I cried with a friend the other day..... over the break-up of a relationship she was in and a bunch of other stuffed heaped on top of that as she rethinks her life and wonder how she got here to this place of failure?

Just broke my heart, and what makes it worse is I have no words of comfort except to just cry with her.
My recent post Inconvenient

I haven't a clue.

I really hope that there is a lot of grace for me here on this blog. I'm not trying to be argumentative, I'm just trying to figure it out, and I mean no disrespect.

I am one that is envious of your "campus." I had concluded in my mind that there must be something special added in to make it work: the right people, the right location, etc. etc, because I have a difficult time envisioning it here where I live, in the Silicon Valley where we're all busy and rushed and have little time just to eat dinner as a family together, let alone meet with others.

And yet, I crave that, and fear it at the same time.

Really, I want to share life together.

My city is so large that I seldom see anyone while I'm out. (or maybe I just need to get out more!) The times I do I don't feel like I can grab a seat at Starbucks and sit down with them.

There has to be some magic ingredient to your campus. How do you get it to not be a clique? I look on FB and see friends regularly getting together and in some ways, it makes me sad I'm not included, and why I'm not included and all that. Is it just inevitable that some people will feel left out?

Okay, so as I re-read this I realized I sound like I'm whining and the ironic thing is: I regularly go out after church for lunch with another couple and we invite others. Some join us, some don't. I don't feel we're exclusive. It just happens that way. I have a friend who is swimming and running with me (we've yet to bike) as we train for a sprint triathlon.

But I still feel like we all lead very autonomous lives, mostly interacting with a quick hello as we enter or leave church service.

Still, there is a part of me wanting and willing to try to deepen my community. Maybe inviting others to a cheap dinner like you mentioned weekly. (most of my friends have kids, as do I.... are kids in your campus community and how does that play out?) I'm so wary of it. I guess in a way, I'm afraid that if I try and it doesn't happen, what will that mean? It is easier to just blame it on the fast-paced lifestyle of where I live as the reason I feel so disconnected.

Lindsey, looks like you had an amazing vacation! With 3 kids, we hardly go out of state for our vacations, but we're fortunate to live in CA so even going 5 or 7 hours (or less) in any direction can be quite diverse! Happily we're about half an hour from the beach. My husband is on a 2 month sabbatical so we've been doing a lot of local little trips, plus he went backpacking for 5 days with our 10 year old son. (I stayed home with the 2 younger ones)

I'll be praying for your friends and really enjoyed your photos.
My recent post Just Fades Away

Thanks stephanielex! I really do hope you are right.... I think I'd love to someday be able to do an oly distance someday and I do think it'd be great to race for a reason!

It is a strange concept; loneliness in the midst of not being alone. I don't usually consider myself lonely, but often feel a bit alone, like few people really know me or care to know me. (or would like me if they really knew me) But lately I've been realizing that perhaps I belong more than I think I do. And because of that "realization" I'm engaging more, taking more risks and enjoying my relationships a bit more. Simply because I have a sense of belonging.

I think about stuff too much, so there are times when I wonder if I really do belong and it makes the difference, or the perception of belonging alone is changing me, perhaps I still don't quite belong but I'm living like I belong. Regardless, it is a better place to be and I'm enjoying life more because I feel I belong.
I know that there are still folks and areas I don't belong but that once was an ultimate goal, to be liked and belonged by them, and now...... it doesn't (usually) matter.

I have no idea what I'm saying except that I think that there are times when I felt alone but wasn't alone, just had to realize it.

(I know I make no sense)

I love the idea of racing for a reason. My husband races for FCA-E but hasn't raised money, he just wears their triathlon jersey and then "works" in the tent raising awareness and support for their organization, as well as just being a Christian who races. He loves being a part of that, makes his races so much more meaningful.

I'm looking forward to hearing more about this! I'd join your "team" but I'm in Cali and I don't think sprint triathlons count as an "endurance sport!" Still, I'd love to help support your causes.

Thanks! :-)

This will teach me to be impatient!

Thanks for your encouragement; and I know you are right....that most people don't start out doing things well. Truly, that is a hard hurdle for me to get past, but I'm really very excited about this Sprint triathlon! I really do hope that I can do it and so far I'm really enjoying it. (except that I'm really sore)

I hope you are right... that I really can do this! I'll keep you posted and I thank you for your comments, enthusiasm and support!

I really was kidding that I did not like your blog.... sorry if I offended you. (I noticed I'm the only one you skipped commenting on!)

:-)