en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/2398155 Comments by 1iliani http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/11/29/voices-from-the-classroom-82/#IDComment231959030 Any country in this world definitely do not have the right to invade any other countries without a legitimate reason. And oil is not one of it. I would actually give my support to America if America has the intention to buy the oil from other countries, or even collaborate or make a deal for trade of oil, and not go to war for it. It is just history repeating itself; wasn't the wars in the past were simply based on greed? Greedy of wealth, land, oil, women, pride or even just for revenge. I think the only time a country should invade another country if the people of the other country is suffering under their current rulers and it is obvious to claim so; hence invading that country is the only way to save the suffering people. A country should also go to war if they are indeed in danger and they need to protect their country and people. The war should only be between the warriors and soldiers sent by the respective countries; civilians, children, the elderly and women who are not participating in the war are not to be injured as they are not within the war zones. This is the war etiquette that should be followed, as how the Qur'an has prescribe it to be. Even though it is true that Qur'an has verses talking about war, those who do not read the whole verse or the chapters that do talk about wars will definitely misinterpret the Qur'an as 'promoting' wars; what is prescribed in the Qur'an about wars is actually the many many rules and etiquettes of war, hence making war as a last resort to solve disputes. Once a war is over, there should not be any further killing on the losing end, just as how our Prophet and many other great leaders had shown mercy and kindness to the civilians even though they were of the losing side. I am not saying this to convince anyone that Islam has the best war etiquette; there indeed has been Muslims that have misused the name of the religion to commit terrorism and even horrible crusades in the past. But if you were to really study the Qur'an verses on war and how Prophet Muhammad conducted and led the wars based on the true verses of Qur'an, you will be surprised. Study the history of Islam in their early days, study how Prophet Muhammad started his journey on bringing Islam to the world. The internet is definitely a great place you can find lots of data from both views of the the war verses in the Qur'an. Hence be prepared to evaluate which sources is the one we will trust and believe to be true. I might seem to be regressing from the main question of this vlog, but I truly believe that if one were to really follow and practice the war etiquettes based on the Qur'an, these issue of countries invading other countries for resources, based on greed, causing death of hundreds and thousands of innocent lives,.. Might finally come to an end. God willing. "Fight in the cause of God those who fight you, but do not transgress limits; for God loves not transgressors. And slay them wherever you catch them, and turn them out from where they have turned you out; for tumult and oppression are worse than slaughter... But if they cease, God is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful... If they cease, let there be no hostility except to those who practice oppression" (2:190-193). Sat, 3 Dec 2011 03:30:35 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/11/29/voices-from-the-classroom-82/#IDComment231959030 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/11/15/voices-from-the-classroom-78/#IDComment224227748 what have i learn.. When I first heard about the crisis, it was when the issue was just started to rise and Joe Paterno and Graham Spanier (President of Pennstate) was still a part of Pennstate alumni. At the beginning, I only heard about Pennstate facing a crisis. Later on I soon heard that it was something about a sex scandal. Truthfully, I was not very concern about the issue as we always hear about sex scandals and affairs in the news. It is true what Sam has said in class; victims are often silenced and will never speak out. But we do know that sexual abuse and assaults are common. Little did I know that it was such a huge deal for PENNSTATE when two most respective idols of Pennstate were involved. When I started to hear that JoePa's job was on the line, the first question that popped in my mind was 'Was he the one who did it?' Soon to find out that JoePa wasn't, really left me feeling that the whole news coverage on JoePa much more instead of the real offender, is really absurd and ridiculous. Finding out later that the university board of trustees had fired JoePa and the president of Pennstate really set an uproar across pennstate students. The riot then quickly followed. The Candle Vigil was for Pennstate to redeem itself in a way and to show support of the victims of sexual abuse. We also managed to witness a very mature Pennstate when Pennstate lost it's last football game to Nebraska, but nobody was going nuts downtown like they would use to. Being from thinking that this is just another sexual abuse case into thinking that Pennstate's reputation might be tarnished forever and into this is how it feels to be labeled and stereotyped as how muslims and middle eastern students faced day to day, is quite an amazing journey within a short amount of time. The first thing that I've learn from this is how ridiculously everything is just about politics, well in my opinion that is. I do not see the reason why we need to bring in the higher authorities that actually did try to do something about the matter when they knew about it, while leaving the real culprit being the 'sub-topic' of the matter. Why do I see more people condemning PENNSTATE as a whole, condemning JoePa and the president compared to the culprit if he is indeed guilty of the charges? Very interesting display of politics, I must say. I was only aware that this scandal could indeed harm Pennstate's reputation and the students when we discussed the issue in class. And also when the media started to ‘attack’ Pennstate. To add to that, class last week also made me aware of another thing: 'American' Pennstate students are actually experiencing what muslims and middle easterns had been experiencing over the years since 9/11. Despite being a muslim myself, I have only been in this country for 3 years for studies, hence I have yet to really experience discrimination if I were to plan to migrate and live in the U.S. for good. Plus, I am indeed studying in State College; thankfully, the community here does not discriminate as much as incidences that I have heard of in different states of the country. Come to Pennstate, and you will know how friendly and peaceful this community is. Even cars will stop for pedestrians who might not be crossing the road at the right time or right place! Try crossing the road in New York or back at home in Malaysia. You are certainly putting your life on the line if you were to do just that. Going back to what Sam said in the 2nd class to discuss about the crisis, I could not agree more with what he concluded in class. We should not just ‘Deal with it’, or face the problems that we are facing in life, but GROW from it. Remember the sweet memories, but don’t forget the bad memories either; learn from them so that we may move on to look for new sweet memories :) Sat, 19 Nov 2011 06:15:17 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/11/15/voices-from-the-classroom-78/#IDComment224227748 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/11/10/voices-from-the-classroom-72/#IDComment220662571 Innocent until proven guilty, or guilty until proven innocent? Does the first only belongs to optimists and the latter to pessimists? Or does the latter practices 'better be safe than sorry' or the first 'don't judge a book by it's cover?' As Sam has mentioned many times, everything in this world, especially humans, is not simply black and white. We are all grey, and very complex creatures with various and diverse complex matters and problems. Even though intellectually we all know that 'innocent until proven guilty' is the optimists road, preserving human rights and all, but we still can't avoid passing judgement very quickly on everyone we meet, or on every matter we encounter. This is simply because we are human in nature. We have those natural mechanisms of caution and survival whenever we encounter something, regardless of it being harmful or harmless. Yes, not everyone reacts or pass judgement the same way towards the same matter; we are indeed complex creatures. However when we do pass judgement rather quickly on others, it is simply due to our defensive mechanisms kicking in. Say for example you meet a new friend through friends at a party. He/She seems to be the attention getter, and just started acting wild because of alcohol, and started bashing you for really embarrassing matters. You would almost immediately take him or her as a jerk and start to defend yourself; especially in front of your group of friends. For the most of us this judgement might only last until that person is sober. But for the first hour that we have met the drunk-jerk, we made a judgement (of the person being a complete jerk) simply to enable ourselves to defend our dignity and honor. The same goes for 'judging a book by it's cover'. I could honestly say when I was traveling with in