I'm obsessed with you, Brandy.

Its sort of like taking life by the balls and saying "you screwed me hard this time, but next time, we're doing it my way."

Get it, girl.

I am severely disappointed that my commentary was shoved off as "politically charged" and irrelevant. But the personal is, in fact, political. Dusti, you brushed me off as though I just told a silly story. My commentary was not about my cousin. My commentary was calling out your ableism and perpetuation of systems of oppression. This IS a relevant conversation that NEEDS to be had.

I do not think this is the appropriate space to have a discussion about reproductive freedom, as I fear this discussion has veered away from the obvious ableism, for which Dusti has still not apologized.

This was never intended to be a discussion about the freedom of choice. I, as a former Stratejoy blogger, know full well how the Stratejoy community can respond positively to the most political posts as long as they are written with compassion and honest self-reflection. This lacked the warmth, honesty, and vulnerability that is often inherent in Stratejoy's message.
People with disabilities deserve the same choices as the rest of us. Yes, we are legally able to do what we want with our reproductive systems at this point, but children with disabilities don't have the liberty to choose as we do. Their voices are often silenced. The Stratejoy community recognizes their silence and wants to speak out. At what point do you believe we can choose to give up our kids because their disabilities are an inconvenience to us?

Your ableism, Dusti, is what has outraged the community. I, and many others, would appreciate it if you would acknowledge that and learn from it.

"At the end of our lives, we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made or how many great things we have done. We will be judged by ‘I was hungry and you gave me to eat. I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless and you took me in.’ Hungry not only for bread-but hungry for love. Naked not only for clothing-but naked of human dignity and respect. Homeless not only for want of a room of bricks-but homeless because of rejection." Mother Teresa

Thank you.

This isn't just politically incorrect, it's downright offensive.

I think it's really brave to admit to yourself that this isn't going to work. I don't think I could do it because I'm the type to suck it up and spiral into self-loathing. At the risk of sounding trite, I'm proud of your for acknowledging that it's not a good situation for you and taking action to get yourself out of it. Very inspirational. :-)

I am so glad this post is making its way around social media. You are leveraging one hell of a community and I, for one, am grateful that you wrote this. Though it breaks my heart that you've had to put up with so much bullshit and victim blaming, know that millions of women who have been sexually assaulted are proud of you for speaking out.

"It’s not a fear of the loss of identity, but rather the understanding that, for a little while at least, it seems necessary to allow the role of Mother to subsume other aspects of identity in favor of nurturing a new human being."

AMEN, SISTER. I just feel I have so much to say on my own before I want to say it through my children. Having kids might be in our future, it might not be, but I want to bask in my two-person family right now... and there's nothing wrong with that! (So stop asking, nosy neighbors!)

As an old married woman, I'd like to tell you to have patience and trust his decisions even if you think they aren't the best ones. And never say "I told you so" (something I'm still working on). Be completely honest, even if that honesty requires a glass of wine (well, eventually), but don't be hurtful. Brutal honesty is no one's friend. Communicate communicate communicate but take days away from one another when necessary. And when things get hard, don't feel defeated because you're not.

Without my QLC, I probably would be making four or five times what I make right now. But I would have been forty or fifty times unhappier than I am right now. I say that's a fair trade off. No, not just fair-- a NECESSARY trade off.

I tried the freelance thing for a few weeks (with a part-time coffeeshop job) and decided I was too worried about paying the bills to actually go for it. Financial security (albeit small) was far more important to me. At least I knew.