Very few men in long term relationships like or use condoms, and most women don't like them either. Condoms have distinct negative connotations -- as if its a one night stand. At some point in any relationships, condoms will fall by the wayside. Diaphrams are very effective if used correctly, and good for men who want a visible form of birth control (you can put it in). Of course you both have to know that both you and your partner do not have any diseases.

I have seen too many men get vasectomies. This is a really bad idea because these guys often end up Playboys because they know they are shooting blanks.

Having said all this -- beyond the obvious moral issues (which most folks don't care about), I must point out that waiting until marriage is by far the most reliable form of birth control. It also has other effects: you won't be marrying a hussy -- loose gals won't wait around for marriage -- your chances of marrying a decent gal increase substantially. People who get into "delayed gratification" do far better than those who shack up and live-in.

The main point: Morals are usually not warrantless taboos (as some assert). They are there for very good reasons beyond the obvious religious directives. Those who are unwilling to subscribe to morals at face value only send themselves headlong into a sea of trouble. These are the same folks who go bananas when things blow up in their face.

There you go again, Denise.

All,

Denise likes to play word games that inure to the benefit of feminist theory. Noe ignores our point: "Getting herself pregnant" has to do with the womans intentions when she does have sex. Noe is playing an immaculate conception game with us.

The fact is this: To get pregnant, all a woman has to do is "be there", not take her birth control pill (while saying she did), and then have sex with a fertile male. This is what women who intend to get pregnant outside marriage do. That is their intent, and it occurs today in record numbers.

In contrast: I have never met an average normal man who intentionally impregnated a woman out of wedlock (Note: ultra-rich Hollywood stars and similar mistress-keepers who can afford the intentional lifestyle of having "status babies" are excluded).

All the normal men I have met were tricked into. If there are any average men out there who knew that birth control was not being used and intended to have a child out of wedlock, please let us know.

Your point was intended to create the illusion that women do not intentionally get themselves pregnant out of wedlock. That is the point I responded to and the point you are now attempting pretend you did not make. Denise, you constantly change the subject and attempt to be a moving target. That game does not work with me.

All: note how feminist activists insist on selling us completely unsupportable old wives tales intended to make feminism appear a valid victim rights movement. There is plenty of proof that women of all ages have children out of wedlock intentionally. Feminists actually organize this activity.

Here are a few cites proving Noe is lying. Noe is an experienced activist. She cannot claim she does not know that she is misrepresenting the truth.

Single women who are moms by choice
Octo-Mom: "I Was Lying To Myself"

Teenage mothers see pregnancy as a 'career move'
Single, pregnant and panicked
Survey of girls: Unprotected sex common among teens
Hispanic Family Values?

All: Everyone should know there is nothing wrong with recording your personal interactions when there is a chance of something happening worth documenting. You know her signs and know when she's about to go off. Just keep it in your pocket and turn it on when things start getting funky.

However, recording someone else's entire life is a ridiculous and probably illegal proposition driven by unhealthy or paranoic motives. Do not do this to yourself. Go through your fear -- do not allow yourself to be run by it.

The key here is balance. Do not be afraid to document what goes on when needed and when it is legal. It is a very freeing feeling not to live in constant terror of being falsely accused.

Here is the straight-up answer:

Recording your entire marriage secretly is probably very illegal and is also paranoic. Get a pen cam, use it if things look like they will get out of hand, and get some counseling with a toughlove codependency counselor. You have a serious codependency problem and it will end your marriage if you fail to change your game. It won't easy to change your game, but its far better than the consequences you will face. When you start letting go of the games, she will become uncomfortable -- that is the time to bring her into counseling.

She needs counseling too because she picked you. You were attracted to each other because your unhealthy emotional gears and games matched. This must be changed, and can be changed. You two have an unhealthy relationship that needs a lot of individual and mutual work. If you take the lead, and then show her the way to a good marriage in a loving and responsible manner, she will likely follow.

You might as well heal thyself in this marriage. Changing spouses does not change your game, and you will just pick another sick chick and do it all again.

I suggest you pick up a copy of "Powerplays", by Brenda Schaeffer. It is the best tool I have seen to quickly see your role in the unhealthy relationship. You need the other three leaflets of this set: "Signs of Addictive Love", "Signs of Healthy Love", and "Love Addiction, Help Yourself Out". The pamphlets are out of print but available used on Ebay and Amazon.

If you think she is cheating or abusing the kids, hire a private investigator and get on with living. They know the limits and can do a lot of things that you cannot.

I can tell you from personal experience that misery is an optional illness. When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, you will become fully ready to change your life for the better. I guarantee this works, or your misery will be gladly refunded.

The sheeple misses the point and does not speak for "we". There are good women out there and I have been remarried to one of them for nearly 20 years. Obviously, you don't know what to look for in a real woman. You have much to learn, my friend. I have an article titled "how to find a good wife" ( http://www.newswithviews.com/Usher/david75.htm ), if you care to learn something. Its so easy to play the victim, and the results are so painful. When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, you now know where to start changing your life.

Note: the above comment is what feminists do: ridicule or call the opposition hateful names. In this case, since marriage values provides no handles to call one "hateful", and where there are no facts suggesting I am incorrect, there is nothing left but ridicule.