Son of a bitch. I'm so sorry you guys are going through this,. Having been through EI from the speech-language end of things, I think you'll feel better once you get the process started, have answers, have ideas, etc. Even if they aren't the answers you want, you'll feel like you have control and a plan.

I'll spare you the "didn't walk until he was four" stories and just say that, since she has made progress without intervention, it's more likely that she has a delay as opposed to a "true disability" or whatever they like to call it now. But that doesn't mean you aren't going to worry, or that she wouldn't benefit from evaluations and intervention.

And again I say, son of a bitch. Why these kids of ours can't just stop worrying the crap out of us is beyond me.

The thing is, it is wrong. Not "call CPS" wrong, but it's a bad choice. You're not an asshole, and you're certainly not a hypocrite, given that you've stopped. I'd be tempted to ask her about it in a "wow, does anyone ever give you crap for smoking around your kids?" conversational sort of way, but I doubt I'd actually do it.

If you don't want her smoking around you and the girls, though, you could always just tell her your history and ask her to hold back when she's around you guys. She'll probably be defensive, but Jesus. It's 2011. My MIL pretends she didn't know secondhand smoke was dangerous when she was raising my husband, but really, there's no excuse for it now.

(And P.S.: you're awesome for quitting and staying quit.)

So glad they came to it on their own. We're following pretty much the same plan, only for us it's due to complete laziness and fear.

I really enjoyed your narration, which was equal parts deadpan and "I'ma go off in about 2 seconds." :)

I agree with the rest that it's really not that bad. But as someone who, in her former life, couldn't go out of the house if a fork were left in the sink, I understand your dispair/disgust/loathing. Just know that we're all in the shit with you, and anyone who isn't has a cleaning person.

Are you sure she's six months? We didn't time warp in there somewhere? Because I can't believe it either!

She is gorgeous. And yay for pediatricians who listen and stuff. :)

I'm pretty sure my sigh of relief just knocked down the mailman.

Yay for healthy melons! :)

I am so, so sorry you have to deal with this.

I really don't know what else to say, or how to help, other than that you are a fantastic parent, and you found this early, and if it's something, it's a treatable something. That doesn't make it any easier, I know.

Good luck today, and make sure to call out for support when you need it.

Argh, I can smell it! It's too real!

That's just awful. And I know what you mean about childbirth vs. the rest of life. I'm whining my way through a goddamned head cold, and yet I gave birth without drugs. I cannot comprehend my sense of scale. At least root canals warrant fear/disgust/weeping.

I hope it's all good teeth news from here on out.

Man, that nap. That is glorious. I don't know if it's god's doing so much as its you just being good at what you do. Give your "infant sleep system" a fancy name and market the shit out of it, sister.

Oh, wow, wow with the crapping. Not that it's TMI, because I don't believe in such a thing, but because, WOW, that sucks, and I'm sorry. Two things that might help:

1. E was a car-seat crier, too. The one thing that helped was to turn the overhead light in the backseat on. Sometimes it would distract him. Otherwise, A will eventually grow out of it. I know that doesn't help, though it might help to know that YES it's distracting, and YES you might occasionally have thoughts of self-immolation, which is normal and okay.

2. A few days ago I cleaned the tub for the first time since E was born (so, first time in about 20 months). We have a guest bathroom, which I clean and where I bathe E, so he's safe from swill, but the shower my husband and I use? Actually slimy.

So, there's a low bar for you. You're welcome. :)