that's not very nice, matt...

bodybyfag -

I appreciate your heartfelt sentiments regarding this issue, but...we do want to give everyone room for their opinion, even though i feel similarly as you do.
thank you <3

sissy - keep it fair, please, we don't know if this is Jimme Jamma or not, k?
thank you <3

thank you for your input, mr charming!

hi K,

I want to clarify my use of language in regards to the security staff. Seriously, they were nice, and I am glad that they were there in case there had been more trouble. I was more referring to the small pig-pen/zoo area that we were in with the rope when I said "zookeeper". I do respect them and I do respect what they do. I'm sure that designating the area had more to do with the OLCC than it had with the security people working the event. I'm saddened by the need to have them there, yes. I'm saddened for any need for security at an otherwise freespirited event. I'm sad the world is that way. That had nothing to do with them as individuals. I feel like we are being treated like children...but more so I feel like we are being treated as the ones who started this mess, when it never was. Yeah. No, I don't feel like I'm reacting like a child. I'm not kicking and screaming, I'm trying to have a discussion, I'm trying to have a public thought process.

Regarding your statements re: working next to/with straight people: No, of course I don't feel like I want to live in that kind of bubble. Of course not. I'm not even saying "You should have had queer safety people". I'm just saying it made me wake up and realize that things had changed when I got "ma'am'd at the door. It felt different and it felt off and weird and not queer and it caught me off guard and it made me worry about trans-identified people being mis-labelled at the door. That's all.

Regarding your comments about the police: Of course I am glad there is a police. Of course I am glad they came to the scene. I am, truly. I was a victim of a severe gay bashing several years ago where me and two females and a very fey gayboy were beaten to a pulp by five enormous guys. This is not the first time I have been in this kind of situation and had these kinds of conversations.
But I was also there, K, I was there and I saw the officer shout through his megaphone at people standing five feet away, and I saw him laugh when he finally decided to go upstairs.
I think it's OK to be grateful for good policework while critical of policework that didn't meet my expectations (and seemingly, many other people's expectations).

And I have to say I didn't see "queers reacting to violent harassment in a way which promotes more harassment and violence, receiving violence". I saw a bunch of gaymos celebrating pride and being in a situation they didn't expect to be in after a long day of partying, I saw police that was frazzled and acted in way that was not as good as it could have been, I saw people who were drunk and became victims and now their reliability/memory is being questioned, I see security staff outside that are trying to be helpful but that have missing information, I see events that I loved just the way they were being forced to change, I see a SMRT that wants to do something but not too much, I see lip service every where, I see my own statements being mis-represented, I see victim blaming, I see people who want to cooperate, people who want to break away, I see possibly different standards being applied by the OLCC, I see people standing up for what they believe in, and I see me and my own imperfections and my inabilties to communicate.

In the end, K, I agree with you and your almost last statement..."I believe our queer presence is vital. Our queer presence is necessary for our survival and cultural evolution. Places like Blow Pony remind us that to come together is a CELEBRATION of one another, a celebration of our "otherness"."

That otherness, that vitality, that celebration is WHY I go to Blo Po, WHY i write this blog, WHY i sit here and think and think and type and type when I could be sitting in the sun, because this shit is worth debating for, getting in trouble for, even beaten up for. I wouldn't change a thing I've done or said...I hope that through this process we come into greater power and unity and get to a better place than we were before.

Hi kevin,

As I stated above, I didn't take offense. I merely stated that it may be hurtful to someone who is trans-identified to be labelled their birth sex when they ID differently, and that there is a reason why many queer/trans people and clubs and nights and whatever create gender-free spaces and use gender-free language so everyone feels comfortable.

I hear a lot of frustration in what you're saying and I'm not sure where it's coming from - if you can maybe explain what upsets you so then maybe we can have a conversation on how to resolve this issue.

to the original commenteryou totally got what i was trying to say. thank you.

hi kevin,

I never said that the security staff saying "ma'am" was rude. Let's look really closely at what I wrote:

"The security staff were polite, so much so that I was “ma’am”‘d twice on the way in, and for some reason this really made me think about where we are at and in which direction our community space is going."

I specifically stated that the security staff were polite. I also stated that the usage of the word "ma'am" made me thoughtful, not angry.

Later on, I write:
"I can handle being called “Ma’am” and I appreciate the sentiment, but if you are someone who is mid-transition or simply does not pass well, being labelled your birth sex as opposed to your gender by someone at the door to a queer/trans event could possibly put a damper on your night, many of us present differently than our ID’s show."

Here I'm specifically saying that being called "Ma'am" doesn't bother me too much, and that I *appreciate" the sentiment, meaning: I'm grateful for their politeness.
What I'm pointing out is something that goes along with the following scenario:
FTM club patron who identifies as a man shows up at door. Security guard says "Can I see your ID, Ma'am?" and therefore puts the clubgoer in a box they don't want to be in. Immediately, you're in a situation where you're being mis-labelled.

