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442 weeks ago @ elephant journal: Yoga... - Sometimes it's Good to... · 1 reply · +2 points

Yes, it can feel good to feel bad.

Mostly, it is a matter of "heart intelligence"—a knowing that comes more from the essential self. The heart feels relief when personal truth is realized. Facing what is, before moving toward improvement, is the first step of improvement. We must start where we are. Clients of mine normally make two major mistakes in the whole deal. Getting stuck at what is (without moving forward), or trying to leap too far from now, to a big improvement in one giant step. ("I'm too evolved to get angry or hurt." Yeah, OK.)

Heart intelligence (I know what is appropriate here, and feels true for me, based on WHO I am, regardless of what others are saying) is different from ego-based, cognitive feeling choice ("I can empathize because I know what my ego would feel like in your situation"). The former can yield decisions aligned with those of empathy or logic, or run against either one. The latter follows cognitive priorities placed on values and beliefs, and for feeling personality types, prioritizes feelings/values over material outcomes.

Now, that said, there ARE personality types that will tend to enjoy a good wallow in some heavy ego-based feeling states, because it feels purposeful and like they are anchored in SOMETHING—and some of these folks can build a whole self image around drama at the ego level. My introduction excludes this type of enjoyment of "depth" (quotes intentional, because the depth in this case, is an illusion).

BTW, research on catharsis is flawed, IMHO, because it does not take INTENT into consideration. Taking a cathartic action with the intent of release of anger, and of moving up the emotional scale, is not only effective, but powerful. Taking a cathartic action with no deliberate intent, or thinking of the thing that made you angry in the first place, can intensify it. Of course, not all catharis is created equal, and some are less, well, costly, than others, LOL.

For example, doing some "journaling with a purpose" or some cognitive self-therapy with pen and pad can prove out as just effective a catharsis as hitting a punching bag, or throwing a public temper tantrum, with far less embarrassment, and/or remorse later on. :)

And tears? I'm of the mind/heart that tears and laughter provide a similar relief of emotional resistance—what is most appropriate and effective will depend on conditions and the individual. The release of tears has a biological effect on the brain. There are complex biological reactions that take place when we cry. The tears of anger or hurt are chemically different from the tears that regularly lubricate our eyes, or cleanse them when something gets in our eye.

465 weeks ago @ Inspire Me Today - Inspire Me Today - Mar... · 0 replies · +1 points

Maggie, thank you! You bring up a GREAT point. Even though we know better, it is very easy to get off our own internal balance, and pay too much attention to consensus views of ourselves and reality. That's why I advocate that we all set up some kind of easily visible reminder... or one that we can carry with us, to remind us to pause, breath, take stock, and ask a handful of important questions that could change the game for us right in the moment. I am speaking about that pause and those kinds of questions at Fairfield University next month. ;)

465 weeks ago @ Inspire Me Today - Inspire Me Today - Mar... · 0 replies · +1 points

Hi Linda,

I like your feisty approach! :) Of course, when we feel confident from the inside out, and grounded, and we are feeling-forward with expectations for positive interaction, it's rare that we'd feel defensive or find ourselves needing to lash back. Further, there are times that, coming from self-value, we'll put the needs of others before our own, because in doing so, we are pursuing our "highest interest."

That said, it appears as though you're letting us know that you value yourself enough to make your own path and stay the course, regardless of what detractors might say or do with respect to you.

Personally, I find that there IS a healthy kind of selfish: when I am pursuing what I love and desires that are aligned with me, I am benefiting others, and so even though the choice may start with me, ultimately I'm tapping into what works better for everyone... :)

474 weeks ago @ Inspire Me Today - Inspire Me Today - Pau... · 0 replies · +1 points

Hi Paul,

We must be brothers from different mothers, LOL. Loved your whole "500," but am going to zero in on your quote, which says a lot in a few words.

I believe that not only must a dream be already inside us for us to dream it, but when we are going for our highest joy in our dreams, we are automatically aligned with our purpose, too.

If we follow our highest joy in every choice, we don't need to look around or question why we're here, for the seed of our value is contained in what inspires desire and joy in us. When we go for that, we automatically serve others as well, and fulfill our potential.

"The path you are on is the perfect place for you to be and there is no thing that can block or hinder your light. It is each of our duty to show up and share all of who we are. When we begin to see life as a discovering of new ideas then new ideas will come forth."

