gdp's Comments

Dealbreaker : You're Not The Only One Affected By Your Diminished Bonus This Year, You Selfish Sons Of A Bitch

Mon, 12 Jan 2015 21:00:17 +0000

Tiffany's? Why not buy her something nice? -2006 Calling

Dealbreaker : Thought Experiment: What Wouldn't This Guy Do For An IPO?

Thu, 11 Dec 2014 21:46:14 +0000

Toys R' Us? Fines for research analysts? Caring about research analysts? Bonuses for brokers? Did financial news teleport back to circa 2001?

Dealbreaker : Would-Be Jefferies Interns Deprived Of Face Time With Sage Kelly's Boss

Mon, 8 Dec 2014 21:48:44 +0000

A man after my own heart. -T. Sawyer

Dealbreaker : Just An FYI For Next Time

Mon, 8 Dec 2014 21:42:16 +0000

What about margs? Asking for a friend.... -M. Levine

Dealbreaker : Opening Bell: 11.21.14

Fri, 21 Nov 2014 13:43:56 +0000

...and somewhere, someone is long the first-ever UK single-name social impact bond.

Dealbreaker : Opening Bell: 11.19.14

Wed, 19 Nov 2014 14:50:15 +0000

Steam-cleaning a Hong Kong microflat after llama-on-elephant porn. I think I got the high points. -UBS Reading-for-Content MD

Dealbreaker : Order Is Restored To The Merrill Lynch Universe

Thu, 13 Nov 2014 23:12:45 +0000

“...meat, potatoes and booze...It’s the way you’re supposed to feed the Thundering Herd.” Yeah, that's how you're supposed to be feed a herd of steer. Cannibalism.

Dealbreaker : Goldman Sachs Changes 78 People's Lives

Wed, 12 Nov 2014 20:00:08 +0000

"It's not that guys like me are generally attracted to Asian girls. It's that Asian girls are generally attracted to guys like me." "I'm developing an algorithm to define the connection between Jewish guys and Asian girls." "I don't think it's that complicated. They're hot, they're smart, they're not Jewish and they can't dance."

Dealbreaker : Opening Bell: 11.05.14

Wed, 5 Nov 2014 16:26:40 +0000

"Oh my God, you guys got to get it together over there." Pot, meet kettle.

Dealbreaker : Mark Zuckerberg Wants To Be A Feudal Lord Too, Damn It

Wed, 1 Oct 2014 19:51:50 +0000

But where are the clients' Hawaiian island compounds?

Dealbreaker : The Hustler Club Is Going Public

Wed, 24 Sep 2014 16:43:41 +0000

JOC

Dealbreaker : Sex, Shoe Bonuses For Interns NBD At UBS (Update)

Mon, 15 Sep 2014 19:59:04 +0000

When we harass sexually, we also take care to be as broadly misogynistic as possible. For example, when our officers attempt to sleep with interns, he also make sweeping generalizations about women's willingness to have sex for shoes. Its just one more way we're working for You...and Us. UBS.

Dealbreaker : Stanford MBA Introduces Dating App For People Who Think Being Friends With A "Big-Shot CEO...On Face

Mon, 8 Sep 2014 18:22:48 +0000

The logo's random capitalization and terrible punctuation is proof positive that they wouldn't even make it on to their own dating site: THE league date. intelligently Oh, and don't sleep on that upcoming lawsuit from FX.

Dealbreaker : Judge Rules Statements To Your Mother About Your Expected Bonus Don't Equal A Legally Binding Contra

Wed, 3 Sep 2014 19:39:11 +0000

What about statements from your mother? Because she used to constantly praise me and tell me what a beautiful unique snowflake I am, and if that's not legally binding I might just kill myself. -Millennials

Dealbreaker : Angelo Mozilo Has No Idea Why People Still Want To Talk About Countrywide, He's Yet To Be Inducted I

Tue, 2 Sep 2014 18:38:00 +0000

If you're not willing to eat the chicken or beef, you'll never even get within sniffing distance of the fish. -Lonely in Penn Station

Dealbreaker : Opening Bell: 08.22.14

Fri, 22 Aug 2014 15:57:30 +0000

"I'm not proud of what I've done, but I hope the sacrifices I've made will help you live a more bountiful and frugal existence." Like taking it upon yourself to live near Penn Station and figuring out that its really the Shep Shirt that seals the deal.

Dealbreaker : Monument To Morgan Stanley's Two Billion Dollar Oopsie To Go Down For The Dirt Nap

Tue, 12 Aug 2014 18:18:26 +0000

"I've often seen these people, these squares at the table, short stack and long odds against them. All their outs gone. One last card in the deck that can help them. I used to wonder how they could let themselves get into such bad shape, and how the hell they thought they could turn it around." -Mike McD

Dealbreaker : Hedge Fund Manager, Model Landlord Not Seeing Eye To Eye Re: Lease Agreement

Mon, 11 Aug 2014 16:52:14 +0000

It's New York City! I mean, its the new New York City, the post-crisis New York City, where the old model-hedge fund manager power dynamic has been inverted, and sure, people still go to Marquee, but now only ironically. Sure models and bottles still exists, but the guy buying the bottles failed out of three startups, like failure is cool and profitable now? And again, the model is now your landlord. To get a car home now, you have to stay until approximately noon the next day, and Seamless is $20 max and only available after 8pm (one minute while I go forage in streetside garbage bins instead). Asset management is now our focus? What's next, recruiting from state schools? (Also, what is capital, and why do I have to optimize it?) Banks can't retain young talent because everyone love wearing tshirts to the office, and oh, that's cool you can bring dogs to work! Quick, to San Francisco so we can figure out the newest ad delivery system! OK, I guess that kind of makes it the old, old New York of 1999... -Old Man Yelling At Sky

Dealbreaker : Bill Ackman Hates The Hell Out Of Herbalife Because God Damnit He Loves America

Tue, 22 Jul 2014 18:36:52 +0000

Do not look directly into the eyes of the great and terrible Ackman American Flag Turtle-Monster, for he will dissemble and haunt your dreams.

Dealbreaker : New York's Hottest New Club Is Gorman

Tue, 24 Jun 2014 22:03:51 +0000

Seth, also, rumor has it that admission to GORMAN now has reciprocal benefits with the New York's hottest new club: DEALBREAKER. It has everything: brutal treatment of new entrants, old guys screaming about natural gas, zombie bankers, and most shockingly, a guy who defends Texas. Owner Beth Lezzin provides free margaritas and the DJ is a sentient pig who remixes piano standards.