So, I bought a house for just under GBP500,000 nearly a year ago. Wow! Rich! No. My old house, bought for circa GBP320,000 had increased in value. My family needed to move (for work and family reasons). We had to move into a county where house prices were higher. We got stuffed. Extra mortgage to buy a house that was smaller - and had a smaller garden - than the one we sold.

Then there was stamp duty. Employee mobility is meant to be a key to economic development. Stamp duty nearly sank it. We had to take out a further mortgage to pay the stamp duty.

And we paid it. WE HAVE ALREADY PAID IT on the property we own.

You want us to pay it again on the same property? Take out more debt? Just as rising interest rates are being scented again?

And you want to KEEP my vote and that of my wife?

ARE YOU CRAZY?!

Disregarding debate about yellow pollen, blue flowers, the importance of bees and the ongoing life of an "English Country Garden", I ask fellow Conservatives this (now vital question?):

How long before our nation requires all children living within it to learn the country's *full* religious history: to and beyond the Commonwealth coming home; featuring the foundation of University College London (and Britain's first Mosque in the late 19th century in Liverpool)? How long before we place today's debates in a true context: events preceding the first "Crusade"? Faith and belief under the Roman Empire (including the time after and before Constantine)? The Druids (what we do and do not know - and why? Were they truly led by a woman in red with an Essex accent? Were they led by men in white with long beards?).

These questions matter in addressing the ignorance of adult parents and grandparents who have learned "history according to Monty Python". Learning about the return of Catholicism to the UK: the Oxford Movement, Vatican I and Vatican II, may shed new light and context on World War I and II - just as studying gender differences through the centuries does: from Boudicca to Elizabeth I to Private Benjamin/Hopkins (forgive the American example, but we Brits have been doing rather badly on movies of late), Thatcher and beyond.

So, an article designed to split Conservatives from laissez faire economic liberals? An article designed to suggest that in a twenty-first century where far bigger nations overseas are capable of hacking other countries' elections (either by buying and pulling the digital strings of their media or by less conventional means: hired Twitter posters, bloggers, etc or, more extreme, actual Watergate-like entry into servers (rather than office buildings)) those same countries can also hack economies (by more or less obvious means).

Can Britain control its more and more Euro-like pound in such an environment? Does the Bank of England (is it really still, post-Darien Scheme failure, called that?) have all the levers it needs to survive the whims of the Chinese, Americans, Russians, Indians working in our City (and in their own financial hubs) and more?

Or is "monetarism in one country" relatable to "communism in one country": nigh on impossible unless one's name is "Kim" (and even then a tough ask...).

"Locking up" the gates. Doing an Arendelle. Becoming the "White Witch" of an Aslan(a Turkish name y'know!)-free Britain is (despite the attempts of the Guardian to re-colour Theresa) not what Theresa May is really about.

Defence is. Being strong is.

It is naive to see a Britain (away from the boosted gang-bargaining power of the EU) negotiating trade arrangements successfully without some new economic armour. Anti-dumping is going to be as much a focus, one imagines, as facing-off free-riding immigrants (and, indeed, free-riding natural citizens).

This is toned Britannia. She is at the gym each day. Divorce is now a given. She is back on the market.

With Ant & Dec taking ITV's "Saturday Night Take Away" on tour to Barcelona, Spain and Florida, USA one does rather feel the Crown and BBC might benefit from engaging (even better) with the Commonwealth. An adapted cruise ship / air craft carrier seems a great option. It's been a while since CBBC broadcast Commonwealth-based dramas to educate and entertain: Children of Fire Mountain and more. The Children's Film Foundation. Surely CBeebies and CBBC need to be fit for future monarchs...

Have to see the first leader of a G7 nation on the International Space Station - or otherwise in space - first! An American? Or Chinese? Or Indian? Or Canadian? Or Japanese? Or...?

12. Windfall tax on immigrants. Not claiming that Gordon Brown's sale of Britain's gold reserves funded benefits payments to immigrants. Not claiming that the sale of HM Government land and buildings assets (or privatisation) funded economic transfers to immigrants (as secretly intended by immigrant economists working for HM Treasury and elsewhere advising government). Such is the stuff of conspiracy theorists and nonsense peddlers. However, am claiming that immigrants have benefited from school, hospital and other public buildings, roads and infrastructure paid for with the taxes (including inheritance taxes) paid by those with gravestones in the UK - and that the wishes and expectations of those ancestors (when paying those taxes) have been wilfully disregarded for too long. The assets pre-date us; some by centuries (or more). All of us should respect that. Were those buried in the UK told they were paying to build a future for their descendents or for the descendents of people from outside the Commonwealth (or, indeed, outside England)? For future Christians? Or for...? The obsession with zombies and the dead rising suggests that (truly) the young know that there is something amiss (whether metaphorical or otherwise)... These issues of inter-generational obligation (stretching back centuries) require greater thought. #TheSleeperAwakes

