I am not naive; believe me I have been through more of my share of struggles and am currently in the midst of fighting for my life. I just believe that God has called us to something much higher than this. Are we more afraid of a scandel than we are of missing the real deal?
Thanks for providing this opportunity for me to process and vent.

I know I am way off the primary issue here, but what I am trying to get at is that Joan is dead on. I also hear so much fear. I actually starting feeling panicky as I read through these blogs. Is our trust in Him, His grace, love and power or in our rules and ability to be perfect? I realized in reading this blog that the main reason I do not want to go back to organized church is because we always make it so darn complicated. I am committed to going back to Sunday School 1 on 1-believing that God loves me and that His grace is sufficient. So much of what we do is cultural Christianity and very far from the person of Christ. Just as you said, Jesus wasn't scared to be seen with a prostitute. Perfect love cast out fear. Are we courageous enough to believe this?

I believe that churches/denominations often cater to the areas of our flesh that we rely on or our neurotic issues (i.e. Presbyterian doctrines-lend themselves to those of us who rely on our intellect, Charismatic churches-lend themselves to those who rely more on emotions, etc.). Not knocking any because I have been part of both and learned a lot I do think that those of use who have issues with having to perform to be loved, shame, etc. are often drawn to churches where there are lots of rules, control (often coming under the cloak of "we need a covering.") I thought it was Jesus who covers us, you know like the mother covers her baby chicks.
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Joan,
You read my mind exactly. The above discussion is a big part of the reason I have not attended formal church in several years. I have a ministry background and have been actively involved in church my whole life (44 years) until recently primarily because of the legalism that did anything but nurture a close relationship with God. I found out about the Courageous Church and began reading some of the blogs a few months ago. I was drawn to the church because I have typically been involved with inner-city churches that were considered out of the box, served the least of these, positioned themselves as soldiers in the Lord's army, etc. Just as I have to take a second look at a man I am attracted to (because I often am attracted to relationships that feed my broken flesh), I had to really take a second look at whether or not I wanted to get involved in another "intense" church because it could end up feeding my legalism, need for rules, pattern of having to perform and be perfect, etc. (Not to mention I had a breakdown after going through a trauma that involved church leadership) I believe it was God just telling me to proceed with caution.

Billy,
Are you relying on your intellect or the leading of God. Call me crazy, but I have picked up men, women, children and pets, when I was led by His spirit. I survived to tell about it and could spend hours telling you the ways I have been blessed. What about the time I had prayed all morning for a miracle (I have some serious health opportunities). I felt led to pick up a family walking down Memorial Drive. They had two daughters and one of them kept crying. When I asked about her name, they said it was grace. When I asked about the other child's name, it was miracle. I would have missed my "miracle" if I had thought about all the things this man could have done to me and my van ( I mean God's van).
I think Jesus was accused of taking some pretty "stupid" risks. So glad he did. I was one of them.
I don't think it helps to call someone who has a different opinion from you as nuts-maybe their life experience has been different from yours.