en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/767505 Comments by Dekontee01 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment70021364 First of all seeing this video was just so sad to me. My sister was the same when she was a child. She always choose the white dolls in comparison to the black dolls and I am obviously a black girl and so is my sister and me and my parents never really realized why she was always trying to play with the white dolls and would always throw the black dolls away and get mad at my parents if they got her a black doll and would refuse to play with the doll if it were not a white doll. Seeing the thing in class just made me think that it is terrible that young kids only think that white is pretty whether they are white or black and that is sad. The dolls looked exactly the same from their features to there outfit to the style of there hair and everything and the kids only wanted to play with the doll that was white. I couldnt believe that but that is what society does to people and for that to be a kid at such a young age thinking that white is better than black is very depressing. Society puts this thing on people that says lighter skin is beautiful and darker skin is less attractive and it sucks to think that is what young kids believe because that is not true. Fri, 23 Apr 2010 23:41:27 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment70021364 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/300000-whats-it-mean-to-us__trashed/#IDComment70020894 All people are not the same. there are some people who are diagnosed with clinical depression because they feed into all the mishaps in the world. people dying, killing each other etc. lets not forget all the natural disasters that are occurring all over the worlds. It seem abnormal for someone to be so concerned about what is going on in the world today to the point they are depressed. Most people are only concerned when it effects he/she directly. If your mother/father/sister/brother/aunt/grandfather, etc were killed in Iraq or the world trade center bombing, your reaction would be different. it is okay to feel sad for a while and thoughts of it happening to you, one of your family members or friends will occur but there is only so much time you can spend thinking about people you do not know. I experienced this same feeling when the earthquake happened in Haiti or seeing documentaries about the genocide in Dalfur. I could not really understand if I was just being selfish or just plain ignorant. Thoughts of my people in my country of birth ( Liberia) suddenly rushed into my head. and i start thinking "what about my people in Liberia?" We have been recovering from a 14 year war and a corrupt political system, why are people not sending us money? And what are these funds to Haiti are receiving doing for them? thoughts kept going..running through my head. I could not shake this feeling of complete ignorance. i felt sorry for Haiti, being that they were the poorest country in the world, and now to add insult to injury they have to rebuild their country all over again. It bothered me, but not to the same extent as it would if my country was in the same position. When you loose somebody you are close to , a part of your life is missing. you must go everyday without seeing that person and feel a sense of resentment. otherwise..we do not care. Thats the real problem. If something isn't effecting us, we are far more likely to not care about it as much as we should. I think that when we hear about 300,000 people dieing and compare that to the 3,000 that died on September 11, we really need to consider the extent of this crisis. If a crisis like what happened in Haiti, happened in New York City, how different would it be. The entire state, and everyone who has relatives that live in New York would be working to help, because it effects them. People from other states would help because it is fellow Americans, but not to the extent that people who are personally by the tragedy would. Fri, 23 Apr 2010 23:37:28 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/300000-whats-it-mean-to-us__trashed/#IDComment70020894 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment70016222 As human beings we are all born with the innate nature to be empathetic. Just like the prisoner explained in the introduction of his paper: 'it wasn’t something that I didn’t already know; I just didn’t realize that I knew it. Nor was it something that I didn’t already do; I just didn’t realize how natural it was for me to do it." Society does a good job at ignoring empathy to the extent that it is not valued. I am sure as a prisoner, he is trying to change his life around for the better. it is quite apparent that he is accepting of his fate now. I mean, what else is one to do when you are confined to the four walls of a jail cell. it is sad to hear stories like this. I feel resentment and apologetic at the same time. I feel resentment mainly because he killed another person and with that being said, if given enough freedom i think he would do so again. People like him are not mentally stable and are dangerous to society. On the other hand, I feel sad because we all deserve a second chance, but will giving him a second chance result in another dead body? Fri, 23 Apr 2010 23:00:55 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment70016222 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/i-really-want-to-know-also__trashed/#IDComment68291815 It is who you are darling! You are still ignorant