Philly, we will be extra cautious of black men. We are not being racist, but we were only afraid and worried of our safety as a result of hearing rumors of the ghetto area of Philly. I myself have met black men who are the most gentle and intellectual individuals. However when we were in Philly, my friends and I passed judgement for our safety. I could say that it is not easy to overcome this quick judgmental side of our human nature. I even struggled with it for a bit myself for quite a long time. A few years ago, I struggled with having the 'first impression' that muslim boys and girls that were social, drinking, leaving their five time prayers, eating pork, and could care less off their aurah and sleep around were all extremely 'bad' people. But over time, I learned that I have no right to judge. They all are still Muslims, and they still have the chance to repent and turn a new leaf, because Allah is the All-Forgiving. In fact, they are facing huge challenges by Allah; where their ignorance of the religion and towards sin is also a sign that Allah still loves them. Who knows they might have had a bad childhood, or dark horrible stories that caused them to be that way today. I think the main root that we pass judgement very quickly on people is because we assume that they are like us. We assume that they have the same opportunities and chances to know what we know, to learn what we learn and be able to overcome ignorance. Not everyone has the same childhood, the same family, the same house, and even the same friends! Then we start passing judgement when someone else has different values, different believes. Learning this changed my life. I no longer pass judgement on a person ultimately because he or she is different from me even for the slightest bit, because I am now aware that they may not have the chances that I had to learn what they have yet to know; or maybe something that they do know that I am ignorant of. Hence if we do encounter those who remain ignorant, it is our duty to TELL them what we know before passing judgement. Teach it to them. Then if they still reject it, it is between them and Allah. I am still learning too. So if I am ignorant of something, please do share with me your knowledge, and I'll gladly share you mine :) Let us share the knowledge, then maybe the world will be a better place. Rasulullah(saw) said "The best of charity is a Muslim who learns a knowledge and later teaches it to his Muslim brother." Sat, 12 Nov 2011 01:24:30 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/11/10/voices-from-the-classroom-72/#IDComment220662571 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/11/01/voices-from-the-classroom-62/#IDComment216784775 In my personal opinion, I do really think that it is fine that the business of the U.S. in bringing in more immigrants into the country. It is good that the immigrants who are really looking for jobs to support their families, and are willing to work hard and do a good job for the higher pay they can receive in this new home of theirs. The U.S also benefits greatly from their presence and hard work; the economy is able to improve over time. Even so, what bothers me is not the business, but the discrimination and attitude of those who are ignorant towards the immigrants. They would discriminate against immigrants, saying that they should go home, that they had no rights in the U.S. Where is the land of opportunities then? Where is the freedom that the U.S. is famous for? They should be aware that most of the immigrants that come to the U.S. are those who are looking for jobs to support their family and are actually very hard working. Not every immigrants who come to the U.S. to look for trouble or to commit a crime. As a matter of fact, the U.S. herself is giving opportunities for them to come to the U.S.! There are also a lot of immigrants that come to my country as well to look for jobs; mostly are from Indonesia or Bangladesh. Jobs that are available in Malaysia are becoming house maids, doing hard labor in construction sites, working in a restaurant and the list goes on. Learning about the immigrants in the U.S.; Hispanics, and whites in the past, had left me thinking about the immigrants in my country. And honestly speaking, I find a very huge conflict within myself. This is because things are different back at home. Most immigrants that do come to our country had increased the crime rate. Many of the public are worried whenever they see a construction site and feared that many immigrants will be present in that area for the next few months. Rape, murder and theft are among the crimes that many feared of. I am aware that most of them are just like the immigrants of the U.S.; they come to my country just to look for jobs and money for their family, and lack of opportunities to gain formal education. I once had a house maid who was very young, just around her twenties, but was very kind, friendly, hardworking and is a very good cook! My family took her as part of a family, and not just a house-maid. We still do keep in touch with her even though she had returned to Indonesia. :) Even so, I think the main difference of immigrants of my country and the U.S. is that the immigrants that come to the U.S. brings their families along and plan to either migrate to the U.S. or plan to return to their home after a certain amount of time (well the possibilities are limitless). The immigrants that come to my country are either single, or have families back at home; they always come to our country alone, and only plan to return to their country after they had gained enough money or send as much remittance as possible back home. They rarely have plans to migrate to Malaysia. At the very least, this is what I know from the years of living in Malaysia. We still do increase our awareness and precautions whenever we are aware that we are in an area with a high number of immigrants. This do leave me feeling guilty of feeling that way, but safety is just the only main reason why we do it. Yes, there are immigrants who do not fit the popular stereotype, but back at home it might not be possible to ultimately be extremely comfortable with every one of them, because most are not planning to emigrate, hence are not as dedicated or determined as the immigrants in the U.S. to view Malaysia as their new home. I truly believe that things will definitely be different if the immigrants do plan to emigrate to Malaysia. And not just consider it as a place just to work and get a good pay. Guilty as charged, but still hoping for a change. :) Fri, 4 Nov 2011 13:11:45 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/11/01/voices-from-the-classroom-62/#IDComment216784775 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/10/27/voices-from-the-classroom-58/#IDComment213609024 Honestly speaking, when I heard Sam mentioned in class that whites will be a minority in about 20 to 30 years time, I instantly had the thought that maybe then whites will finally understand how minorities feel. I couldn't help but think of my own country in this very same matter; how would I feel if the tables suddenly turned around? On one hand, it will finally be a good lesson to the majority Malay race to finally be in the shoes of the minority. Only then we would finally realize what opportunities and privileges that had always been given to us and we simply took it for granted for years. Maybe then my Malay race will no longer be 'lazy' and taking things for granted as the system today favors the Malay race so much more especially in education scholarships when other youth of different races clearly has the higher qualifications. This will also definitely allow the Malay race to push themselves much harder if indeed they no longer have the same privileges they once had; our community will actually improve if we were to really think about it. Since competition will be raised to a whole new level when Indians and Chinese in my country have the same opportunities as do the Malays, everyone will be left with no choice but to work hard to get what they deserve. The same thing goes with whites; they will finally realize what opportunities and privileges that they had when whites were the dominant. But if the tables do turn around, what will happen then is that the minorities will then be the majority; the US will be a predominantly black/brown country, while Malaysia will be a predominantly Chinese or Indian country. Just having that idea in our heads is simply challenging, and quite impossible for us to know what to expect. The world will definitely be a completely different world; for the US, maybe everyone will be trying to have black skin, black hair. Hence the 'black supremacy' world! But then I started thinking about something else; when will this minority-majority race thing be over? Nobody likes being labeled as a 'minority', especially when the label comes with racial stereotypes, disadvantages and sometimes even dangers that might put lives at stake. The previously dominant group will now be the new minority group. New stereotypes and discrimination will prevail soon enough. Being half Malay and half Chinese, I would certainly want the Malay race to finally be aware of the extra privileges that they have and let other races have the same privileges too. At the same time, I wouldn't want the Malay race to become the new minority and experience the inequality that other races have felt. If what Sam meant in class when he said whites will be a minority in the future is that