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7 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +8 points

My lymph nodes do the same thing too, and they are everywhere in your neck. They stay inflamed longer if you poke them (not that I know from experience anything). Bodies are weird!

7 years ago @ The Toast - Open Thread! · 1 reply · +1 points

So, all the caveats, as I was using internet dating in a brief period of time where it was not the most awful thing that had ever existed and I didn't use it very long at all, but here's what worked for me:

Most people have dumb profiles. Making a profile that's not dumb is hard! Many people are more interesting in person (exceptions including that one incredibly boring dude I went on a date with who totally did interesting things but failed to actually *be* interesting). If someone seems like they have potential, it's much more efficient to keep the online chatting to a minimum and just meet up for coffee. You do not have to shave your legs for coffee (or ever, if you don't feel like it!)

Even though most profiles are dumb, it helps to be yourself as hard as possible in yours. My husband wound up messaging me because I wrote about my deep love affair with our local grocery store. The goal is not to meet lots of people, the goal is to meet the right people. You can block the wrong people right away without guilt. You don't actually owe anyone anything.

It's okay to limit the days/ times you go on dates. When I started dating I was super busy with, like, life stuff, so I only had two weekday evenings and one weekend day that I would even make available for dates- and I'd pretty much go on two a week, because I also like being home sometimes. Other things can be more important than dating. Early on, it's probably good if there are things more important than dating, as it helps hold back the whole "imagine your entire life together with this person after one date" thing...

But, on the whole, I dated a total of three guys via online dating (one cool but not long term, one inexcusably boring, and my husband)- probably about the same time in my life as you are now. Sometimes it doesn't take long! Which also means I can't exactly claim long experience, just good results :P

Since you're in a new place, you might also try meetups or other sorts of "explore your new place" activities that have the potential for meeting people. I know our city does Nerd Night, which involves listening to interesting people talk about interesting things, with a starter course of speed dating if you want- I did the friend speed dating and it was fine! We didn't click, but it was a perfectly tolerable way to spend a half hour, and then I listened to smart ladies talk about astrophysics, so the night would have been a win anyways.

I guess mostly it doesn't have to be a big deal- with the right escape plan it's a most an hour out of your life and hopefully a decent story (this is why boring dates are the worst- no story!) Good luck in your new place!

7 years ago @ The Toast - Open Thread! · 0 replies · +9 points

We just straight up had a "so, proposing, how do you want this to go down?" discussion, figured out the things that were important to us, and then proceeded accordingly (which wound up being a mutual exchange of piggy banks because that is the sort of people we are). Talking is pretty much your only option unless you guys have that mind reading thing figured out.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Open Thread! · 1 reply · +2 points

Job hunting Toasties, might I recommend this week's Irrelevant Show? The sketch starting at about 7:15 is a delight.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 0 replies · +2 points

Groups of any sort are good, most especially if they include people not in your major! My judo clubs in undergrad and grad school had a good mix of undergrads, grad students, and a few faculty/ staff/ community members, which was a very good reminder that my particular (very demanding) program was not the same thing as the real world. Plus I got to spend time with people who weren't stressed out or who at least were stressed about entirely different things than I was. Depending on your program of choice, you can wind up in a stress bubble (some quite toxic, some just not very good)- an outside reality check provides a lot of perspective.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 0 replies · +2 points

Thought I'd go to grad school here, wanted in state tuition (did not actually happen). Also in 2008 Texas was one of the few places with things like jobs, so that helped too.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 0 replies · +3 points

I bought my dad VIP tickets to a Weird Al concert and I am very excited to a) have found out that one was happening near him, just in time, and b) be able to spring for the VIP option with the meet & greet that will hopefully be totally awesome.

I also bought myself tickets for the tour date near me, and am quite looking forward to that as well, as I hear he puts on a great show and I haven't really listened to him in ages.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 2 replies · +11 points

Okay, this is technically general life advice, but college seems to particularly challenge it, so here you go. When I was in college, I thought of the following as the three legged stool which supported my entire college experience (and life generally): Sleep, healthy eating, and exercise. Sleep meaning sleeping the amount your body needs, ideally in something resembling a regular schedule, healthy eating meaning eating in a way that makes your body feel good and function well, and exercise meaning moving your body in a manner that makes you, on the whole, feel better having done it than not. You will be very tempted to let one if not all of the legs of this stool drop in the name of things like "free time" and "studying" and "deadlines." But it turns out brains actually work a lot better if your stool is in good shape. So, as much as possible, keep all your stool legs in place. Midterms, maybe compromise on one leg, finals, maaaybe two, but only for a few days, max., as much as you can manage. You'll actually get more done faster if your brain works and you feel good, plus your brain will work and you'll feel good, which is on the whole a preferable state of being.

My personal best thing I did in college was join the judo club, which not only taught me how to throw people, including large men, but also gave me a community that I've tapped into again and again as I've moved around. Plus it was a very useful weedout tool for useless men, as they'd suddenly go from hitting on me to desperately needing to be somewhere else when I told them what I did for fun. It takes a specific sort of person to catch the judo bug, which you might or might not be. But finding your community, especially if it's a community that supports one of the legs of your stool, is a great thing to do, if you can.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 1 reply · +1 points

Sorry- regular bras into nursing bras (not sure why you'd do it the other way around?). It's also a pretty easy DIY if you sew - just buy the clips and sew them in.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 3 replies · +1 points

Nordstrom's will convert nursing bras into regular ones for not too much money if you find normal ones you like better. I'm on my second round of new bras at 25 weeks- the comfort is more than worth the money for me, but it's all so personal- I'm mostly pro doing what makes you comfy and anti unnecessary discomfort since there's so much you have to put up with during pregnancy anyways! Also jersey skirts are the best.