gdp's Comments

The Toast : Let's Talk About Our First Internet Memories

Tue, 12 Apr 2016 18:34:33 +0000

I am also quite old, judging by the rest of these responses. My memory of getting the internet (AOL) in circa 1992 was that I didn't know about search engines. So I would just type "horses" or "puppies" or similar 11-year-old rubbish into the address bar. And now that works, but at the time it just gave me an error message. I'm not sure how long it took me to realize I needed to go to yahoo or ask jeeves or whatever, and THEN type in "ponies" I still have a Livejournal somewhere...

The Toast : Link Roundup!

Tue, 12 Apr 2016 16:26:29 +0000

Moderators deserve a public holiday. Last week I was doing this weird work assignment that required reading short answer responses from a survey taken by home school parents. Most of it was totally fine but there were 3 or 4 respondents who kept saying stuff like "I don't want to teach my kid about Hispanics or Islam; we're white", or "School would just teach my kid about evolution and other lies" or (the worst) "Schools spend too much time talking about white people who did bad things, and never bring up Irish slaves or Native Americans who kept slaves. It's a conspiracy"! I was the only person to read these, and they weren't even directed at me, but each one made my blood pressure rise significantly. Moderators are like shock absorbers that make the ride more comfortable for the rest of us in the car; you take all the rough patches and make sure no one else experiences them. All this is a long-winded way to say thank you and omg I don't know how anyone does it all the time.

The Toast : Link Roundup!

Tue, 12 Apr 2016 13:43:23 +0000

Nothing she's written has changed my world or struck me as remarkably good or bad. That's part of why the vitriol is so confusing. She gets it from left and right. I'd be a hermit by now, if I were in her shoes.

The Toast : Link Roundup!

Tue, 12 Apr 2016 13:15:12 +0000

I was going to post that Guardian article if it wasn't here. So interesting. I am always on the Guardian, and am often really disappointed with the quality of the commentariat. There's a weird range of Drudge Report people who come to argue with the liberals, and super snooty pseudo-intellectuals who seriously try to convince you that, e.g., Ian McEwan is in fact a sub-standard writer in the same league as Dan Brown or EL James. And poor Jessica Valenti gets the most abuse I've ever seen hurled at one journalist, and I've never been able to figure out why. And this from a website that clearly cares greatly about creating a good environment for discussion. :( I stick to the Toast now if I want actual beneficial human contact.

The Toast : Friday Open Thread!

Fri, 8 Apr 2016 19:17:52 +0000

There are other extreme choices I'm considering (e.g., Foreign Service job, moving to a new city, becoming a hermit in the woods to finish my YA trilogy), but they will take a long time to come to fruition and I'll have plenty of points during which I can reconsider. But the dog and hair are things I could do this weekend that would affect my life for a while.

The Toast : Friday Open Thread!

Fri, 8 Apr 2016 18:51:29 +0000

I've been applying since July of last year, and still no job. Not in the same field, but in the same boat of 'OMG is this thing on? Am I a ghost no one can see?' Sigh.

The Toast : Friday Open Thread!

Fri, 8 Apr 2016 17:39:10 +0000

I started The Girl on the Train on Sunday, and finished it on Tuesday. I guessed the ending because I watch far too much Law & Order, but it was a good quick read, not too light, not too dark. Now I'm on to Daughter of Fortune by Isabel Allende. My first Allende, and I'm having a bit of trouble getting into it so far. Just going slowly, and I don't have that same feeling of wanting to read it all in one sitting. But it's good, and possibly the first book I've ever read that takes place in Chile.

The Toast : Friday Open Thread!

Fri, 8 Apr 2016 17:15:18 +0000

I just ended a 10 year relationship. I know you're supposed to not make big decisions or do drastic things after stuff like this, but I'm not one to follow the rules. I'm doing drastic things! I've already booked international travel (UK and Iceland) AND scheduled a girl's weekend for my bday (not that drastic, but not particularly within my budget at the moment. I'm going to look at adoptable dogs tomorrow. I'm considering cutting my hair short AND dying it (strawberry blonde). Anyone have good experiences with doing the drastic thing after a major life shakeup?

The Toast : Friday Open Thread!

Fri, 8 Apr 2016 17:12:06 +0000

You can't stay informed and stay sane in this election. No. I was too informed and now I'm burnt out and just avoiding everything election related until January. I'm taking this opportunity to learn more about foreign news stories.

The Toast : Friday Open Thread!

Fri, 8 Apr 2016 16:48:25 +0000

I'm wondering how many jobs you guys apply for in a week. I've been averaging 3 or 4, but I feel like I need to pick up the pace because I've had zero responses. But it's hard to convince myself to put in more time and effort to tasks that are onerous and fruitless thus far. My last interview was January 22nd. Crickets, since then. I've had other things on my mind (moving last month, then promptly ending a 10-year relationship with my boyfriend and realizing we now have to live together for an unspecified number of months until one of us can move out, etc.), but it is starting to be alarming. I just moved to the DC metro and there are WAY more jobs for my skill set here than in Philly, but I think part of the reason I'm getting no response is because there are always other people with actual non-profit or legislative experience, and I have none of that. Wouldn't it be nice to live in an economy where companies were able/willing to give you a shot to prove yourself? I'm feeling a lot of dis-motivating factors right now, making it hard for me to really throw myself into editing my cover letters for the 1000th time in a blind hope of better responses. I've decided to deal with all this by adopting a dog. They're better than antidepressants, for me anyway.