there will no longer be white supremacy, discrimination or racial profiling as all races are at an equal level, then that would be a world that everyone dreams of (except for those who likes discrimination and labeling others). Maybe one day, this dream or ours will become true across the globe. God willing :) Fri, 28 Oct 2011 21:56:19 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/10/27/voices-from-the-classroom-58/#IDComment213609024 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/10/20/voices-from-the-classroom-48/#IDComment210274153 Regardless of what stages each of us are, I am very sure that all of your friends and even your enemies, who are of different stages will definitely influence you. I can go on and on how people of lower or higher stages could influence you to go into the next stage, but the bottom line is that it depends on how much you will allow yourselves be influenced by others, be it negative or positive. Coming to the US around 3 years ago, I could say that I have never SEEN a white or black person, in person, at least from what I can remember as we would only see whites or blacks back in my country if they were tourists (which is in very little amounts) and college students (back in my ‘teenage’ days, we were not that observant). With that being said, I started off immediately at stage 2 with my perceptions towards the various races present here in the US. Back at home, Malaysia consists of 3 main races; Chinese, Indian and Malays, with Malays being the majority. Coming from a multiracial family automatically leaves me to being at least at stage 2 in my life before I came to the States; I am constantly curious about the differences, but let those slip aside as I do not want to offend anyone with my curiosity. As I grew older, I am more aware of the differences between the 3 main races in my country. Chinese are often known for being hardworking, smart and successful, also always looking for ways to make money (and they often succeed). Malays are quite the opposite; they are often labeled as being lazy, old fashioned, ignorant, gossipers, envious and jealous of others, use black magic (even though it is against Islam, where majority of Malays are Muslims) and yes, the list goes on. Interestingly I am half Chinese and half Malay; such irony ya? Indians often have both positive and negative stereotypes; they are either lazy, involved in gangs and drugs, or hardworking, smart and successful. Being half Malay, I slowly developed a little anger within myself against my half-self, even though my father who I love so dearly is a ‘full’ Malay. This is because I constantly hear negative stereotypes from my friends, whom some of them are Malays themselves, that other Malays fit the stereotypes so perfectly. What more, sometimes the evidence is there right in front of our eyes. Soon I found myself in high school, with still being stuck in stage 3. Back in elementary school, my friends (all Chinese, Malay and Indian friends) mostly spoke English as our first language even though the Malay language is our mother tongue. Because of our similar language that we use everyday, I think most of my friends were at stage 1; they did not see ‘race’ as a separating entity from ourselves and others. Because of this too I would always believe that Malays who spoke the Malay language ONLY are those who fit those horrible stereotypes. I was right only until high school. I started making friends with many Malays who spoke the Malay language as their first language; some of them even had trouble with speaking in English. For me it was the direct opposite; yes, I was struggling with my mother tongue. And I found out that my friends who only spoke Malay for most of the time were all wonderful people (well, not everyone :p) and hence brought me soon to stage 4; now directing my ‘anger’ to Chinese and Indians instead for having such negative stereotypes towards Malay. I think most of my high school friends were either at stage 2 (having the ‘Malay’ guilt instead) or the stage 3 phase of having hatred to Malays. Some of my Malay friends who are ‘pro-Malay’ were definitely in stage 4. But I think I did not stay long in stage 4 as I quickly moved to stage 5; accepting all differences and try to make peace. I soon realized that the hatred towards Malays, the inequalities that exist between races are mostly not 100% the fault of being in a certain racial group. It is often because of so many other factors and forces that influence each and every one of us in our lives. To add to that, it is often that those of stages 3 or 4 that causes much dispute between races, when I think the majority of us are at the peaceful stages of 1, 2, 5 or 6, with most of my high school friends being at stage 2. I think that once most of us have reached adulthood, we begin to move quickly into stage 5 and 6. Being the ‘fish out of the waters’ especially opened my eyes at least, to a whole new world with their own little dispute. Writing this very response actually made me realize that throughout the years, I was maybe just a little bit at a further stage compared to my peers, most probably because of my family background. I truly do believe up till this day that your friends may have some influence that he or she can put upon you, but ultimately, you have the power to choose what will really sink deep into yourself at the end of the day. “O you who have believed, upon you is [responsibility for] yourselves. Those who have gone astray will not harm you when you have been guided. To Allah is your return all together; then He will inform you of what you used to do.” (5:105) Peace :) Thu, 20 Oct 2011 23:40:05 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/10/20/voices-from-the-classroom-48/#IDComment210274153 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/10/13/voices-from-the-classroom-45/#IDComment207544322 Since I was little, I had always been aware of my skin color and my facial features that categorize me into a certain racial group, and with the things and stereotypes that comes along with it. This is because I am from a multiracial family: my mother is Chinese while my father is Malay- the majority group in Malaysia. Being born in a multiracial family could be a blessing, and also a curse. My older brother inherited physical features from both my parents; he could blend in a Chinese or a Malay group of friends without anyone identifying him as a 'black sheep'. My younger sister only inherited my mother's side, hence she has all the physical features of a Chinese. She almost always will experience someone at the cashier or in a shop talking to her in Mandarin, even though she does not understand the language at all; she would simply smile back in return. There was once that my brother and sister went into a Chinese barber shop together, and the Chinese lady spoke to both of them in Mandarin (or other Chinese languages) and even mistaken them to be a couple. :p I followed my father's physical features almost a 100%; you could say that I am the 'girl' version of him. With that being said, my 'race' is definitely a Malay; so is the race of my siblings despite them having Chinese physical features. Whenever we would go back to my mother's or father's families hometown for holidays, celebrations or even just for a visit, I had always felt different because of my 'race'. Whenever I would go back to my mother's side, everyone there were Chinese, even though they spoke English, Malay (our mother tongue) and Hokkien very very well, and they were all very very warm and friendly people. Even so, I couldn't help but always feel 'left out' sometimes during those family gatherings just because of my physical features. It has been a while since I've gone back to visit them since I am here in Pennstate for studies, but I do hope I will be able to overcome the differences, and focus more on what I actually have; warm and loving relatives. Another different story happens when we visit my father's family side; none of my cousins were in my age range (they were either my brother's age or my younger sister's age) so I am often left out without anyone to play with haha :p but things do get better once we get older. Being a mix, I had always had friends of the three racial groups in Malaysia without much hesitation; Malay, Chinese and Indian. During elementary school, some of my friends of all races and I spoke English more fluently than Malay (surprise!). As I moved up to high school, most of my Malay friends talked more Malay than English; hence the start of my 'social education' in speaking our mother tongue as I also speak English at home with my family. Even though my friends and I have no problem with our differences, the education system back at home certainly separates us by our race. There is a scholarship to further our studies abroad specifically for Malays, which is the scholarship that I am under. The Chinese and Indians do have opportunities to apply for other scholarships, but it is definitely much tougher for them to get one compared to Malays because of the limited quantities and high competition. It is no doubt that Chinese students often get amazing grades and are even more qualified to get a scholarship compared to others, but Malays have that sort of 'White privilege' that Whites have the U.S. There has been protests and disagreement on this inequality; even my friends and I of different races do not agree with the inequality. Despite benefiting from my Malay 'privilege', I would still root for