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9 years ago @ Wonkette - Now Wendy Davis Can't ... · 0 replies · +2 points

Can we also take just a moment to remember that abortion doesn't always mean abortion? True story, we have a doctor fellow in my neck of the woods who thinks ladies shouldn't bother their pretty heads by worrying about what they should do with and to their own bodies, so he does his best to convince us it's dangerous. He likes to talk about the number of women he sees in the ER after an abortion. He cites numbers and other fancy things women don't understand so he sounds all smart and manly and stuff. He always forgets to mention that "abortion" means you was, but now you ain't, knocked up.

Remember that time you (or your cousin Sally, or your neighbor's kid) were just getting used to the idea that you had the beginnings of a person growing in your junk, but then you got all crampy and bloody and ewwww gross then sad and the potentially someday human thing quit growing and came out? You called it a miscarriage, Sally called it a miscarriage, everybody knows it was a miscarriage. Your chart says "abortion". You had yourself a spontaneous abortion. You murderer.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Allen West Heard About... · 0 replies · +16 points

Just thinking about the possibility of soldiers escorting empty supply convoys makes my brain feel explody. One of my 2 war veteran kids came within yards of being blown up on two separate convoys. Allen West should have been doing more of that and less torture.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Shooty Screamy Former ... · 0 replies · +2 points

When you say "mad" do you mean "angry" or "mentally unbalanced"? One of those definitely already happened.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Pope Francis: Sure, We... · 0 replies · +4 points

If this ends with New Pope being stoned to death by a mob then brewed into a tasty tea, I'm digging up Heinlein's moldering bones and building a church.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Deleted Comments Of Th... · 0 replies · +5 points

Likely story.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - GOP Does Its Own Death... · 1 reply · +7 points

But but but deathpanelssocialismmicrochipsbenghazi!

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Deleted Comments Of Th... · 0 replies · +7 points

You know, if you let cowtards dry for a while they burn real nicely.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Deleted Comments Of Th... · 0 replies · +11 points

I thought that by "fucking rights" he meant my right to get all naughty with grandpa. Someone get that man a map to Louisiana, they're the ones trying to keep us from doing the buttsecks.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Rightwing Media Stroki... · 0 replies · +11 points

If I understand this correctly, the nuttosphere is saying it's the guvmint's job to give us all free stuff so we sell cheaper stuff? Grandpa earns money to pay for my lavish lifestyle by writing codes that make the google machines do things, next time he wants to buy a new machine with blinky lights, I'll tell him just to go down to the local federal building and get one there.

10 years ago @ Wonkette - 13 Brave Americans Who... · 1 reply · +8 points

I have to admit, I'm already worried about this very question.