to the world and issues happening in the world. Nobody said you must change your daily lifestyle and go around advocating for slaves. He is just telling you these things to introduce you to social issues. You are missing the whole point of taking this class..What do you want to walk out of Soc 119 an expert of race and relations? Seriously the late drop period has passed and you claim you are not learning anything important and it is a waste of time... uumm okay so here is a thought..Why did you not drop the class? The school presented you two chances to drop the class. But somehow you chose to sit in the classroom and say negative things. Like who does that? You probably so caught up with your own culture, you do not see the essence of learning about others. Sam is teaching us, forcing us to think outside the box, make us immune to what is going on in the world! I urge you to stop being ignorant..It well get you nowhere in life. Fri, 16 Apr 2010 00:03:41 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/i-really-want-to-know-also__trashed/#IDComment68291815 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/what-about-the-men__trashed/#IDComment68290066 Believe it or not, males experience the same emotions females do! You see men trying to be everything their favorite bodybuilder is. They exercise excessively and lift weights as if their life depends on it! They go on protein diets, drink those powder drinks to suppress their appetite. People like this guy from Jersey shore..Mike "The situation” he is set on his physical appearance. Not only him, but the other guys in the house have the same mindset! They spend hours doing their hair in the mirror and i have not stood next to them but I believe if I do they will smell as if they poured a bottle of cologne on their body. So yeah, guys get carried away with the whole self image thing. Thu, 15 Apr 2010 23:45:29 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/what-about-the-men__trashed/#IDComment68290066 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/women__trashed/#IDComment68288430 Yes! she could not have said this any better. I think girls who are taken away by society's definition of beauty need to reevaluate theirselves. Something is seriously wrong with their conception of beauty. They forget to understand that people in Hollywood have money! Plenty of money, enough to fix their imperfections. there are numerous Hollywood starts who do cosmetic surgery to add on/take away hips, buttocks, excess fat around the stomach, etc. on a normal day they will look like the average Joe or 10x worst! As women and or human beings we must embrace the skin we are in, fat, skinny, short, tall, muscular,etc. That is why I do not understand how people who have eating disorders do it! They must accept who they are because you can change it regardless of how many operations you undergo! Take Heidi Montag for example, I see her as a perfectly beautiful Caucasian girl. She has perfect hair, a nice smile, body, etc. Now she has undergone so much surgery I would barely recognize her in a public place. Upon first seeing the video clip of her interview explaining what cosmetic surgery she got, I had to pinch myself. I could not believe this girl, who looks very much self confident have done this to herself. I asked myself why? I would like to ask her why? I am sure Spencer ( her husband) loves her just the way she is mainly because he married her. Like seriously 10 procedures in one day? How crazy can u be? For me personally, I know there are some things I can work on in terms of improving my body image, but at the same time I know obtaining a body type of an extremely hot Hollywood star is not possible. Firstly, stars can afford that lifestyle. As a result, they are able to keep up their image. I do not have thousands or millions of dollars to spend I have enough confidence within myself. This world will never change people worry about unnecessary things like body image. What happened to just being healthy? I think that is what is most important, being a healthy person. Society has something to say about everything that goes on in the world. But where did this stuff come from? Who said? who said we must be perfect in every sense? I like the play that was acted out Tuesday's class. if was very enlightening to be taught the information in another way besides reading power point slides. Well, it was more of an example of what Sam discussed prior to the play. But I was perplexed, why would the girl want a breast reduction. People with small breasts are dying to get an enlargement! Males love breast! But it I guess we are not the same, and do not hold the same opinions. Thu, 15 Apr 2010 23:29:23 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/women__trashed/#IDComment68288430 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/what-if-we-got-rid-of-welfare__trashed/#IDComment66964837 If there was no welfare available all the lazy people who find an excuse not to get up and go to work would be forced to make ends meet or else live on the street. I think welfare should only be given to certain people for a limited time. For examplle young females who have babies and are enrolled in school, etc. people who actually NEED assistence should be given cash. It is not fair that taxes should be taken out of my check to provide lazy people with money. It makes no sense, sometimes I do not understand this country and their methods of finding soultions to problems. In order for the discontinuation of welfare to take place jobs