equality of education because I know some of my friends are more qualified for opportunities like these. And besides, if I keep getting great privileges without much of a fight, I will tend to take it for granted and not do my best to achieve what I am capable of. Hence the reason why our Malay stereotypes are people who are lazy, never on time and ignorant. I am absolutely positive that if everyone had an equal amount of opportunity to further our studies and in any matter in that case, we will be working our butt off to fight for those opportunities. In the end, everyone will definitely benefit; Malays will no longer be lazy and will become more productive individuals and will not take opportunities that they have for granted, and that Chinese and Indians will also prosper in our country without facing discrimination. Then only we may be, proud Malaysians. :) "And one of His signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth and the diversity of your tongues and colors; most surely there are signs in this for the learned." Qur'an (30:22) Fri, 14 Oct 2011 19:43:53 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/10/13/voices-from-the-classroom-45/#IDComment207544322 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/10/06/voices-from-the-classroom-36/#IDComment204544363 Women dress in a certain way for various reasons; it could be to gain respect from others, to fit in with their peers or society, to get potential soul mates and attract them, to feel confident and beautiful, to go to a party, an interview, etc etc. Most of the time, all girls will tell you that they dress a certain way simply because they love that dress, they love their shoes and feel beautiful in it, and feel confident. I really do think that this is the main reason why all girls dress the way they do; to feel beautiful and confident. For guys that label girls with short skirts and revealing clothes as either sexy or slutty; most of the time the girls are looking to just feel sexy in those clothes, and not to 'sell' themselves. I am not saying that wearing short skirts is okay if you just want to feel beautiful and sexy, or dressing just the way you want because you want to feel beautiful and sexy is wrong; girls, we must find the right balance between the two. Sometimes we would feel and say that "I feel beautiful in this dress, I don't care if it looks slutty for others." I will give a thumbs up for your confidence in following your heart, but a thumbs down in executing it. You might feel beautiful in that dress, but others will get the completely different, and most of the time the wrong idea. Once again, I STRONGLY encourage everyone to follow your heart and in no means that I am saying that other people's opinion of you is more important than your own heart. Do follow your heart, but start listening to others when almost everyone is saying the same, incorrect thing; you are dressed to feel beautiful and look beautiful, but your guy friends, girl friends and maybe even younger children are telling you that is sends another message to the world. It's just the same with everything else like attitude; be tough and strong to others so that they won't take advantage of you, but start listening when almost everyone is telling you that you are hurting others and arrogant; it means that you are executing your values the wrong way. With that being said, everything needs it's balance. It is not easy to find that right balance in what to wear that makes you feel beautiful and look beautiful to others, but once you find it everything will be worth it. Doing this is not to in any way to please others, but to please yourself and be safe with it; you feel beautiful but you are also sending the wrong message which could endanger your life if the wrong type of guy gets the wrong message. I am a Muslim, and I do wear the hijab or head covering. I can tell you from experience that even though I dress all covered up, I do still feel beautiful, confident and safe :) Just ask any guy on how he acts with a girl fully covered compared to a girl who has a pretty and sexy dress on. You will find that most guys automatically have a certain level of respect for a fully covered girl without even knowing who she is personally. This also applies to girls who dresses modestly even without head covering, compared to a girl who dresses up ready to party all night. There is a difference in the level of respect between the two. I am not implying that all girls who dress all sexy and fun are bad girls, and that girls who cover up has 100% perfection in her attitude, but what I can say is that why dress in a way that can cause harm to yourself, when you know deep down you are a much better, beautiful and intelligent person :) Dress to please the most important factor in your life, and you know who He is :) when you have that intention, you will almost always never go wrong :) "O Children of Adam! Indeed We have sent down to you a garment which covers your shame and provides protection and adornment. But the finest of all is the garment of piety. That is one of the signs of Allah so that they may take heed." (7:27) :) Fri, 7 Oct 2011 22:45:06 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/10/06/voices-from-the-classroom-36/#IDComment204544363 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/09/27/voices-from-the-classroom-22/#IDComment201326758 I think that the majority of us will not be affected on how we 'see' criminals by their race; once criminals are behind bars or are already convicted, most of us usually focus on his or her crime that she or he has committed. What truly bothers me the most is how the legal system is convicting and incarcerating criminals and making arrests that are so racially biased. I always understood that perhaps it is true that blacks are more likely to be involved in trouble due to poverty and they are struggling just to get by. Jobs are hard to get especially in the inner cities. Even if they were looking for a job, the jobs available are either too far away for them to reach (no transportation means), they do not have the necessary skills required (they couldn't afford higher education), or that the employers, both black and white, are racially discriminating them as blacks are known not to be an effective employee. Due to this, it is no wonder why most blacks in the inner cities are most likely to be involved in drug trafficking. However, I have never known that despite whites being the 'winner' numerically of drug users or dealers, the number of arrests of whites are far below the number of arrests of blacks. What more the number of black drug users or dealers are actually far less than whites. This is simply mind-boggling. I have also recently learned about racial profiling from another sociology class; even my classmates had stories that their black friends were pulled over by the police for irrelevant reasons, simply to check on them because they were black. One white guy even said that he was riding with two of his black friends, and when the police came along they pulled him away from his two friends, telling him that it is okay to confess whether his black friends were smoking marihuana or not. They weren't even investigating the white guy! I do admit that whenever I am traveling with my friends and arrived in ghetto areas, we are more suspicious towards black people and try to avoid them as much as possible. Thinking back, we are indeed slightly 'racist' in these terms, simply because of the black stereotypes and we only wanted to avoid trouble. With that being said, I will never ever judge a person that I have never met or have not truly known, despite hearing stereotypes or even gossips about someone. I will always only pass my judgement on a person once I have met him or her and have known them for quite some time. Not everything you hear is true, and not everyone in a certain group or race is always the same. I have met whites, blacks, chinese, indians, malays, and middle easterns who are either hardworking, lazy, sloppy, smart, intelligent, friendly, unapproachable, funny, serious, athletic, nerdy, full of spirit, and many many more; there's a huge variety even within a certain race group! Hence, don't judge a book by it's cover. ;) Fri, 30 Sep 2011 13:53:25 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/09/27/voices-from-the-classroom-22/#IDComment201326758 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/09/20/everyone-respond-to-this/#IDComment197595899 I’ve always heard Sam mentioning about the Haiti Project that he and a bunch of his other friends are working on, but I have never actually get the real details of it. It surely touched my heart that such inspired and committed people of Haiti are trying to bring Haiti back to it’s own two feet through their business they are working on; creating more job opportunities for the people of Haiti, as well as goods to consume or use. Even though they know they have such limited resources to begin with, such challenges did not let the people of Haiti to give up. Sam and the others who are involved in this project to aid these entrepreneurs are definitely people with warm hearts. I really see that these small businesses could truly help a damaged country like Haiti recover from her wounds. Even though some might not think that such small businesses are able to help such a LARGE country with poor resources to recover, what more advance into a more modern and developed country. These people should know that small things do