I also run http://www.dad.info - we distribute half a million information cards to new dads via midwives in the NHS every year, and Dad Info has some really good information for new dads. You might find some of the content useful.

What a palavar commenting here - was it something to do with me posting links int the comments? It's taken me three quarters of an hour! Erk! Should be with my kid :)

You could make a pledge such as "I'm going to be less selfish", if thats what you think is going to help you become a better dad. Then ask a question to the community... along the lines you have done here. When you make progress on a pledge, you can 'pip' it, and Odadeo will track your progress on the DADSDAQ. We'd love to get your thoughts and feedback on the site too (I'm the community manager there).

Having to divide my comment into pieces - this is silly.

I know you're a web apps kinda guy, so I'd like you point you to http://odadeo.com and ask you to join up and have a look around. You're lucky in that you have a popular blog, can ask questions and get a lot of responses, but most dads don't. So Odadeo is a new (UK based) startup designed to provide dads with just that kind of platform. It starts with the question: "How am I going to be a great dad?"

Tried again. Failed. Maybe it was too long (why no indication of this then?) As my previous moany comment got through, I'll divide my comment into two and then try again.

Researchers into fatherhood look at three elements to a child's experience of their father that are all valuable, and it's worth looking at all of these.

1. Engagement - this is when you are really focussed on your child - undisracted, having quality time. It's definitely the most valuable element of fathering for children, and they get the most benefit from this in terms of cognitive, social and learning development. But engagement is in turn dependent on other factors that you need to pay attention to - it doesn't just happen. There's other things...

2. Availabillity - just being around is important - even if you are working on your laptop, or cooking something, you are available to your child if they want you, and you need to be available for enagement to happen. Try working from home a bit more - it's invaluable for children to see their dads working, to make a connection with what we actually do with our lives.

3. Responsibility - do you take responsibility for your child's health, education and social life, do you share it or do you delegate this all to his mum? Having some involvement at this level is really important for your connection to your child, and means you will have more of an understanding of their lives at a quite fundamental level.

This comment system sucks.
I've written a long and considered response to this post, had to sign up for Intense Debate and then it didn't appear. I rewrote it, sent it and it failed again. Then again (I'd copied the text). And it failed again. I'm frustrated and annoyed.