gdp's Comments

Wonkette : The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: We Showed Sarah Palin's Bra, We Guess?

Sun, 4 Jan 2015 23:38:43 +0000

I tried to comment that the article above is not peak Palin, that her diatribe today . I quoted her exact words (that completely deranged paragraph long sentence) and poof, it was deleted by the administrator. I have no idea what I did wrong. Oh wait, she mentioned her alleged youngest and that the little tyke did not eat the dog unlike some presidents she could (and did) name. Okay, I think this might be peak Palin. It is just one enraged and deranged run on sentence: Aren’t you the same anti-beef screamers blogging hate from your comfy leather office chairs, wrapped in your fashionable leather belts above your kickin’ new leather pumps you bought because your celebrity idols (who sport fur and crocodile purses) grinned in a tabloid wearing the exact same Louboutins exiting sleek cowhide covered limo seats on their way to some liberal fundraiser shindig at some sushi bar that features poor dead smelly roe (that I used to strip from our Bristol Bay-caught fish, and in a Dillingham cannery I packed those castoff fish eggs for you while laughing with co-workers about the suckers paying absurdly high prices to party with the throw away parts of our wild seafood)? I believe you call those discarded funky eggs “caviar”.

Wonkette : So You Want To Mommyblog At Yr Wonkette

Sun, 4 Jan 2015 23:23:14 +0000

Every time I buy cat food and cat litter at the same time, the smart part of my brain tugs at my sleeve and whispers that if I stopped buying the one I wouldn't have to buy the other.

Wonkette : NYPD Cops So Sad At Mayor De Blasio They Just Can't Fight Crime Anymore

Tue, 30 Dec 2014 22:42:11 +0000

So... they'll stop assaulting and/or killing people for selling untaxed cigarettes or waiting for family members or walking downstairs or following orders (I demanded ID and he reached into his pocket (for his wallet, dumbfuck) and I was sure he was reaching for a gun), and on and on and on. Boy, that'll teach us, won't it?

Wonkette : Tyrant Obama Makes War On Army Heroes' Christmas Wedding

Tue, 30 Dec 2014 15:20:50 +0000

Aw, memories. I lived on the Kaneohe base for three years in the 1980s. The marines were always so damn proud of getting by with very little in the way of infrastructure and supplies. The commissary (grocery store) was in an old quonset hut and mice nested in the hamburger buns (I bought a pack once and 3/8 buns were hollow except for droppings). The marines, for some stupid ass reason, were proud of their suspicious looking leftover from WWII rations. The Air Force, on the other hand, was known for their lovely amenities, including a very nice modern base exchange (department store) and commissary at Hickam Field. The anecdotal story was that the Air Force, when tasked with building a new base, would build all the nice things first, and then "shit, runways! we forgot the runways!", and trudge back to congress for a few million dollars more.

Wonkette : Tyrant Obama Makes War On Army Heroes' Christmas Wedding

Tue, 30 Dec 2014 15:10:30 +0000

Well, MCB (MCAS in my day) Kaneohe is on the windward side of Oahu which is very pretty and tropical looking. The army bases are all on the leeward (dry) side of the island. Depending on which army base they are stationed at, it might have all the scenic charm of a southern California freeway in August. Dust and scraggly pineapple fields. I would hope that the happy couple had to beg the marines to pretty please let them use the far superior in every way! marine base.

Wonkette : Congressfelon Michael Grimm Realizes God Wants Him To Resign After All

Tue, 30 Dec 2014 14:45:15 +0000

After much thought and prayer, I have made the very difficult decision to step down from Congress effective January 5th, 2015. If only "after much 'thought' and prayer", he had decided not to... commit crimes? Also, can you "step down" if you haven't been sworn in? The events which led to this day did not break my spirit, nor the will of the voters. So, I guess we should plan on you boldly and courageously doing the same damn thing as soon as you are off of probation? The voters, well, they apparently are amoral morons so in that respect, you would have effectively represented them. However, I do not believe that I can continue to be 100% effective in the next Congress You mean what with spending your term in jail or picking up roadside litter? ...it is time for me to start the next chapter of my life. As a convicted felon?

Wonkette : Erick Erickson Is All Growed Up, Not A A**hole Anymore

Tue, 30 Dec 2014 14:26:58 +0000

Good catch! I really like the subjunctive and I didn't notice that he used it correctly. But if he had used was instead of were, I would have noticed and it would have made his whiny tweet even more obnoxious.