matter and they do make a difference. It is only a matter of time that these businesses will become big, creating more job opportunities for the people of Haiti and providing food, clothes, decorations and many more to the people of Haiti without relying on imported goods which might be more expensive. In the long run, everything will be worth it. Regarding the rice issue that Sam had discussed in class, where the US government subsidizes the local farmers to sell their ‘unwanted’ rice to the Haitians at a lower price, it surely had more negative effects on Haitians that its positives. Even though the people of Haiti do get to buy the cheaper rice from the US than purchasing the local rice, this results in a lower demand in local rice, hence affecting the agriculture industry as a whole! Jobs are lost as local farmers could not produce rice as much as they did before due to the cheaper imported rice from US. This has not only caused the people of Haiti to lose their agriculture and job opportunities in the field, but this has also caused the MONEY of the people of Haiti to go straight to the US, and not to the people of Haiti. The money flowing out of Haiti is damaging Haiti herself, rather than helping the country or the people. In the end, only the US benefits from this ‘relationship’. I am very sure that most of my American classmates hearing this issue are either in disbelieve or even disgusted with what have been going on with Haiti, and even with Africa in that matter. The 3 billion dollars that was supposed to be used to aid the people of Africa, 2.5 billion of it ‘returned’ back to the US itself. Who knows, maybe even the 5 billlion left did not even reach the people of Africa. Hence, I know that not all Americans are responsible for this. But we should not just stand back and say “Even though I did not do it, I apologize for behalf of America.” But rather say “I’m sorry they did that, it is absolutely not right. I WILL FIX THIS.” This corruption does not only apply to America alone, but other places around the world as well, especially if there are people of power with lots of money who misuse them for their own selfish reasons. So here we go, youth of the world. Let’s make this Haiti Project a stepping stone for us to change the world. :) Fri, 23 Sep 2011 19:33:35 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/09/20/everyone-respond-to-this/#IDComment197595899 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/09/15/voices-from-the-classroom-11/#IDComment194183136 Truth be told, I had never actually envisioned myself to be at Pennstate when I was doing my foundation degree back in my home country. During that one and a half year, we were given the opportunity to choose universities that we were interested to apply at, depending on our majors. Only certain universities were available to us, as we were under scholarships. So we could only choose 3 out of the many many different universities to choose from, to actually submit our application for. I had chosen Rochester Institute of Technology, UC Davis and Pennstate. Out of the 3, my housemate and I were aiming for UC Davis as it was one of the best Biotechnology universities available in the US. And it also required us to take an additional examination to even get into the university! SAT 2 was not all that bad, but it wasn't easy either. And the standards that the university was looking for were definitely much higher than our scores. In the end, I was accepted in both RIT and Pennstate. Even though I was not able to get an offer from UC Davis, I was very thankful that I had two other choices to choose from. Only then, that I started to seriously consider Pennstate as the university that I will go to get my degree from, as well as RIT. After a lot of pondering, asking my friends and parents opinions, most of them were encouraging me to go to Pennstate. My parents reason was that Pennstate is not as cold as RIT during the winter (my country does not have four seasons, it's summer all year long XD) while most of my friends told me that they were going to Pennstate because their close friends were going there too. But ultimately, I made my decision to go to Pennstate final was when I seeked guidance and help from Him, and all Praises goes to Him, I received a clear and heart-warming guidance. :) So there I was, accepting Pennstate. And I am now in my senior year. I certainly have no regrets choosing Pennstate, as I know there are so many things that had happened over the past three years that I cherish that I would not have received have I not chosen to go to Pennstate. I was able to travel a lot with my friends, explore a different part of the world, get to know my religion at a much deeper level as well, and make new and great great friends. And yes, my friends and I didn't know that Pennstate was a 'party school' until we got here XD All in all, I am grateful to have chosen Pennstate, and I am grateful to my family, friends and Him for all the love and support, and I am definitely looking forward to graduating in the Spring of 2012. I will surely miss Pennstate, and the US as a whole :) It is true that there are many factors and forces that influenced my decision to choose Pennstate. But in everything that happens to us, regardless of whether we choose it to be in our lives or not, has a blessing in disguise. :) "Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not." (Qur’an 2:216) :) Fri, 16 Sep 2011 18:33:23 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/09/15/voices-from-the-classroom-11/#IDComment194183136 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/09/08/voices-from-the-classroom-6/#IDComment191285278 I am sure that almost everyone who had one glance at Obama would immediately classify him as Black, even though he is actually multiracial. Even so, his race did not change my opinion of him negatively, but rather positively I must say before and after I learned from class that he is multiracial. Everyone was indeed talking about how he is the very first Black president of the USA (even though he is not black 100%). Despite not being an American citizen, I could understand how the locals feel proud of their country as they finally took a step further to go against racism, to finally get past that ugly history of slavery. In addition to that, I managed to get a chance to hear one of Obama's speech on television before the election. Honestly speaking, I find Obama to be a very intelligent man, with so many words of wisdom that he had spoken during that speech of his. His skin color did not leave a negative impression in me, but after listening to his speech, I had double the respect for him for being so courageous to walk into the path that I'm sure he knows will not be an easy one. There was once where Sam asked us vote on what we think Obama's religion is, and Sam got really upset when some of us said he was Muslim, and not Christian. Just because Obama was black, the whole nation questioned his religion even though Obama said that he was Christian. Racism, in America, still strongly exist, even towards the president of America! Sam said that if Obama was white, such a question will never be raised against the president of America. I must admit that I was one of the person who voted and thought that Obama was a Muslim. I did it not because I questioned Obama's religion of him not being a Christian just because Obama was black, but I did it because I did hear rumors that he was a Muslim, and I was actually very happy about this. This is because if Obama was indeed Muslim, he would be the man who will be able to fight Islamophobia, the stereotypes of Muslims being terrorists and Islam being a violent religion after the horrible incident of 9/11. I believed that he was an intelligent and respectable man that could deny all the false news on a religion of peace. It wasn't, as Sam indicated in class, because I saw Obama as a person of color. So after learning that Obama is indeed a Christian from class, my opinions of him did not change much (other than letting go of the hope for him to stand up for Islam). But truth be told, the people of knowledge can tell what is right and what is wrong, and take the right path with courage. Fri, 9 Sep 2011 01:16:36 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/09/08/voices-from-the-classroom-6/#IDComment191285278 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/09/01/how-do-you-feel-about-interracial-dating/#IDComment188852859 I'm sure that everyone would feel blessed and happy if they were in a relationship with a person they fell in love with, regardless of their status, education or skin color. Personally, I think that anyone who really believes that he or she has found their soulmate, even though that person might be of a different race from him or her, should be united. Race is not an obstacle anymore for two people to be happy together in our time. It should have never been an obstacle at all, even in the past. But as we have learned in class, human beings were 'categorized' in order to benefit the 'best' race, which is of the color of their own skin. I certainly support interracial relationships as I am from an interracial family myself; my mother is a Chinese and my father is a Malay. Even though their cultures were not very similar, it did not stop them from falling in love with each other and their different cultures and values might also be an attraction! Opposites do attract sometimes :) Other than that, my siblings and I were very fortunate