kind of easily visible reminder... or one that we can carry with us, to remind us to pause, breath, take stock, and ask a handful of important questions that could change the game for us right in the moment. I am speaking about that pause and those kinds of questions at Fairfield University next month. ;)

Inspire Me Today : Inspire Me Today - Mark Petruzzi

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 22:24:44 +0000

Hi Linda, I like your feisty approach! :) Of course, when we feel confident from the inside out, and grounded, and we are feeling-forward with expectations for positive interaction, it's rare that we'd feel defensive or find ourselves needing to lash back. Further, there are times that, coming from self-value, we'll put the needs of others before our own, because in doing so, we are pursuing our "highest interest." That said, it appears as though you're letting us know that you value yourself enough to make your own path and stay the course, regardless of what detractors might say or do with respect to you. Personally, I find that there IS a healthy kind of selfish: when I am pursuing what I love and desires that are aligned with me, I am benefiting others, and so even though the choice may start with me, ultimately I'm tapping into what works better for everyone... :)

Inspire Me Today : Inspire Me Today - Paul Hoffman

Sat, 20 Aug 2011 11:32:15 +0000

Hi Paul, We must be brothers from different mothers, LOL. Loved your whole "500," but am going to zero in on your quote, which says a lot in a few words. I believe that not only must a dream be already inside us for us to dream it, but when we are going for our highest joy in our dreams, we are automatically aligned with our purpose, too. If we follow our highest joy in every choice, we don't need to look around or question why we're here, for the seed of our value is contained in what inspires desire and joy in us. When we go for that, we automatically serve others as well, and fulfill our potential. "The path you are on is the perfect place for you to be and there is no thing that can block or hinder your light. It is each of our duty to show up and share all of who we are. When we begin to see life as a discovering of new ideas then new ideas will come forth." Yes, discovering new ideas, and discovering more of what inspires us, and thus expands us.... All the best, Mark My 500 Words

Inspire Me Today : Inspire Me Today - Kristin Robertson

Tue, 19 Jul 2011 11:11:19 +0000

Hi Corinna, I would suggest that no matter who you are, or where you are, or where you go, you have unique value that you can deliver to others. Life coaching is only one way to do that, and in today's world of amazing technology, you can life-coach from anywhere (for example, I have clients that I coach via Skype). Of course, life-coaching is only but one choice of many that you might find to be an interesting way of both experiencing more of, and delivering on the promise of, the kind of thinking in Kristen's 500 Words, and the responses here. :-) So whether you stay in Montana, or leave, whether you life-coach or do something else, you have value to deliver. Just pay attention to your "inner compass": gather information about what interests you; explore work possibilities that excite you; have more conversations; always reach for a better feeling thought; follow your excitement in each moment... Best of luck to you!

Inspire Me Today : Inspire Me Today - Kristin Robertson

Sun, 17 Jul 2011 14:49:19 +0000

Don, This might sound a bit strange, but my wide-angle lens includes the view that, without ALL of what has happened to me, I wouldn't have the awareness level that enables me look back and say, "Ugh, if I could do that again, I would choose differently! In other words, I like to move beyond forgiveness (a wonderful first step) to an awareness that can (after the healing) include appreciation for that which contributed to my new awareness. Going "beyond forgiveness" can include forgiveness, and even make it easier. This doesn't mean that I would repeat many uncomfortable things in my life. I often mention to my workshop participants and clients, that while I would not want to repeat some of the things I've gone through, I also wouldn't want to trade the awareness I've "won" as a result.:) I trust that my awareness is forever expanding, and one day might include looking back on this post, and chuckling at its shallowness and incompleteness, but hopefully that new awareness will also include appreciation for my attempt, and partial success, at this bit of self-expression! :) Best, -MKP My 500 Words

Inspire Me Today : Inspire Me Today - Kristin Robertson

Sun, 17 Jul 2011 11:03:36 +0000

Hi Kristen, I enjoyed reading your thoughts on chaos. I especially liked the the last two paragraphs, as they describe a similar view to what I've come around to. I think of chaos as a simply a level of order that my mere human mind is as yet unable to comprehend, or apprehend. So, whenever I consider chaos, I trust that it is actually the laws of the universe working in ways that are assisting in new systems, and new creations. In the chaos in front of me, I may not perceive any order that makes sense to me, but if I relax into it, I might perceive a direction of energy or intent as to outcome that make sense to me In fact, I might even perceive my part in the creating the chaos! ;) As you pointed out, chaos seems always to birth some kind of improvement or new direction. ~MKP