All I'm saying is that this could be hurtful to someone who is trans-identified. If you're name is Kevin and you're a gay man, and I keep calling you Jim and telling everyone you're straight, at some point you might get hurt or annoyed. It's the same principle.

The "ma'am"ing made me realize that straight people were doing security at queer events, that's all. I never said they were rude. Later on, I wrote:
"They were polite and unproblematic, and everyone needs to eat. "

I don't think people will start "lightening up" until people acknowledge that things that seem totally normal to you may be hurtful when coming from a different person or situation, that's all. I don't think the security staff were trying to be insulting at all. I merely made me thoughtful that we are being "secured" by people who don't know much about how to deal with queer and trans identities, that's all.

Ok, i finally get a chance to leave some responses to your comments, yay! it's exciting. PDXclubguy - I have to admit your comments made very feel very thoughtful, and I'm going to try and address them one by one.

You said:
"There is drama at this event quite often. Most of the time it is internal. Often times the organizers get right up in the middle of it. None of these things that have happened are very surprising to a lot of people I know who have quit attending this event. If everyone acts like adults, these things do not become necessary. At Gaycation, etc. the crowds are calm with no problems. That is why they are not required to have security. The OLCC does not care whose fault it is when there are problems. They only recognize problem venues."

I have to disagree. I attend BP every month and have done so for over a year, and this is the first time that I have seen anything go down that vaguely resembles "trouble". It gets packed, yes, people are drinking, yes, but I haven't seen any trouble. I have seen hissy fits, push-comes-to-shove, tempers flaring up, and almost fights breaking out and almost every other regular event I attend (I can be found at Lube Job, Crush, Holocene, and other places on a regular basis). If, what you say is true, and Casey's/BP is a problem venue or problem night, then it was the case long before the pride events this year, in which case the OLCC should have done something about it sooner. but they didn't. Nobody seems to have seen the venue or the night as a "problem" before the events unfolded that did. And I agree with Airick when he says that Holocene is in a very different location with a very different surroundings - there isn't much nearby apart from a strip club, there are no upstairs neighbours, it's on the east side, it wasn't next to the world naked bike ride. All these facts contribute to why it became the powder keg that it was, in my opinion.

You wrote:
The dumping of liquids on Blow Pony patrons was ridiculous and the VENUE should have taken care of the problem before Blow Pony guests felt agitated and attacked by it. No one was looking out for these people who were essentially being assaulted. I've dealt with the owners of Holocene quite a bit. They do not allow the situations like these to get out of control. They recognize their responsibilities to control explosive situations so that they do not get out of control. That is why this has happened with the security at Blow Pony. There was no de-escalation whatsoever attempted during the unfortunate Pride events.

Yes the dumping of liquids, bottles, etc was ridiculous. It was a lot more than that, IMHO, but yes, it was ridiculous. I agree with you here. But where I don't agree is the part where you say that it's Blo po's responsibility ALONE to deal with this situation. Put yourself in the position of the organizers - what are you going to do, what can you do, apart from trying to stop the upstairs tenants by speaking to them and asking them to stop? They are breaking the law by hurling stuff at people (it's assault), and when the law is broken, the police becomes principally responsible for dealing with the issue, which didn't happen to the satisfaction of the organizers and the attendees. I was standing outside the venue at the time, and I *did* witness Blo Po staff try and talk to the people outside and get the situation calmed down (-> de-escalation).

You wrote:
It seems like you are trying to find victims in this story, or maybe people are trying to portray themselves as victims. Some people definitely were. But I do not think the OLCC, which overreacts quite often, is off base here. The crowd needs to feel safe or vigilante justice and fighting rule. That does not equal discrimination. If this stuff happened at Gaycation or any other night, the OLCC would be all over that venue also.

I'm not trying to find victims in this story - the victims are here. A girl got her nose broken. An organizer got punched in the face. Many of us were insulted in homophobic terms. A girl had a cup of pee dumped on her head. And this is just some of the more major stuff. I don't feel like I'm digging for anything here - I'm just skimming off the surface. I don't know if the OLCC is off base or not. All I do is observe what I see and draw my conclusions to start this discussion that is happening right here - and we can agree or disagree. I don't know if the same rules would apply to a venue like crush, or smaller club/bar. What I do strongly feel is that the OLCC heard about the trouble and decided to impose this rule, hoping that by shifting the responsibility (and cost) to the event organizers the trouble would stop (which it did, last time) and we would all go away and this situation would fizzle out. Blaming the attendees for a situation that has been exacerbated wholly by the neighbours and not the attendees (how do you provoke being pelted by bottles and called homophobic slurs from neighbours above you? What kind of behaviour deserves that as a response? You don't, and none) sounds like victim blaming to me, sadly.

Good point. Thank you for your insight (and the compliment).