to be able to experience different cultures, different values which actually share common grounds surprisingly, and I am sure that I enjoyed those experiences very much, and I still do up till today! On the other hand, it is also biologically proven that to marry and have children with a spouse that is not closely related with your bloodline is recommended; everyone knows we could not marry our own brother or sister. Religion plays a big role in it, but Science has proven that by doing so (marrying someone close to your bloodline) will cause the offsprings to face a much bigger risk of being defective or deformed either physically or mentally. Hence, it is better to marry someone from a further bloodline, where the nearest relative that we could marry may be our second cousin. Marrying and having children with a spouse of another race is actually good in producing more productive offsprings! Try to think of a friend or two of yours that is from an interracial family. Most of the time, they are more intellectual individuals! :) I’m not saying that I am of one, but I could certainly say that having the exposure to different cultures and lifestyles throughout my childhood opened my eyes to not judge others solely by their race, cultures or lifestyle. This actually enables children from interracial families to be more mature in a way :) Once again, race is not to be used as an excuse not to unite together and live in harmony. "Oh Mankind! We created you from a male and female, and made you into peoples and tribes so that you might come to know each other. The noblest among you in God's sight is that one of you who best performs his duty. God is All-Knowing, All-Aware." (The Qur'an , 49:13) ..so that you might come to know each other. ;) Fri, 2 Sep 2011 00:38:00 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/09/01/how-do-you-feel-about-interracial-dating/#IDComment188852859 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/19/what-americans-fear/#IDComment144571248 Watching this video, though it may sound funny, made me scared as well despite being a Muslim. Even another friend of mine who is Muslim thought the video was scary. It is definitely understandable of why Americans (or rather EVERYONE) who watches this video or any type of video on any religions, race or gender that portrays them as being violent based on what they have done, would give us a reason to be afraid and fearful. Everyone should be aware that not everything portrayed in the media is the absolute truth. Yes, the events cited by the video might all be based on facts, but you could not judge the other 1 billion people just by the few hundreds that showed what is actually against our own religion as a matter of fact. Do a research on what is given to us on the news and analyze them intelligently. A very good example is to see how women are portrayed in the media. Women are often seen as being weak and passive, while men are always seen in masculine roles in an advertisement. Hence, will you judge that a women is incapable of doing tough jobs, while men are absolutely only masculine in character and could not show any weakness or tears? Of course you don't, and the same goes to all religions and race and gender, not just Islam alone. Do not just accept what is given to us. Sometimes, it is not what they seem to be. I could be criticizing a lot regarding the video; first off, the word jihad does not have a 'goal' of world domination. Go ahead and google it, and you will find that it literally means 'struggle'. The word jihad is not only applicable for war, but it could also be used when you are facing a 'struggle' to prevent yourself from committing sins or hurting others; I could saw that I am in a 'jihad' if I am working very hard to get a good pay to put food on the table. I could also say that I am in a 'jihad' if I am trying my very best to get rid of a bad habit (even like smoking or drinking). Hence, you could quickly evaluate that the person who made the video did not really do much research about jihad or Islam itself rather. It is true that Islam has been involved in many wars as the video has listed. But once again, you could not judge the rest of the people of that religion based on certain events that was committed by usually the extremists. I believe that if you were to search for the war histories of any country at all (wars do happen even without religion in play), you will also find a whole list of bad events. Hence, I do not think it is fair to simply depict to Americans (in this video) that Islam is a violent religion by showing all the bloodshed. Why is it that other religions and other countries who have also fought in a war not being questioned the same way Islam is put into trial? For clarifications, it is true that there are verses in the Qur'an that some might say be 'promoting' war against 'infidels' or so they say. However, if you were to really analyze the Qur'anic verses, it only gave permission for one to go into war if one is in a state of oppression; hence war is actually forbidden for us to pursue unless lives are at stake and that is the very last option that we have. If you were to look back on Prophet Muhammad, he would definitely try to work things out peacefully with anyone at all, before finally residing to battle. As a Muslim, I do feel sad that there are extremists out there willing to kill others (or what they may claim to be 'infidels') in the name of Islam, when what they are doing is against Islam itself. However, I am certain that there is a blessing in disguise. I do not support any act of terrorism, but I am optimistic that even from such bad events, it has opened the eyes of others, opened my own eyes as well. People are curious about who and what Islam is. Is it true that it is a terrorist religion? Is it a violent religion? Oppressing women by asking them to wear the headscarf? Those who have really opened their eyes and hearts will be able to find out what Islam truly is. And unfortunately, there are still others out there who refuse to see beyond what is out in the media. I sincerely would like to thank the commenters of this blog, as when I read your comments and your view of Islam even though you are non-muslims, I am very happy and glad to know that you guys are among those who do not judge others simply from what is portrayed in the media. :) Thank you, may God bless you. :) Wed, 20 Apr 2011 17:25:20 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/19/what-americans-fear/#IDComment144571248 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/24/religion-in-the-future/#IDComment142963633 Reading this article certainly made me devastated of the fact that there are indeed more and more people losing their faith in God, losing their faith in religion. Based on what we have discussed in class, I would completely agree that managing a larger group of people is definitely much more challenging than managing a smaller group of people; this does not only apply to religion, but it could be applied to simply about anything at all. A bigger company with more employees under it faces more challenges to manage their employees compared to a smaller company. The more people present in a certain religious group, the harder it is for the pastor, imam, or head of the religion for that area to be able to reach the people's heart. Most of the people that I know of who is no longer a believer of a 'superior being', or sometimes do not agree with religions that has been presented to them, are actually just people just like you and I. They are the people who are brave enough to question the rules of a religion, to question who is God? And we as human beings, being curious beings as well, have the right to do so. I am also not an exception myself. Being born into a Muslim family, I was raised as a Muslim with the basics knowledge of Islam. I never did question about the religion since everyone was doing it; it was considered a 'norm' back home. However, as I grew older, just like any other teenagers and young adults, we begin to seek answers to our questions, to our curiosity. However, it was not an easy road to travel on, as I was afraid of taking the wrong turn. Coming to the U.S., I could sincerely say that I have found Islam here, more than I did back home where majority of the population were Muslims. So far, I have found nothing but answers to my questions. Even though it is not as simple as getting all the answers I want in a day, but all my questions so far has met the righteous answers. I dare to say that I found Islam here is because when you are out of your waters and travel onto another land, you will be able to see how strong your faith is and to what extent do you believe in yourself, believe in a superior being called God. I am free to not practice my religion, I am free to throw my faith away as it is not the 'norm' over here, and no one is there to prevent you from taking the wrong or right steps. It is all up to you. Hence, I would certainly encourage everyone to keep your hearts and mind open. Do question what you think is not right, and be brave enough to take one step further to find the truth. I am confident that if you have the intention of finding the truth and not simply to find facts to say that 'My religion is right, your religion is wrong!' or 'You will go to hell and I will go to heaven!', you will definitely find the truth with a good heart, God willing :) I truly believe that if someone is telling the truth of something good, there is nothing