Inspire Me Today : Inspire Me Today - Leah Larson

Sat, 9 Jul 2011 12:12:46 +0000

Brilliant! You go, Leah! Yours is an example not only for children, but for anyone who dreams, and even those who may have forgot how. Thank you for your uplifting story. Thanks to Gail, too, (Hi Gail!) for bringing it to my screen this morning. :) I've shared it with friend and family. Wishing you continued success, Leah... Mark

Inspire Me Today : Inspire Me Today - Bob Doyle

Thu, 6 Jan 2011 11:43:07 +0000

Well put, Bob. There is one bit, though, where I may have a slightly different view. It's that part where you talk about the universe responding to our emotions and beliefs "running at an unconscious level." In my experience, any belief or emotion affecting my reality is completely available consciously, as long as I am earnestly wanting to explore it, or shine a light on it. Therefore I refer to these beliefs as "less-conscious" or "un-acknowleged," but resist the labeling them "unconscious" as they then these beliefs might seem out of reach, or more mysterious than they are. In my coaching and workshops, I often suggest that beliefs and emotions that are working in an undesirable way "behind the scenes" in the "less-conscious" are like something in the basement of your house that stinks. You have full access to that basement, and if you go down there with a flashlight, and follow your nose, you'll find what you're looking for. Sometimes you might want to take someone along who can help you find, and deal with what's bugging you in your "basement." Most of us have a pretty good idea of generally what's in our "basements", but can't list exactly everything without going down and taking a careful look. But that doesn't mean we can't, we just often don't. :) I enjoyed reading your 500 words! —Mark

Inspire Me Today : Inspire Me Today - The Spirit of 2011

Sat, 1 Jan 2011 13:27:59 +0000

Happy New Year, Gail! Wishing you prosperity and joy in 2011.

Inspire Me Today : Inspire Me Today - Nicholas Ogden

Sun, 19 Dec 2010 12:09:54 +0000

Hi Nicholas, I really like what you've done with a topic that is sometimes challenging to write or speak about, since the knowing of it is in the experiencing of it. :) Mental models differ as to what things like "authenticity" and "inner voice" are, yet you've framed these ideas in a way that I feel will have broad appeal—at least I like them! And yes, regardless of outside appearances, once you know what it is like living life from the inside out, it is the only way to go... -Mark LifeAligned WordVibes! InspireMeToday 500 Words

Inspire Me Today : Inspire Me Today - Koda, The Wonder Dog

Wed, 24 Nov 2010 12:15:11 +0000

Hi Gail, Hope you are well! This was a great idea! :) Peace...

Inspire Me Today : Inspire Me Today - Patricia Varley

Sat, 16 Oct 2010 13:55:50 +0000

Patricia, I enjoyed reading your post! I approach my own work and life from a similar if not same perspective, and enjoy sharing that inside-out approach with others. It's a real uplift to an read of another life and business coach delivering a message of this depth and centeredness, while acknowledging (with such sobriety!) the daily challenges we all face in returning to center again and again. :) One day we'll hit a tipping point on the appropriateness and effectiveness of this overall way of thinking and living every day life and (hopefully, especially) business. Until then, and ever after, best to you, and thanks for the uplift! -Mark LifeAligned WordVibes! Twitter

Beyond Growth : The Logic of Evil in Personal Development

Wed, 13 Oct 2010 21:06:29 +0000

Duff, Thanks for the additional clarification, and you are correct that I was not suggesting that folks take abuses from authority figures based on the suggestion that the abuse is justified in any way. However, explanation of my experience is separate from justification or rationalization of the teacher's choices. In other words, my reality is my reality, the teacher's reality is his or her reality, and I want to understand why *I* invite something into my reality, regardless of the negative or positive behaviors of the guru. Therefore, I may get angry at a teacher for wronging me, and even take some appropriate and corrective action (from my perspective), but after checking in with myself, I will want to understand how I participated in the interaction that made me angry. What was important to me? What were my expectations? How much authority did I invest? What were the habitual thoughts or beliefs that drove my choices that brought me in front of this fake who now disappoints me? These are much more important questions in my reality, than if the teacher's behavior was "wrong" or "right"; "good" or "evil" and I would submit that if more folks asked questions like these about their experiences, there would be fewer teachers of dubious worth and action enjoying success. Best to you...

