I guess someone made an inappropriate choice of PJ bottoms one day - some could definitely be against a dress code. Overall with most of the PJ bottoms I've seen, I'd say they're acceptable. I would tend to not be in favor of the ones with writing on the bottoms, but I'm not really a fan of those in the first place.

Totally agree with the rest, though. On the whole, PJ bottoms are not at the top of my list of immodest clothing. I wish that could be the case, though.

Beth, wasn't intending to say that you were behaving in a funny way - that was pointing out that the crowd calling for tolerance and inclusion tends to show that in a funny way. Almost every time there's a person with a different opinion, they are shouted down and called names in the name of tolerance and inclusion. It's sadly ironic. The comment really wasn't directed at you. Those same people tend to be the ones who ignore the good that BSA has done and only focus on their membership criteria. No tolerance for the BSA in their speech. It's sad.

I'll try to clarify the celebration of the differences a little as I see it. I'll probably fail. :-/ The way I view it is that girls and boys are made different in some ways (people in general, too, but a whole nother topic). There's nothing wrong with seeing little girls typically doing "girl" things and little boys being little boys. Celebrate the way boys vs. girls relate to each other. Let boys run off their energy instead of forcing them to sit still for hours and hours. Let girls giggle together the way little girls tend to. (And please - I know that not all kids are alike, but there are definitely gender tendencies even if not all kids fit them.) It just seems like there's a large push this way to get little boys to act more like little girls instead of realizing that they are just wired differently in many cases. Schools really fail boys in many ways, especially with excessive periods of sitting still and even in the way subjects are taught in many cases. Girls have been shown to be excellent at math and science (some studies suggest even better than boys), but society as a whole seems to insist on telling them that they aren't. All that to say - realize that boys and girls _do_ have some differences and adjust for those instead of trying to make them all the same. Don't show the differences to divide them but to help them appreciate those natural tendencies in the other gender.

For all-inclusive groups, I seem to remember the YMCA having more inclusive programs that did outdoors activities. I've seen some religious groups as well that do that, but can't recall specific names. As I mentioned, Venture Scouts are co-ed, but for older kids. I seem to recall that Explorer Scouts were similar, but they were replaced with Venturing. I really haven't kept up with them as much as I should because I really don't have a problem with all-girl or all-boy groups. I think that they can be really healthy for kids.

I totally recall the issues you bring up with the GSA having (seemingly) fewer outdoors opportunities. I never understood that then and don't really get it now. I imagine if it was desired, the local units could likely do whatever they want in regards to camping and such, but I don't know. I know that the program we're in has a mixture of troops - some who like to camp and some who think that's a bad word. Our troop likes to camp (one of the reasons we joined).

I tend to agree with this girl's point of view because I disagree with the GSA's decision. I also allow that the GSA can do what they want and I don't have to support them. A boycott is usually called to show a company or organization that you don't like their policies and practices. If someone calls for a boycott, you can join, ignore, or flame. Boycotts have worked to end slavery (not trying to compare the two....) in a more peaceful manner than in the US. Boycotts have shown companies that people don't like their practices, leading to change. Sometimes companies keep going the way they are, regardless of any financial impact. If enough people join this "one girl" because they agree with her, then it's not just one girl saying she doesn't agree with the decision. It is a bunch of people and it would show in dollars. No logical quandary there - the GSA still has the final decision as do the people joining or not joining the boycott. Personally, I don't think the GSA will change whether or not a boycott has a major impact financially.

Well, my first point was that the reaction overwhelmingly to this video was hate speech directed at the girl. If you're all about inclusion and tolerance, those responding in such a manner show it in a funny way.

As for the groups - you're right that when we were younger, there were not a lot of options. If you search around today you can find them. I know there are other options because kids are taking them. I do disagree that the organizations should be forced to change just because a girl or boy wants into a group that doesn't include them. It's not wrong for a group to exist to serve just boys, nor is it wrong for a group to exist to serve just girls. And Beth, you _are_ fundamentally different from a boy. That doesn't mean you can't enjoy the same things - far from it. Don't take it as a point of offense about being different, though. We should celebrate the differences while honoring them. I'm not trying to patronize anyone. I just see this as an area for concern and another reason I didn't have my kid join GSA. You may disagree with me and I respect that.

As for the message - I get it.. I tend to agree with this girl, even if that's offensive to others. You're free to be offended by that - we're not guaranteed a right not to be offended. You say that this one message shouldn't change the GSA, but will you say the same thing about someone saying that the BSA should let anyone join shouldn't override the BSA's policy?

Anyway, I get the feeling we're just going to disagree on this issue. I want to do so peaceably and hope that I'm doing so while respecting your views, even if I don't accept them as the way I should think about this.