must be found for people who are capable of working. young people should be urged to attend school, any school whether it is a tech, trade, or 2year, or university. instead of giving them pocket money and money fo food require that they attend school and pay for childcare. that would be much better. the requirements should be limited. The government is just taking money out of our pockets for lazy people, who had the choice to make a better life for themselves but did not. Do not be comfortable on government assistence. Sat, 10 Apr 2010 06:12:27 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/what-if-we-got-rid-of-welfare__trashed/#IDComment66964837 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment65599496 Wow! What a lovely topic for me to express my thoughts on this week! I must admit as a dark-skinned black girl I was so amazed when I seen this video. I mean for these children to choose the white doll over the black doll was astonishing to me! I guess I was so shocked by the responses because I never really sat down and thought about a child's view on race. By no means do I think these children understood their remarks they were saying. Because when each participant were asked "why do you like that one" their response was "because this one is white". the most crazy part was at 4:27, when the little already identified the black doll as bad and she was asked "which one looks like you" she hesitated, because she reached for the white doll first ( the good doll).and later pushed the black doll forward. the look on her face was shameful because in instance she was saying she is bad. I think she was alittle confused after that and unfortunately she was unable to comprehend what exactly was going on. I wonder if I was there at the time, what my choice would have been. Its funny because in Africa, where I am from we have the same negative views about African Americans they are seen as loud, ghetto, unreasonable, uncultured, etc. Movies portray African Americans to be this way too, but it is concealed by comedy. We tend not to pay attention to it but stereotypes exists in movies. For example in the movie Rush Hour, Chris Tucker was lazy, talkative, loud and a screw up. so it is things like that on main stream media that was constantly forcing these views upon the audience. We later find ourselves believing these things, turning them into our own beliefs. And I do see these difference between my Black American friends and I. Some things I value, or traditions that I follow do not apply to them. For instance seeing your friend to the door upon their departure, having respect for your elders, bending one knee to greet older people, etc. I am saying these things and it does not mean that African Americans do not have their own views on Africans. That is another discussion for another time. Going back to this topic about the white dolls being favored. Children watch Disney movies and all they see are white princesses for example Snow white, Cinderella, Beauty from Beauty and the Beast, etc. that is why these children feel the white dolls are prettier, or nicer because they constantly see their favorite princess on television looking similar to the white dolls placed before them. Fri, 2 Apr 2010 19:59:11 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment65599496 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/nothing-about-the-census-is-easy__trashed/#IDComment65593655 This whole census thing is ridiculous.what is this whole thing about labeling people in society. Like Sam would say "we are al lgoing to die anyways" why are the people complaining giving themselves a headache. The researchers are saying that older Black people identify with the term "Nergo" and until all those people die and the later generations who do not like to use the term over rule nothing will change. The researchers are only respecting the wishes of the majority and they elders. Look if these people have directly been effected by slavery and identify with the label "nergo" why should there be any complains? Everybody can not be pleased. Fri, 2 Apr 2010 19:28:26 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/nothing-about-the-census-is-easy__trashed/#IDComment65593655 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/the-white-minorities__trashed/#IDComment65586724 I think this is awake up call for racist white people. I am sure their daughter or son will marry a person of another race, and they will be extremely unhappy. The white race will no longer be consider "majority" or "superior". This will awake some evil spirit within the white race and i hope it will not lead to more white people abusing blacks, taking away our freedom,etc.I pray that this does not happen, besides we have come too far for that to occur. I am sure that minorities in America will not lead and allow for such a thing to happen. But I like this blog entry it gives the cloesd minded people something to think about for future references. Fri, 2 Apr 2010 18:29:42 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/the-white-minorities__trashed/#IDComment65586724 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/in-her-own-words__trashed/#IDComment64114857 I do not understand why Sam would have to have a big discussion about menstruation in the start of class today. Like, seriously what does it matters? His wife talks about it freely, he talks about it freely so why should another female take offense to it? he did not personally point you out and and talk about your menstrual cycle, nor did