Of course we have the best of inentions when we try to "help" others improve themselves. Pointing out their shortcomings rarely has positive outcomes though. I'm noticing more and more that the things I think others need to work on are actually area where I need work. So, before I begin to criticize or try to help others, I stop and look at my own life and pray for the wisdom to see where my life may fall short in the same regard. I also try to remember that it's not my job to convict others of the sin and unholiness in their lives -- it's the job of the Holy Spirit. When I trust the Spirit to do that work, I find that my relationships are much more peaceful.