to hide about the truth, there is nothing to be ashamed of the truth, as it is indeed nothing to be hidden, and should be told to every single person in the world. No one on earth has the right to say that someone is going to hell and heaven, or judge a person just by his or her actions alone. Only He could judge on that day. As the saying goes, 'hate the sin, not the sinner'. I admit, that I do not have much knowledge about other religions such as Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism or any religion. Hence, I do not have the right to criticize other religions and condemn them to hell, as only He knows who will be sent to heaven. Even Muslims, like myself, are not safe from the fires of hell if we commit a lot of sins. He will only judge us humans on the Day of Judgement, so who are we to judge others? However, I am glad to know that the more I question about my religion, the more I find the answers. I hope that everyone out there will do to. :) For me, religion is a part of my life, and it is the food to our souls. I noticed that the more you deny the existence of a superior being, the more unsettling your life would be. It is true that one could still be a good human and do good to others in the world, but they will always be in conflict and feel unsettled whenever God comes into a conversation. I personally feel that if we are indeed right about all religions, why are we always feeling so unsettled about it if we are so sure that God does not exist? I urge you to investigate the religions out there, find people who has knowledge about the religion, people who are willing to share with you their religion and are not afraid to tell you the truth, and conclude your research based on your findings. God willing, you will find the right answer. Fri, 15 Apr 2011 01:01:27 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/24/religion-in-the-future/#IDComment142963633 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/03/what-a-man-is/#IDComment141028829 As I was reading this article, I had second thoughts on whether this was actually a letter of an inmate; it seemed more like those articles that give advices for men to be successful in relationships. Even so, it really touched me that all the points written in this article is true and spot-on, and were actually realized by an inmate when he is doing his time. I completely agree with the inmate; why do people only change when something dramatic happens in their life? Why can't they just admit that they were wrong and change to be better without the need of a dramatic event? Even though the latter seems to be the better option, most of us only do change when something finally happens; usually a traumatic experience. It is difficult to change. No matter what type of change it may be; finally eating your greens or finally managing your anger, it all requires a huge amount of innovation and emotional strength, where we most often lack off. I myself would admit that I still have bad habits that I would like to change, but changing just the very next second is not humanly possible. Even so, I still do believe change is not easy, but possible. It WILL require a lot of emotional strength and support, and it also requires a lot of our effort as well. Truth be told, if we have the intentions to change and try our very best to do so, He will help us along the way. We should never give up on trying to improve ourselves even though sometimes it takes years for us to achieve what we want. We will never know that maybe, on the 99th day of our effort we gave up, when He will actually grant our wish to change on the 100th day. So we should never give up trying, never give up hoping, and have faith in Him :) I could go on and on describing about recognizing what women wants from a man. But I could simply say that men also have fairly similar needs from women; attention, trust and love. However, I would agree with what the inmate has mentioned; regarding what he has learned about what women wants from men, mostly from the video. As we have watched in class, music videos show the wrong idea of women only wanting sex and money from men, and that they enjoy being treated as a sex object within the videos when the reality is the direct opposite. Newspapers, magazines, televisions and films are doing the same exact thing to our society as well. Men are always portrayed to be the stronger and more masculine figure, while women are more feminine, submissive and passive. Now, there are exceptions to these claims where in some films, women are the 'heroes' and saves the day. But you could almost always find both genders more in their traditional roles and gender stereotypes. Once again, it is hard for the media to CHANGE to portray the reality of life unless they would see it to be profitable. Even so, there is still hope that one day all of these would change for the better, with people who are becoming more aware of our surroundings. Changing, will never be easy. The important people around us could sometimes even be the main reason why it is so hard for us to change, as well as the society. Our friends would sometimes critisize us: "He/She is a horrible person!". And when we finally do change, the same people would give discouraging comments: "He/She is just putting up an act. Remember how he/she was before?" I hope that everyone would realize that in this world, we could NEVER satisfy everyone. If you would want to change, do it for yourself, for your loved ones that supports you, and for Him. If you set your goals on changing to satisfy everyone, you will never find yourself be able to change completely, or perhaps if you do change, you will never be happy. Do it for yourself, for your loved ones who supports you, and for Him. As only these people and God will be able to see the change in you :) Learn from the past, do your best in the present, for the better future. Don't judge a person based on his or her past, but judge based on what he or she is doing and has become. Spread the love, as we do not have time to hate :) Fri, 8 Apr 2011 16:00:52 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/03/what-a-man-is/#IDComment141028829 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/09/4092/#IDComment139001878 Reading this article has left me thinking and affirming of how vulnerable we are as humans. Yes indeed, some of the lifers in prison deserve their place to be their for the crime they have committed. However, I truly believe that there are many of the lifers that were just normal people like us, normal teenagers, normal children, normal young adults aged 21 to 22. Just one event that happened in their life had turned in all the way around. They were at the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong people. And such a thing could happen to us too in a blink of an eye. Some of the crimes committed by the lifers were indeed thoroughly planned through, and they DO deserve to serve their time in prison. However, there are also lifers responsible for perhaps simply being in the crime scene by accident, and was convicted of crimes they had never planned to do, nor did they have any intention of doing. It certainly touched my heart when some of the lifers such as 'S' in this article, that I think everyone could see that he or she has gone through a lot; not remembering loved ones, or good memories in a sense. All he or she could remember are the horrible things he had done that left him with a life sentence, 'S' could somehow find forgiveness from God, when no one else is there to forgive. All praises to Him! Everyday, we meet so many different people. Believe it or not, we could actually learn something new from each and every one of them that we meet in our lives. The lifers are no exception. Even though they have committed a very serious crime, but some of the lifers have learned to accept their mistakes, take responsibility upon those crimes and seek refuge in Him for forgiveness. In a way, they have found a way to 'forgive' themselves. This might seem absurd, forgiving yourself for a crime that you have committed that hurt others. However, I think that in order for us to be able to start forgiving others, we should start with ourselves first. We would never be able to forgive others if we could not forgive ourselves first. It is the same with love. We could only truly start loving others if we learn to love ourselves first. Love God, seek forgiveness in Him. Indeed, we are all at the mercy of Him. Fri, 1 Apr 2011 03:21:32 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/09/4092/#IDComment139001878 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/13/whats-the-sociological-message-here/#IDComment137167450 This song is definitely funny, but at the same time, some might think this guy is a horrible husband. Even so, like what Sam has said in class, this guy brilliantly incorporated all the sociology of love. From class, we have learned that we are living our lives heavily influenced by these many many invisible strings; our culture, our religion, our family and our environment. Love is not an exception to these invisible strings. We might think that we are free to choose our life partner, or that when we see a certain someone and we simply know that he or she is 'the one'. However, it is not entirely due to fate that makes our heart beats faster when we see him or her. It is actually the invisible strings tightening upon us, that is making us attracted more to certain people than others. We are more inclined to