First - totally agree that FB and similar sites aren't the cause. (Kind of like FB involved with a lot of divorce cases now - it may make it easier to form that bond, but it's not the cause.)

For our family, we educate about online friends, chats, and so on. Since we have an elementary aged kid, it's a bit easier to handle that. We keep a pretty good eye on online interactions whether through games or chats. We make sure our kid is able to make wise decisions, and when it comes time, we'll work our way up gradually until our kid can be trusted to make wise decisions about online interactions. We'll also keep an eye on their FB page and other interactions as much as possible. At some point, we'll need to let go so we'd rather that she be ready for that time than just dumped in all at once.

I know one of the things we started doing was looking for the trigger points, both for ourselves and for our kid so she can recognize them and stay away from them. I remember some of our training for foster care talking about avoiding escalation - easy to say, but harder to do. They told the story of one mom having one of these types of issues with a kid. The kid went upstairs and the mom followed - which resulted in an escalation. :(

Of course, it all depends on the kid. Sometimes space is essential to let things calm down. Sometimes consequences become necessary, but we always try to leave a way out of at least some consequences. Discipline with no hope of a way to make things better is pointless as there's no reason to change the behavior if things are about as bad as they can get.

I appreciate the tips. I hope we don't have to use these frequently, but they are good for these situations.

Sadly, our kid's school tends to focus more on reading than playing. They're generally great readers, but when the weather turns bad, recess often turns into "video-watching time". That has a huge impact on their ability get rid of excess energy and getting their blood flowing so they think better. The good thing is that they usually get recess time outside, but when they don't there's a lot of sitting around reading or watching videos. At least there are ways to get rid of the extra energy at home with some more active video games (Let's Dance Kids 1 & 2) and with a bike, scooter, and basketball goal outside.

I also see this as hard to change at the school level because there's so much emphasis on how well the school does on the standardized tests. They tend to neglect the physical aspect in favor of the tests, but forget the benefits of physical activity in the process. Sadly, they also have a tendency to spend more time watching videos than what seems appropriate.

I'm going to have to disagree on this one, respectfully I hope. Boys are boys. Girls are girls. Having a group that is dedicated to working with one or the other is not a bad thing. There are actual fundamental differences in the way males and females think and are made physically. For older kids, the BSA offers Venturing, which is a co-ed group. Prior to that they offer programs for boys only. There are plenty of other groups out there that are co-ed and offer a similar experience for kids. That's the great thing about choice - people can go to one of them instead of trying to force the BSA to change to allow them to join.

As for the GSA, their national values just don't line up with ours. We chose to join another organization that fits our values better and do our best not to "trash talk" the GSA because they don't fit us. They are who they are and are free to do what they do. I'm free not to have my kid part of the organization because of that and let them be.

Anyway, we'll disagree on this one. I completely understand that there are a lot of people supporting the GSA because of this, but I'd hope you can see that not everyone who disagrees is close-minded, bigoted, or anti-kid. We disagree for a wide variety of reasons. This girl in the video sees a boy as a boy, even if he thinks he's a girl. Personally, I think it's sad that the attention is focused on how she's wrong or hateful or .... She raises a valid concern that I think merits a reasonable discussion instead of name-calling and hate-speech directed towards her. If you disagree with her, say so and act accordingly, but drop the name calling, calls for her to be targeted in some way, and so on. (And noting that you are not doing those things, but there are quite a few others who are.)

We teach through example, patience, and sometimes a "you're done" or time out. We concentrated mostly on chewing with your mouth closed, not talking with food in the mouth, proper use of utensils, not interrupting, and asking to be excused (as opposed to dancing around the table). Elbows haven't been a huge deal if done discretely and not as some sort of "blocking" maneuver. It definitely starts with an example, though. If the parents want a behavior but aren't modeling it, good luck getting the kids to do what you say rather than what you model. The please, thank you, etc we just took for granted. It's part of life in general, not just the table.

My wife reacted in a similar manner. I just told her that it's okay - they can always just rewrite the show into the timeline like it had never left. I remember my mom recording her soaps so she could watch them after work and me going elsewhere to play a video game, read, or otherwise not have to watch. :-) I'm sure my mom felt kind of like you do - same characters always there as a small source of comfort.

Totally agree with the time limits - some sort of time bank or a regular timer that says it's now time for an active activity. (We'd never get our kid to stop reading books so that's not an option.) Of course, getting outdoors time isn't normally a problem except for this past summer. Over 100 every day for 60+ days - pools felt like baths and it was generally miserable.
We allowed games like "Just Dance Kids" for some action, mixed in with more sedate games. That does work pretty well for activity. Those kids work up a pretty good sweat bopping to the songs.