Wonkette : Erick Erickson Is All Growed Up, Not A A**hole Anymore

Mon, 29 Dec 2014 19:58:33 +0000

Well, looky what all growed up Erick Assholeson tweeted today: Erick Erickson ✔ @EWErickson BTW, I still maintain that if Obama were a transvestite serial killer, the media would still turn a blind eye, praising his leadership. 10:33 AM - 29 Dec 2014

Wonkette : Erick Erickson Is All Growed Up, Not A A**hole Anymore

Mon, 29 Dec 2014 19:38:12 +0000

Especially since he was wrong.

Wonkette : Erick Erickson Is All Growed Up, Not A A**hole Anymore

Mon, 29 Dec 2014 19:36:16 +0000

If you name your kid Gunnar, it is just exactly the same as if they joined the military, so really there is no need for his precious snowflake to actually join the military. Especially since by then (according to learned military expert Louie Gohmert) it will be overrun by gays lying around getting naked massages before battle.

Wonkette : Erick Erickson Is All Growed Up, Not A A**hole Anymore

Mon, 29 Dec 2014 19:30:57 +0000

How did you do the strike through? --Thank you.

Wonkette : Erick Erickson Is All Growed Up, Not A A**hole Anymore

Mon, 29 Dec 2014 19:28:46 +0000

"He’s so polite, in fact, that he “eats his chicken wings with a fork and knife.” ----------------------------------------------- He’s so stupid, in fact, that he “eats his chicken wings with a fork and knife.” There, fixed it. If your food comes to you as pieces tossed in a cardboard bucket, you don't need utensils to eat it.

Wonkette : Sarah Palin Literally Phones It In To Fox's All American Christmas 'Special'

Wed, 24 Dec 2014 22:24:33 +0000

Only if it is studded with cloves.

Wonkette : Palins Vindicated! (As Stinking-Drunk, Brawling Yahoos, Per Anchorage P.D. Police Report)

Thu, 9 Oct 2014 22:39:50 +0000

The troll comments at Malia's site and Immoral Minority are comical. The morons believe that the police report exonerates the Palins.

Wonkette : The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: General Palin's General Orders

Mon, 6 Oct 2014 19:09:57 +0000

It elbowed its way to the head of the line and hurled itself in.

Wonkette : Wisconsin Militia Will Save Election From Criminal Democrats (And Not Just The Black Ones)

Thu, 25 Sep 2014 17:15:37 +0000

Well, my local is mostly nice middle aged ladies, so I'm not sure what all we could do. We talk sometimes about trying to be more thuggish, but it is a lost cause and boy, does management know it.

Wonkette : Deleted Comments Of The Day: Please Don't Agree With Us Please

Wed, 24 Sep 2014 15:37:48 +0000

The very fact that you can't see them proves how ninja-like they are in their plan to sneak into the country and give Ebola to ISIS. Wait. If ISIS is coming in to destroy us, do we need the Ebola? Because won't it destroy ISIS too? Then the country will be overrun by uh, small children?

Wonkette : Wisconsin Militia Will Save Election From Criminal Democrats (And Not Just The Black Ones)

Wed, 24 Sep 2014 15:24:04 +0000

I can only hope that this fizzles like the bazillion patriot spring march, or the trucker shut down, or the everyone stop in traffic and honk, or the mass militia on the border fuckup (whoopdidoo, they caught themselves some irritable scientists), or the let's show all the black folk in the inner city how to open carry jamboree, or the let's distract the already short-staffed LE at every port and entry point and stop commerce (five, count em five showed up for that one). I'm sure I'm forgetting some of their great ideas. These militia yahoos are chickenshit cowards. It's easy to talk big while jerking off on your facebook machine, but actually rolling off the recliner, rummaging around in your beergut for your 2nd amendment idol and waddling off to the Big One is a whole different story. They are indeed dangerous, as all armed, stupid, dim, vicious, assholes are, but I will be surprised if these pants-wetting chickenshits actually show up in neighborhoods that in their own view, are filled with armed, lawless criminals. They don't want people shooting back at them. Much better to go terrorize the mommies and daddies who are getting their spawn a treat at a fast food restaurant or maybe doing the weekly grocery shopping.

Wonkette : Alaska Pretty Sure Sarah Palin Clan Is Hilarious Fighty Garbage

Tue, 23 Sep 2014 19:56:20 +0000

Any story about the Palins (America's dumbfucks!) should have the word yeehaw in it somewhere.

Wonkette : Alaska Pretty Sure Sarah Palin Clan Is Hilarious Fighty Garbage

Tue, 23 Sep 2014 19:53:41 +0000

Yes, but in a good way. If you are a family of morons with impulse control problems and anger management issues.