homogamy; where we are inclined to be married to people who are very similar to us. It is true that opposite attracts, but it is logical to think that more people on average get married to people who share things in common; religion, values and beliefs. Due to this, we will automatically be more attracted to people who we are familiar with, and people who we share common grounds or interests. Take our parents for example, as the people who we grew up with and has a huge influence in our life. More people are inclined to marry the person who shares similar traits with their mother (if they are male) or their father (if they are female). Brothers and sisters would have a higher probability to marry someone that has similar characteristics to their siblings as well. These are all the 'invisible strings' that are at work even when, believe it or not, we 'fall' in love. It is sad to know that the 'invisible strings' could sometimes really influence us heavily without us noticing it. Sam has mentioned in class that even though some children might have abusive fathers or mothers, and they would even swear that they would never marry someone like their parent, the 'invisible strings' would still be at work: these children will be MORE INCLINED and ATTRACTED to people who are indeed abusive! I couldn't believe what he was saying at the beginning, but when Sam asked whether we knew anyone who has abusive boyfriends, and whether that person is still staying with that abusive partner despite being beaten up so many times, people did raise their hands in class. Knowing an abusive person myself, made me sad about this fact. Even so, learning this part of sociology actually strengthens my faith in my religion. Based on this song that says that there are many other women that would be equal or better than the singer's wife, it actually strengthens the validity of this verse of the Qur'an (24:26): "Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision." Homogamy and the invisible strings fits into this verse; we will attract people who are similar to us (good for good, bad for bad), and we are also more inclined to be attracted to people who have the same characteristics as the people who have a huge influence in our bad. It is up to us to be able to pull back these strings, and to be able to recognize which string we should cut off (i.e. the abusive partners). Hence, the verse perfectly brings the message in this song and in the sociology of love; there is not only ONE person in this world that could be our potential life partner. 'If I didn't have you, someone else will surely do.' Thu, 24 Mar 2011 04:53:22 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/13/whats-the-sociological-message-here/#IDComment137167450 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/28/the-lottery-as-a-blessing-or-a-curse/#IDComment135626683 I have always known that gambling was prohibited in my religion. My thoughts on this was just that gambling is not a good way to get money, as easy money will not last long, and it is hard to even win while gambling; you could either win everything or lose everything. Reading the article has certainly reconfirmed the prohibition; there are definitely more negative effects of gambling compared to the positive effects. Even so, it did indeed shock me on how terrible life could be even after winning a large amount of money. Knowing this made me sad for those who are still trying to get good money from gambling. Even the article itself has showed a study where those who had and did not win the lottery still have the same levels of happiness. Doesn't this prove that easy money or gambling does not bring more happiness? Most of the time, as the article has showed, the lottery winners find it hard to cope up with people asking for money instead of helping out and facing the increased risk of being the target to be robbed. Other than that, Sam has also talked about how it is difficult for us to change our social class. He gave a good example in class when a poor couple won the lottery and moved into a big mansion and threw out all the valuable paintings. Winning a large amount of money will not make us 'one of them'. We are still strongly tied to the invisible strings; where the sociological factors that has shaped us into our social class will not be easily discarded. The poor couple who won the lottery is a great example. They have moved into a big mansion, but they could not recognize valuable paintings as they were not sociologically educated to recognize such items. It is a completely different story if someone got a promotion from work, and received an increase in his or her pay. He or she will be able to adjust more to his or her new job and pay, compared to a sudden ‘jump’ to those who had suddenly won 10 million dollars or so. Other than that, these people with new job promotions will be able to adapt more to their increased income; those who won a large sum of money tend to spend the money quickly and unwisely as they did not have any experience in handling or spending a large sum of money. Some might say that they could adapt and grow into their new surroundings and environment. This is true to a certain extent, but when things are completely different, it may not be as easy as it sounds. To our surprise, sometimes what we dreamed of is not as pretty as it thought it would be once we get it. In this case, money from gambling. Thu, 17 Mar 2011 17:07:34 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/28/the-lottery-as-a-blessing-or-a-curse/#IDComment135626683 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/04/the-not-so-invisible-structure-that-shapes-us/#IDComment132523018 It is certainly surprising to find out that only 30% of Americans own a passport. This number might be increasing, but it is still very low compared to other countries. I could certainly agree regarding the parts where the article mentioned that it is hard for us to 'step out' of our comfort zone, of our norm, out of our culture, out of our country. Americans would choose not to travel out of the country as everything that they could possibly think of (from beaches to snow) are just right there in America. So it is certainly not necessary for one to spend extra money to travel into a foreign country simply to enjoy something that is available in the US itself. As Sam has mentioned, these are the not so 'invisible' strings that are affecting the Americans to not travel out of the country. Other than that, I could certainly second the part where the article mentioned about how other countries are portrayed very negatively in the media. This has certainly strengthened the reasons for why an American should NOT travel out to other 'dangerous' countries. Why not just stay there in America to travel safely? Once again, the strings are at work; this is a great example of where we put our fear at the wrong place; fear of something that is not completely true, or not true at all. I am sure that the negative news about a number of countries that we see in the media is not happening 24/7. For most of the time, I have heard that the bad news that happened only lasted for about a day in that country, but is still continuously portrayed in the media here for maybe more than a week; leaving us this thought that the bad event has lasted for over a week when it merely lasted for a day. Coming to the US myself as an international student gives me the benefit of having a different view from the native speakers. Despite hearing about other countries such as Japan and the US of having such great technologies and economic power, my family was not the traveling type. We also seldom traveled within our own small country as well. I am well aware of the factors that did not allow us to travel much, but the claim that other countries have more tendencies to travel compared to the citizens of the US is not all that true. It really does go back to sociology; the factors and forces that greatly influence our lives and how we live it. Despite having a father as a pilot, and a mother as an ex-stewardess, many might think that our family would have traveled all around the world. But it is the direct opposite. Once again, sociology comes into play, even though many might think this is completely unbelievable. I could understand my parents work, where they would travel the world during their work hours, and prefer to spend time with their family, in the comfort of our home, during their time off. It is not really that complicated to understand this. However, society usually views my family in a very different way as they would expect the whole family to have circled the world. I am sure that my family is not what most 'pilot' families would be, but I could certainly understand the reasons behind it, and accept them without hate. Coming back to the article, I am sure that many should be well aware that America does indeed has almost everything in terms of entertainment and traveling. Even so, I hope that many are also aware of other cultures that are out there to be discovered. I have been traveling as much as I can whenever the break arrives. Even though I could certainly say that traveling is something out of the norm for me to do, especially in a foreign country, but I have set my foot out of my comfort zone, and has enjoyed every bit of experience I have gained. How about you? Sat, 5 Mar 2011 02:07:59 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/04/the-not-so-invisible-structure-that-shapes-us/#IDComment132523018