The Toast : Cocktail Hour: Open Thread

Fri, 26 Feb 2016 21:30:06 +0000

So true. I fell asleep every time I took the SATs/ACTs, because those tests always went from 8 am to noon on Saturday. I was too lazy to get up early and eat breakfast, so my blood sugar would just be in the basement the whole time. I wonder how much better a college I could have gone to if I'd just eaten a damn Balance Bar!

The Toast : Link Roundup!

Fri, 26 Feb 2016 16:11:13 +0000

It's 'about' cannibalism in roughly the same way that Dirty Dancing is 'about' illegal abortion. Both were lost on me as a child because they are sort of tangential to the plot. And because I was dumb.

The Toast : Link Roundup!

Fri, 26 Feb 2016 14:44:27 +0000

I didn't get it the first time I watched, because I was like 10. These were simpler times, when I also thought George Michael was straight. Rewatched FGT a few years ago and it hit me about 6 minutes in that of course this was a movie about two lesbians, and also about cannibalism, which I think escaped me at 10 as well. I was kind of dumb as a kid. My Mom wanted me to watch Dirty Dancing when I was 8 or 9, and I said I had no desire to watch people dancing around in mud and getting all gross.

The Toast : Link Roundup!

Thu, 25 Feb 2016 16:08:52 +0000

I worked publishing in Philly, in 3 different places. Still lots of white women, tbh. But I suspect it's MUCH better in terms of class differences. Because you don't need a parent to bankroll your first job. And entry-level pay was about the same here as NYC, but cost of living way lower.

The Toast : Link Roundup!

Thu, 25 Feb 2016 14:49:13 +0000

This woman in the Tokenized article, omg: I asked, “If I had worked at a magazine like Newsweek would you propose I do an internship?” He said that’s a good question, and I said that’s a bad answer, and I walked out of his office. What a badass.

The Toast : Negative Space: On Asexuality and Atheism

Tue, 23 Feb 2016 16:34:46 +0000

You are a truly excellent writer, and the way you play with language and focus on words gave me a new perspective on both of these concepts. I'm an atheist, which was more of a big deal 20 years ago when all of my friends spent every Wednesday night in bible study and tried to bring me to Christian Rock shows at weekends. As an adult, I've managed to find people who think similarly to me. Which is not to say that they are all atheists, just to say that they at least comprehend that we're all sort of taking a guess and doing what feels right to us, and nobody has the definitive answers. I'm not asexual, in the strictest sense of the word. But I have sexual dysfunction that means even when I feel sexual desire, it's hypothetical. It's not matched with any actions. And it's rolled up with a lot of memory and subconscious associations of pain and awkwardness and nothing good at all. I am, however, in a long-term relationship with someone, and although he's not thrilled about these issues, he would rather be with me and my issues, than not be with me at all. Those people do exist. While my situation isn't exactly the same as yours, I was reminded several times of myself while reading this. I have to say, no one has ever told me that if I don't believe in god, it's because I haven't tried hard enough. Faith seems like something you have or you don't. I would probably cut out of my life anyone who suggested that particular course of action. I think it's incredibly important to be open and honest about when our lives don't fall in the normal sexual narrative established by RomComs and Lady Chatterley's Lover. That is a narrative that society has foisted on us, and we try to shove ourselves into that mold even when it doesn't meet our needs or match our desires. I'm all for dismantling that idea, and letting people determine their own narrative about what they want in a partner. Has anyone read On Chesil Beach by Ian McEwan? It dealt with some of these issues and it made me cry for ages, but it was really good.

The Toast : Link Roundup!

Tue, 23 Feb 2016 14:15:11 +0000

I cried and cried. Like 4 times yesterday, I cried over this woman, and over the Obamas.

The Toast : Dear Businesslady: Advice on Harassment and Prying

Mon, 22 Feb 2016 19:34:47 +0000

She was definitely a monster. 9th circle of hell for her.

The Toast : What Wouldn't You Do With Significantly More Money Than You Have Now?

Mon, 22 Feb 2016 18:08:49 +0000

I have no interest in haute couture, so I would never even be attracted to most fancy clothing designers, but I would definitely invest in higher quality basics to mix with my mid-range stuff. I would never buy a fancy sportscar. I would restore my mom's '66 Mustang, though. I would never employ live-in 'help'. I would probably have a once-weekly maid come in, but I could never ever see myself letting someone else do my laundry. Or even touch my laundry. I would definitely clean up the day before the maid's visit.

The Toast : Dear Businesslady: Advice on Harassment and Prying

Mon, 22 Feb 2016 16:34:26 +0000

I had a boss (older guy) that abhorred the idea of us wearing headphones, I think for this exact reason. He really disliked not being able to come up and talk to us without sort of flagging us down first. BUT, when I wear them I am about 1000% more productive. I have some misophonia tendencies and if I don't wear headphones all that I do is sit and think about how much I hate my co-workers. Who hiccup every day all day. And sing '80s songs aloud in super-strong North Philly accents. And take conference calls on speaker. Nope. Headphones for life.