Well, we do have Reaction Engines (google) and Richard Branson has Virgin Galactic; Surrey Satellite Technology is there too; the days of Professor Pillinger are past; but there are plenty of British space researchers and, surely, team-working with Nigeria's space effort, India's and others would make sense. The Conservatives (via Lord Tebbit and the timing of the only two British-passport-holiding astronauts) have a great record on space. Whilst internet entrepreneurs are extending their investments to further nerdy dreams into the stars (Space Resources Inc, etc); surely the British can prepare itself to defend British assets off-planet (whether manufacturing, mineral extraction, colonists or otherwise). This. Is. The. Twenty-first. Century.

Nonsense!
1. Increase the number of English MPs to restore the ratio between represented and representatives;
2. Introduce a national investment bond that new immigrants are required to buy in to: so they can catch-up on the taxes longer-standing residents (and their ancestors!) have invested in British state assets (land, buildings, know how, etc);
3. Introduce a full British Parliament in northern England (restore Westminster to its pre-1603 status as the Parliament of England and Wales.
4. For those working in Financial Services and other EU-needing wealth-creating businesses introduce an opt-in taxation and judicial system that allows them to trade effectively in the Common Market (but them only!);
5. Fund a joint Commonwealth flagship for the Crown and the BBC (with helipad; training suite; studios) to enable Britain to re-engage the Commonwealth and its children. Let's put the sea blue and flagship back into Blue Peter. Let's give Prince William and his family a means to engage audiences at home and abroad: Commonwealth Beebies and beyond!
6. Review double-glazing in all schools. Energy is not getting cheaper. Schools are used through the cold months. Let's get things where they should be. A lick of paint wouldn't hurt. Let's set an example of what British standards of maintenance are! We are not a shoddy wasteful nation!
7. Let's not lose to Labour what Cameron re-gained. Caution on public services is vital.
8. Let's get the "Church" back into "Church and Crown" Conservatism. A full review of how national institutions have been raising Britain's children toward adulthood and of its impact. Is a dwindling church merely the effect of dwindling leadership/government/education: not all have the memory of Theresa, Boris, Justine or Nick (each expert on the Nicene Creed, Ten Commandments and Lord's Prayer no doubt!).
9. Transport. Let's get it right for the age of the Hyperloop. It is the 21st century!
10. Energy. Let's plan with Commonwealth partners who have alternative and other assets that we do not.
11. Space. Royal Space Force. Or Commonwealth Space Agency? Again. It. Is. The. Twenty-first. Century.

Look, ultimately, the key date is 2018: the centenary of the end of the First World War (pending a further referendum on Euro-dollar merger in 2044 - following US intervention in a sizeable EU spat in 2042 after three years watching European corporates destroy each other to the benefit of Walmart etc under TTIP): what will the celebration look like?

In the meantime, call in the foreigners: ask the Japanese if they still think Britain should vote "Hai"; ask the Americans if it's "Yo!" to the EU; ask the Russian billionaires if they'd add a "Da" when speaking to Chelsea fans - and to others.

Meantime, enjoy the new Star Wars movie; miss the old heroes and villains; prepare for the new ones!

P.S. Don't mention the anniversary of the Spanish flu epidemic (the banking industry, and others, suffered that one early!)

The Commonwealth Secretariat should buy the BBC - or at least a big chunk of it. If they need one, the Commonwealth Secretariat should organise a "Pooled Cultural Sovereignty Wealth Fund" (or similar) to do it. Britain should face facts: the BBC is not wholly ours to play with.

Just as the English language is both ours and not ours, so is the BBC. Just as Shakespeare is ours and not ours, so is the BBC.

So let's see it. Let an Australian leader with some "balls", a Canadian leader with clean and strong self-discipline, an Indian leader above corruption, a... you get the picture. Let the best of the leaders of the Commonwealth advise HM Queen Elizabeth II they want to take the BBC off Britain's hands.

Let's have Blue Peter broadcast from a ship: a giant ship.

Let's have "BBC" news rooms in every Commonwealth capital.

And drama produced with each and every Commonwealth member.

The Commonwealth Broadcasting Corporation: founded upon "that the special strength of the Commonwealth" which "lies in the combination of our diversity and our shared inheritance in language, culture and the rule of law; and bound together by shared history and tradition; by respect for all states and peoples; by shared values and principles and by concern for the vulnerable."

See more at: http://thecommonwealth.org/our-charter#sthash.2CV...