he prompt you to talk about it to the class. I was not offended and I do not think Sam should have spent the beginning of class defending his remark made the class prior just because one girl said she was offended. its ridiculous, because more important matters concerning class should be the focus. We are females and we all bleed, men know we bleed, it is not a secret. So any insecurities you are hiding about yourself and your" cycle" please keep it to yourself. I do not want to hear Sam continuously justify why he feels the right to discuss periods, or as his wife refers to it "bleeding". Thu, 25 Mar 2010 23:40:53 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/in-her-own-words__trashed/#IDComment64114857 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/native-hawaiians-ever-think-of-them__trashed/#IDComment64113119 Wow, well isn't this interesting another story of a country taken over and controlled by White Americans. This story sounds quite similar to that of the native Americans. What is it about these early either Europeans exploring the world thinking and taking over peoples land? they act as if these native people do not exist, better yet they just simply do not care. What is it about the color of their skin or that they think they are so much better than others. the people of Hawaii deserve better treatment, a good government, etc. i remember hearing a guy speak about the country's problems before. he stated how a majority of their land it used by the United States army , as a training base. where stray bullets are shot into the air. it is sad how their independence as a country was stolen from them and now they must suffer in their own land. there are many factors that must be taken into consideration as the article states, but i think that these people should establish their own government and go far away from America's selfish, discriminative ruling power. Thu, 25 Mar 2010 23:23:51 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/native-hawaiians-ever-think-of-them__trashed/#IDComment64113119 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/whats-the-big-deal-with-periods__trashed/#IDComment64108607 Okay so it is quite obvious that everybody is buzzing about Sam's comment in class on Tuesday. I mean I can understand how females feel, because I am a female. The conversation about menstruation is sorta kinda like bringing up the topic of sex in the classroom. I mean we all do it, but people tend to be conservative when the topic is brought up. Personally I am a conservative person, I have always been as a child and I think it is due to the environment I grew up in. My mother have never openly talked to me about sex, no one in my family have. As a adolescent when i first started my "cycle" I did not tell my mother. I did not know how to tell her. I have always observed older people ( females) as I was growing up and took notes mentally. as a result of my observations, I was prepared when I first got my period. Prior to getting it I already knew what it was, how often it occurred,etc because some of my friends in school were already "bleeding". My mother found out one day while i was sitting on her bed and she asked me "whats that on you panties" I remember my whole head becoming hot! I was embarrassed. she asked me when did it start and I answered accordingly. She yelled and criticized me for not telling her. Calling me secretive and dumb. Afterward, she warned me to let her know when it comes on every month and told me that if I need pads I should tell her. I do not think people should get upset/offended if Sam decides to talk about his wife's "Cycle" . I mean, if she does not care why should we? It does not register to me. Although it was shocking for him to take poll of how many females in the class was on their period, if he feels confident enough to talk about it, why should the women freak out!. he is a male for crying out loud and the only reason we do not discuss this topic openly is because we are afraid of the response we will get from others ( males to be specific). because anything pertaining to blood and females they do not want to be bothered with it. they do not understand what it means, how it feels, they just view it as nasty. We are viewed as a walking "kottie queen". but in all actuality we are experiencing something normal, a natural bodily function. I remember talking on the phone with my ex-boyfriend while on my way to walmart to get some pads. because it just so happen that my period started that morning. So he asks me what am I going to Walmart for. Me thinking in my head okay he is a 25 year old Male, and we dated before I will just tell him. I responsed "for pads". and he started saying "ewww, dont you ever tell me something like that agian. that is just disgusting." and I was like " oookkkaaayyy, you are crazy" .So for Sam to actually say that out loud without thinking twice about offending females there should not be a problem. He is cool in my book! Thu, 25 Mar 2010 22:43:06 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/whats-the-big-deal-with-periods__trashed/#IDComment64108607 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/fired-for-a-scarf__trashed/#IDComment63088752 these people can not be serious .... how could they be so evil, rude and disrespectful.I do not know how many times i can stress this point..WE ARE ALL HUMAN BEINGS. it only take one jerk to make such a decision. for me an being is a human-being regardless of race, sexual orientation, religious belief, etc. it is not fair and