gdp's Comments

Wonkette : NRA Will Not Lay Down Its Weary Head Until Teenagers Can Buy Guns Everywhere

Fri, 2 Aug 2013 19:42:49 +0000

We all know that if Trayvon Martin had a gun, he would be on death row.

Wonkette : Hero Lawsuit Dude Will Stop Apple From Ramming Porn Down Your Throat

Mon, 15 Jul 2013 23:41:40 +0000

My wife, like wives everywhere, supports internet porn.

Wonkette : The Daily Caller Has Conquered All The Internets, Bow Before The Daily Caller (Update)

Mon, 15 Jul 2013 19:43:36 +0000

They got nothing on Wonkette's 6,339. Of course this is just because I have disabled tracking cookies. Sorry about that.

Wonkette : Man Who Survived Seeing A Lesbian On Food Network Corrects One Noun, Remains Defiantly Butthurt

Thu, 11 Jul 2013 22:31:08 +0000

I can understand wanting to protect your children from immoral influence. I, for example, want to make sure my children are not exposed to hate speech, republicans, or Barney. I can't understand, however, not wanting my children to believe that any of those things do not exist. I tell them about Republicans, haters, and Barney. Face it, hate filled misguided jesusists, gay marriage exists. It is legal in almost 1/3 of the U.S. (by population). It exists, it is never going away, and your beautiful daughter may someday marry my beautiful daughter. And you will still have to pay for the wedding, because I am cheap.

Wonkette : California Lady Prisoners Got A Great Deal On Unauthorized Sterilizations, Weren't Even Pressured To

Thu, 11 Jul 2013 22:14:38 +0000

This is just SOP. My wife (not in prison, yet) got a call from her insurance company informing her that they had approved her for sterilization during a C-Section. Thing is, she never asked for it. I guess they just looked at how much it cost for her to have babies and said, fuck if we're gonna cover this again.

Wonkette : Hillary Clinton Elected President of Running for President in 2016

Mon, 8 Apr 2013 22:41:57 +0000

I have already mailed in my ballot for four more years of Hillary & Patty in 2020. Vote Early. Vote Often.

Wonkette : If You Don’t Sufficiently Hate Gay Marriage We’ll Drop You In Lake Of Fire, Detroit Archbishop B

Mon, 8 Apr 2013 21:11:04 +0000

I was raised Episcopalian. If it weren't for the whole not-believing-in-god thing (and having a wife who doesn't believe), I might go back to church. I do support their moral views. I remember a priest explaining to me, "Son... drugs aren't a sin. It's what you do when you're on drugs that can be a sin."

Wonkette : If You Don’t Sufficiently Hate Gay Marriage We’ll Drop You In Lake Of Fire, Detroit Archbishop B

Mon, 8 Apr 2013 18:16:30 +0000

The pope is only infallible when he speaks ex cathedra. He is still a sinner.

Wonkette : If You Don’t Sufficiently Hate Gay Marriage We’ll Drop You In Lake Of Fire, Detroit Archbishop B

Mon, 8 Apr 2013 18:14:29 +0000

What is really interesting about this position is that the "sin" is not a deed, but a thought. And it is not even an "impure thoughts" kind of talk. It is actually an opinion. Likely many parishioners read the catechism, realize that the logic that says marriage is a sacrament to support procreation is flawed and has always been flawed. That marriage, at least the marriage that is discussed in the marriage ceremony, is about love and commitment. They then come to a different opinion, using the same moral reasoning that the church promotes. So now, how can having a reasoned opinion be a sin? BTW: I'm not catholic, so maybe I miss some nuance. I have studied catholic moral reasoning, and have found that at least they try. Sometimes they miss some critical ideas, however. The most important idea they miss is that SEX is about love, not procreation.

Wonkette : If You Don’t Sufficiently Hate Gay Marriage We’ll Drop You In Lake Of Fire, Detroit Archbishop B

Mon, 8 Apr 2013 17:41:40 +0000

Only if you confess first.

Wonkette : If You Don’t Sufficiently Hate Gay Marriage We’ll Drop You In Lake Of Fire, Detroit Archbishop B

Mon, 8 Apr 2013 17:37:11 +0000

Gay Marriage is not like health care, death penalty, human rights, or concern for the poor. Gay Marriage, you see, is a democrat issue. So when you take a position in opposition to the church that the demonrats support, then we will deny you communion.

Wonkette : Massachusetts School Out-Horribles Everyone By Ensuring Poor Kids Starve, For Freedom

Mon, 8 Apr 2013 17:33:05 +0000

These brave clerks should be given a medal. These children's parents, who failed to pay their bills, should go to debtors prison. Failing that, making their children starve is suitable punishment for these deadbeats. I suggest we extend this. If you fail to pay your taxes on time, you loose your deductions. If you fail to pay the cable bill, then Comcast should come out with icepicks to help you forget the television you saw while freeloading. If you fail to pay the water bill, rather than cut off your water, it should poisoned. We have been too lax for too long. No more. These brave employees took a stand. Now bow down to your corporate masters or your kids will suffer.

Wonkette : Everybody So Mean To John Boehner

Mon, 24 Dec 2012 22:54:30 +0000

It is important to remember that the ENTIRE house gets to vote for who the speaker is going to be. Nancy could offer Boehner a chance to keep his job, for a small price.

Wonkette : Everybody So Mean To John Boehner

Mon, 24 Dec 2012 22:52:23 +0000

Get better voters.

Wonkette : Michigan Lawmakers Want To Let You Own Lions And Tigers, Just As The Founding Fathers Intended

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 19:13:04 +0000

I think tigers and bears would be way better at protecting my weed than alligators.

Wonkette : Scoop! Paul Ryan To Be Next House Speaker, According To Some Secret Random Dude Who Gossiped To Laur

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 19:05:32 +0000

We are in real trouble if Cathy McMorris Rogers, aka Mr Boehner would you like another coffee, aka My Representative gets to be speaker. That would be like replacing Boner with a younger, dumber, version. It may be Paul Ryan, which would be fucking scary. The problem is that, as Nate Silver indicated, that he would have real problems getting anything remotely moderate passed. If the House wants legislation that will be moderate enough to pass the Senate, it will need at least SOME liberal democrats. I don't see Paul Ryan as the one to reach across the aisle.

Wonkette : Iowa Supreme Court Decides It's OK To Fire 'Irresistible' Workers If You Really Really Want To Bone

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 02:13:27 +0000

That could describe anyone who lives in the US. Corn has conquered whole states, and we allow dogs in hospitals.

Wonkette : Please To Put Armed Guards Outside All Pennsylvania Churches Too, Also

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 01:42:30 +0000

Brings new meaning to Skull Fucking.

Wonkette : Iowa Supreme Court Decides It's OK To Fire 'Irresistible' Workers If You Really Really Want To Bone

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 01:30:08 +0000

Wow. Now I'm a little frightened. I have informed my wife (who actually works) that she is no longer allowed to work for married men or married lesbians, unless she goes to work in a Burka.

Wonkette : Please To Put Armed Guards Outside All Pennsylvania Churches Too, Also

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 01:27:27 +0000

Clearly. A Pro-Gun Republican response to the problem would have be to ~~encourage~~ mandate home schooling.