Sam,

Somehow I missed your comment until now. Thanks for your kind words. It was a tough decision but has proven to be a God thing. I actually need to find some time to write and share what I have learned. Thanks again!

I second that emotion - which by the way is something that Jared and I share in common. That song was release before either of us was born. Shortly before I was born and decades before Jared was born! Go vote for him anyhow (up until the time he is face-to-face with me that is, then I'll change my tune).

Sam,

This is an awesome post. I'm right there with you. I think teaching moral lesson is "easier" than discipling kids in being Christ-centered and represents an alarming trend. Fortunately, I see some push back against that approach, but I don't think the push is nearly hard enough. Thanks for starting this discussion. It is definitely one that needs to be had!

Amen! Christ is what unites us. Christ is what makes us one church and one family no matter how we "do church" or what language we speak. Unless he is the center of the discussion, the vision, the mission and all that we do, the barriers will not be overcome.

In terms of volunteers, I think this is another situation which needs to be rectified both in this country and around the world. I understand the lack of time (I really do :)), but we need to develop more resources, more communities, more forums where volunteers will want to participate and network. More importantly, we need to find ways to make it easier for them to get involved and less intimidating. Imagine how much better our children's ministries could be if it were not just the children's pastor networking and learning but everyone at every level of the children's ministry be edified and fed by the children's ministry community.

Thanks for the great article Sam. This is definitely a conversation that needs to be had!

Sam,

Great article. It's interesting to read why other people blog. I think you hit the nail on the head with your list of why. In fact, your article was so good that it made me remember how much I miss blogging and consider jumping back in full boar. I don't think it's time yet, but you have made me anxious to get back to it. Now, I have to go pray about that. :)

Ditto to Sam's comment here Chris. I love your blog, and I am so grateful for how your articles have spoken into my own life!

I'll jump into the debate because the idea that "quality time" is a sufficient replacement for "quantity time" grates at me. I don't believe quality time can be manufactured by a parent to make up for a lack of quantity time. The significant events in a child's life oftentimes don't happen on our schedule as a parent. In order to make sure that we don't miss them, we have to spend lots of time with them. How often have you had a significant life conversation with your child in the middle, or at the end, of what otherwise would be considered just fun time? You can have a great and impactful conversation with your child in the car when you are running around on a Saturday doing chores that never would have happened if you didn't make the intentional choice to spend some quantity time together. Finally, I don't believe that notion that kids will feel free to open up to you and share their lives with you if you only spend 30 minutes a week with them. It takes time to build that kind of relationship. Yes, it does take quality time, but it also take quantity time! That's my two cents!

Sam,

Great post. I would add that I think #4 and #5 can be particularly difficult for Dads. I think many of us are "wired" to want to fix the problem. That's makes listening instead of fixing something that we have to be very intentional about both with our kids and in our marriages. As for #5, I know that in many circumstances (especially where the father is the primary disciplinarian), kids are a lot more comfortable talking to their mothers about "anything" than their fathers. As dads, I think this ability to talk about anything is something that we have to nurture. There was a chapter in the Collaborate book (I can't remember which one right now) about how one Dad set up something akin to a "safe zone" in his house where his daughters knew they could go to talk to him about anything. It paid major dividends as they got older and into their teenage years.

Kudos to your Mom on her first book. I makes sense that you come from a lineage of a great thinkers. That's where you get the ability to come up with all these great articles.

Take care.

For those who didn't know, this is in Michael Chanley's hometown. I'm surprised he wasn't featured in the video!

David,

Thanks for your comment. I wanted to take just a second to respond to a couple of things you said. I hope you will take my reply with the grace and humility with which it is intended. I do not believe that divorce, in and of itself, "dooms you to hell." Yes, divorce is a sin (minus limited circumstance), and yes, the penalty for sin is death. On the other hand, Jesus died on the cross for all of our sins so long as we believe in him and make him the Lord of our life.

As far as your second marriage, I believe in an all powerful and omniscient God who works not only through our obedience but also through our disobedience to accomplish his will. I think that is a Biblical view. I am glad that God worked through your second marriage in what sounds like ways that only he could. That said, I do not believe that God condones divorce or overlooks the sin just because the second marriage is beneficial. I believe that is a sign of his grace, not a sign of permission. That first divorce is just as much sin as if the second marriage had never happened. Again though, we are fortunate that Christ died for that sin along with so many others that we all commit every day. For that reason, I do not believe it is accurate to assume that God wanted you to make the choice to "sacrifice your first marriage." I don't believe his justice and hatred of sin would allow him to want you to make that choice. I do believe that his love and grace has allowed something which was a sin against a holy God to end up being something lovely and beautiful. Remember that God chose to work through you to save your second wife, but he could have chosen to work through anyone to accomplish his will. That is the essence of humility. God works through whom he chooses to accomplish that which he wills to be done. We are just fortunate that he sometimes chooses to work through us.

Many blessing to you my brother. May God continue to bless you and your family!
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