this story breaks my heart to know that something like this still occurs in this day and age. she is capable to do the job a person without a scarf could do. I like my job for the simple fact that is is diverse and the mangers do not discriminate and hire people based on their skin color of religious beliefs. it is sicking and unbelievable. i believe a law suit should be filed and the jerk should be fired. Sat, 20 Mar 2010 02:36:34 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/fired-for-a-scarf__trashed/#IDComment63088752 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/prom-or-no-prom-just-dont-let-the-queer-students-dance-together__trashed/#IDComment63087915 This lesbian/gay topic will occur as often as the subject of black and white. these people are living within our community and come in many different shapes and sizes, colors and personalities. they could be principals, teachers,our uncles, brothers, or lawyer. regardless of their sexual orientation they should be accepted and not be treated as animals or distinct creatures. These things should not be happening in the 21st century. these topics are really giving me a headache because if everybody just focuses on their own lives the world would be such a better place. there will not be drama or no violence, etc. in all be so easy if everybody were open for change. im not asking people to put aside their personal beliefs but try to be open minded or ignore it. there is no need to cancel prom for something simple as a lesbian couple attending. why should the whole school suffer the consequences? Sat, 20 Mar 2010 02:28:49 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/prom-or-no-prom-just-dont-let-the-queer-students-dance-together__trashed/#IDComment63087915 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/does-this-rudeness-thing-cut-both-ways__trashed/#IDComment63086788 I do not understand what this guy is trying to say. Personally, I feel that everybody should be mature about the situation. This whole new texting program is uncalled for. We are college students and I understand that the class is mixed with a combination of all classes (freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors, etc) but regardless we should be mature. People are just going out of control texting stupid responses to a serious question. none of this would happen if people registered and their identity could be tracked, because it is anonymous people are acting like fools. comments such as "I think Sam's wife is hot' "I wanna hit that" are disrespectful and we laugh about it in class but at the end of the day it is downright rude. I do not know whether or not it was black or white, blue, purple, teal people doing it but it is uncalled for. Sam should seriously consider not doing the poll responses anymore. Pertaining to the comment this guy made, I agree rudeness does go both ways in class. Black people can be rude just as white people. When white people make rude comments it just sounds harsh due to the history they have with black people and other races in the country. we feel they have the upper hand to make changes and we (black people) keep thinking that they should change their ways. but they if they keep displaying their ignorant ways it just adds more fuel to the fire. To me it is their own personal opinions and immature behavior. I overlook these comments because to me its just stupidity. I sit down in class just reading these dumb comments and sometimes Im shocked at the responses. Aside from that I really feel the most honest answers will come from anonymous text messages but in reality I wish that was not the case. I wish all people, including myself, had the confidence to say what they felt without any fear in being ridiculed. I think if people were more comfortable with themselves in racial situations then they would have nothing to fear and would speak their mind but a lot of people are inexperienced so they are afraid to speak. There are many people who are not racist at all and have great ideas but are afraid to speak as well which is the worst case scenario. All of us of every race, religion, ethnicity, and skin color are here together in Penn State University, what is referred to as a prestigious school. It shows that no one is superior to another because we are all here in the same place. Outside the school, we might not be equal, but while we are here at Penn State we are one in the same. Believe whatever you want about each other, and use some of the thoughts above as a way to rationalize our stupid behavior. Above all else, remember that we are one in the same here at school. Sat, 20 Mar 2010 02:17:40 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/does-this-rudeness-thing-cut-both-ways__trashed/#IDComment63086788 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/native-americans-question-two__trashed/#IDComment58723736 I agree with him. And I completely understand where he is coming from. To answer the question I say we do not have to take the blame nor should we feel guilty. But due to the fact that we are now exposed to this information something should be done to fix the problem, something that started several years back. We cannot turn back the hands of time, if so I think many people will be happy. The enslavement of Africans would have never existed. So Sam wants us to do something about it, I think we are waayyy to far in to try to clean up the disaster that European Americans have done. As a sociologist Sam study these social issues and if anybody could tell us how