Beyond Growth : The Logic of Evil in Personal Development

Tue, 12 Oct 2010 01:42:58 +0000

Hi Duff, As I read through your post, I can't help but ask, what is important to me here? Personally, I feel I am accountable for everything I do, think, and feel. I might notice that I react negatively to something another says, does, or writes. This is most likely because of a belief I adopted before the incident, that now generates the thoughts that generate my emotional response. I am accountable for buying into the belief in the first place, while the person who spoke, acted or wrote is accountable for what he or she did, and their response to my emotional reaction. I might inadvertently "insult" someone. I am then accountable for my slip-up, and how I react (am I empathetic? am I callous? am I apologetic?), but regardless of MY accountability, the person I insulted is still accountable for THEIR emotions. So, congruency is one thing important to me. In the case of someone shirking their self-accountability (as in your Durden example), I can't support that. I find it uncomfortable to even think about consciously participating in another person's conscious or unconscious difficulty, regardless of their level of awareness of what is happening. On the other hand, I can support a positive, heartfelt examination of accountability on all sides of any "win" or "fail" or 'in-between." So, while I am not sure of what leads one into an "abuse of power" (I suspect a disconnection from Self, and an addiction to others giving up their authority would come high on the list), I also know that anyone who is duped by one so disconnected, is himself, or herself, also disconnected. It is why I challenge all my clients to use my own woo woo test questions on me. I don't WANT anyone giving away their authority to me! Much of my work is about folks taking BACK their authority. You and I have talked about this sort of thing before. If I were one who enjoyed declaratives and absolutes I would sum it up this way: every spiritual/metaphysical/coach/speaker ought to remind themselves every day that their goal in life is to put themselves out of business. To help others uplift and grow until folks like us aren't needed. Let's keep it honest. ;)

Inspire Me Today : Inspire Me Today - Mark Petruzzi

Thu, 30 Sep 2010 20:37:22 +0000

millizzamia, Thank you for writing. You raise a great point! Two things come to mind for me:

Some personality types are more prone to valuing the beliefs and feelings and needs of others over their own. Jungian "F-types" and Enneagram 2s come to mind first for me. These mental habit can lead to a creeping sense of lower self-value. You are not likely to come from a strong, valued place, if you are always placing the other person before yourself. A healthy attitude might go something like this, "Sometimes my needs come first; sometimes last; often somewhere in the middle. What's important to me here?"
We ALL need to practice all the time, and I find I'm re-reading my very own words and those of others who I find inspiring—often—to keep focused, present, practicing. The "point of perception" that believes it has "arrived" is one that is a probably a bit deluded and disconnected from source. When we are feeling connected to self and source, we know that there is no end to our journey, and we enjoy that journey and the new challenges and celebrations it offers us.

Stay well, and thank you again for contributing!

Inspire Me Today : Inspire Me Today - Mark Petruzzi

Thu, 23 Sep 2010 10:29:05 +0000

Kali, thank you for letting me know! If you liked what you read here, you can find more at http://www.lifealigned.org and http://www.wordvibes.com.

Inspire Me Today : Inspire Me Today - Mark Petruzzi

Thu, 23 Sep 2010 10:27:34 +0000

Nicole, Thanks for sharing a bit of your story here. It sounds like you are enjoying a personal breakthrough, and it's uplifting for me to hear that my words are of some value to you you in an encouraging way. I wish you the best, and from what I see of your approach, the best is coming your way. :)

Inspire Me Today : Inspire Me Today - Mark Petruzzi

Thu, 23 Sep 2010 10:18:40 +0000

readerro... you were there with my original posting as well! That link is here: http://www.inspiremetoday.com/archiveDisp.php?typ... ...so your comments were not lost. Thanks for weighing in here again!

Inspire Me Today : Inspire Me Today - Mark Petruzzi

Thu, 23 Sep 2010 10:16:02 +0000

leeannstory, thank you! I appreciate that you see it as "no nonsense," because that is how I feel about it. :)