Yes, discovering new ideas, and discovering more of what inspires us, and thus expands us....

All the best,

My 500 Words

479 weeks ago @ Inspire Me Today - Inspire Me Today - Kri... · 0 replies · +1 points

Hi Corinna,

I would suggest that no matter who you are, or where you are, or where you go, you have unique value that you can deliver to others. Life coaching is only one way to do that, and in today's world of amazing technology, you can life-coach from anywhere (for example, I have clients that I coach via Skype).

Of course, life-coaching is only but one choice of many that you might find to be an interesting way of both experiencing more of, and delivering on the promise of, the kind of thinking in Kristen's 500 Words, and the responses here. :-)

So whether you stay in Montana, or leave, whether you life-coach or do something else, you have value to deliver. Just pay attention to your "inner compass": gather information about what interests you; explore work possibilities that excite you; have more conversations; always reach for a better feeling thought; follow your excitement in each moment...

Best of luck to you!

479 weeks ago @ Inspire Me Today - Inspire Me Today - Kri... · 0 replies · +2 points


This might sound a bit strange, but my wide-angle lens includes the view that, without ALL of what has happened to me, I wouldn't have the awareness level that enables me look back and say, "Ugh, if I could do that again, I would choose differently!

In other words, I like to move beyond forgiveness (a wonderful first step) to an awareness that can (after the healing) include appreciation for that which contributed to my new awareness. Going "beyond forgiveness" can include forgiveness, and even make it easier.

This doesn't mean that I would repeat many uncomfortable things in my life. I often mention to my workshop participants and clients, that while I would not want to repeat some of the things I've gone through, I also wouldn't want to trade the awareness I've "won" as a result.:)

I trust that my awareness is forever expanding, and one day might include looking back on this post, and chuckling at its shallowness and incompleteness, but hopefully that new awareness will also include appreciation for my attempt, and partial success, at this bit of self-expression! :)


My 500 Words

479 weeks ago @ Inspire Me Today - Inspire Me Today - Kri... · 2 replies · +2 points

Hi Kristen,

I enjoyed reading your thoughts on chaos. I especially liked the the last two paragraphs, as they describe a similar view to what I've come around to.

I think of chaos as a simply a level of order that my mere human mind is as yet unable to comprehend, or apprehend.

So, whenever I consider chaos, I trust that it is actually the laws of the universe working in ways that are assisting in new systems, and new creations. In the chaos in front of me, I may not perceive any order that makes sense to me, but if I relax into it, I might perceive a direction of energy or intent as to outcome that make sense to me In fact, I might even perceive my part in the creating the chaos! ;)

As you pointed out, chaos seems always to birth some kind of improvement or new direction.


480 weeks ago @ Inspire Me Today - Inspire Me Today - Lea... · 0 replies · +1 points

Brilliant! You go, Leah!

Yours is an example not only for children, but for anyone who dreams, and even those who may have forgot how.

Thank you for your uplifting story.

Thanks to Gail, too, (Hi Gail!) for bringing it to my screen this morning. :) I've shared it with friend and family.

Wishing you continued success, Leah...


506 weeks ago @ Inspire Me Today - Inspire Me Today - Bob... · 0 replies · +1 points

Well put, Bob. There is one bit, though, where I may have a slightly different view. It's that part where you talk about the universe responding to our emotions and beliefs "running at an unconscious level."

In my experience, any belief or emotion affecting my reality is completely available consciously, as long as I am earnestly wanting to explore it, or shine a light on it. Therefore I refer to these beliefs as "less-conscious" or "un-acknowleged," but resist the labeling them "unconscious" as they then these beliefs might seem out of reach, or more mysterious than they are.

In my coaching and workshops, I often suggest that beliefs and emotions that are working in an undesirable way "behind the scenes" in the "less-conscious" are like something in the basement of your house that stinks. You have full access to that basement, and if you go down there with a flashlight, and follow your nose, you'll find what you're looking for.

Sometimes you might want to take someone along who can help you find, and deal with what's bugging you in your "basement." Most of us have a pretty good idea of generally what's in our "basements", but can't list exactly everything without going down and taking a careful look. But that doesn't mean we can't, we just often don't. :)

I enjoyed reading your 500 words!


507 weeks ago @ Inspire Me Today - Inspire Me Today - The... · 0 replies · +2 points

Happy New Year, Gail! Wishing you prosperity and joy in 2011.