to go about it or do something it should be him. Fri, 26 Feb 2010 00:45:04 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/native-americans-question-two__trashed/#IDComment58723736 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/who-could-compete-with-this-woman-on-a-level-playing-field__trashed/#IDComment58722332 Okay, as crazy as this may seem this is not surprising to me. I am African so I sort of understand the struggle she is going through. I do not come from a rich/well to do African family. My grandfather and grandmother have always struggled to make a living. Living in Liberia my grandfather worked as a nurse, my grandmother did not work, instead she would manage the farmland and sell water, kala (an african appetizer) just to bring in extra revenue. I always enjoy hearing my oldest cousin tell me stories about her adventures on the market ground. Regardless of the low wages my grandparents received they managed to send all their children to Catholic School. I mention this story because this is the normal hustle for any native of a third world country. If you do not have an education it does not mean you are dumb, but just street smart. that why I laugh at American when they complain about the simple things in life, its cold outside, my lights got turned off, I cannot pay my cell phone bill. I wish they can switch lives with someone from a third world country living in the village. Try walking everyday to a nearby well to get water to bathe, cook food, drink, or to simply wash your hand. They will learn to appreciate all that they are blessed with. Some parts of my country do not even have electricity but they are still alive and struggling to make a living. So, yes I do give this Haitian woman her props. She is very business orientated and understands that sitting at home and complaining will not bring you a weekly income. She recognized everything that needs to be done and she does it accordingly. Although she did not obtain a college degree does not mean she is not smart and she is dumb. I am sure she has been exposed to many things in this lifetime and has grown strong over the years. She probably made mistakes the first time doing business and took a few pointers from a neighbor. But everybody is not business orientated as the Haitian woman. At home my mother receives phone calls from my uncle living in Ghana for money. She suggested that he start his own business back home by selling water and he agreed to do so. The plan was for my mother to send him a large sum of money to start it off and he collects all the profits. Instead of him doing just that, when he received the money he used it for himself. The only way the family found out was when my aunt returned back to Africa only to see no water/ no market/ no nothing. Someone she knows in the United States could have pitched the idea of selling food to her. And luckily for her, she took their advice and is now making money. It is bad for people to take advantage of others who intentions are only good. That is why business is not for everybody. Only the person who knows what is it to struggle for money can appreciate the outcome and benefits. Fri, 26 Feb 2010 00:32:07 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/who-could-compete-with-this-woman-on-a-level-playing-field__trashed/#IDComment58722332 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/native-americans-question-four__trashed/#IDComment58718911 This is a good question because what can we really do? I mean students and everybody else in America are so concerned about theirselves and family. So many things are going on in this world, and everybody is caught up in their own life. They deal with Issues that surround their family, friends, workplace, etc. There is no time left to think about anything else, (especially not something that took place number of years ago). But Sam mentioned in class today when he did the whole demonstration with students in the class. Like what do you want? Will an apology be good enough? The student did not respond, she did not know what exactly to say, because how sorry fix could anything after all these years. These people hearts have been cold towards Americans for so many years now. Thu, 25 Feb 2010 23:58:37 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/native-americans-question-four__trashed/#IDComment58718911 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/lgbt-class-question-two__trashed/#IDComment57683075 As complex as this question may seem, I do not think it is too hard to figure out. If you have a friendship the line should already be drawn. Yes, Typically you do have sex with somebody you love. but if you have a best friend that you care about and love deeply it is in your mind not to kiss that person or engage in sexual acts with him or her (unless that is what you wanna do) but I know i would never cross the boundary of kissing my friend on the lips intimately. that is why you have a boyfriend/girlfriend for. To me the two relationships are separate you go to your best friend to discuss with him or her things you can not discuss with your boyfriend. yes, you can hug each other, say "I love you to one another" but for me anything going on deeper than that (meaning any sexual activity) is crossing the line for me. and those boundaries should be already set unconsciously in your head, if you you may want to change your sexual preference. Fri, 19 Feb 2010 22:23:39 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/lgbt-class-question-two__trashed/#IDComment57683075