281 comments posted · 5 followers · following 0

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Gabby Giffords Does Th... · 2 replies · +10 points

For your viewing pleasure, here she is:

In the battle of "people who have been shot throwing a ball," I give this one to Gabby. Mostly because any time she does anything, it makes me start bawling like a baby.

11 years ago @ Wonkette - Wisconsin Gov. Scott W... · 2 replies · +9 points

Are there restrictions on shooting females? Or have I just outed myself as gaining all of my hunting knowledge from playing Big Buck Hunter in bars?

11 years ago @ Wonkette - Rep. McKeon: Due Proce... · 1 reply · +39 points

You know what's not perverse in the slightest? Fucking the presumption of innocence in the ass sideways.

11 years ago @ Wonkette - George W. Bush Finally... · 0 replies · +13 points

Not heard by the reporter after the doors closed: "He's the feller who's the quarterback for the Texans, right? Wait..that's Matt Schaub? And I'm a Cowboys fan? Oh well. Heh heh heh."

11 years ago @ Wonkette - 'P-E-N-I-S Goes Into T... · 0 replies · +19 points

If I didn't know any better, I would've sworn she was in one of those Bad Lip Reading videos. This is obviously a case of reality being funnier than fiction.

11 years ago @ Wonkette - Barack Obama Equals Ri... · 1 reply · +16 points

In his defense, that's what the country looked like when he was born.

12 years ago @ Wonkette - All American Ladies Ru... · 0 replies · +12 points

Or an OK Cupid profile.

12 years ago @ Wonkette - All American Ladies Ru... · 8 replies · +17 points

I'm going to cleanse my mind of the stomach-churning image of "Women with Newt" and replace it with "Women with Nutella." Muuuuuuch better.

12 years ago @ Wonkette - A Children's Treasury ... · 0 replies · +24 points

Shouldn't the Dildo Manifesto have been passed out at the Conservative Dating seminar?

12 years ago @ Wonkette - Bill O'Reilly Compares... · 2 replies · +18 points

I must be one of those elitist lesbians. It's the boy's department at Macy's for me.