IntenseDebate Notification <DIV>I'm sorry, butI try to protect the people on my site. :) While transparency is important to me, so is respect. However, feel free to drop me an email at stephenrburns@gmail.com, and if you're a "friend" or know someone on this site, I'd be happy to chat with you.</DIV> <DIV></DIV> <DIV>Blessings</DIV> <DIV></DIV> <DIV>Steve</DIV> <DIV></DIV> <DIV>Stephen R. Burns, B. Th.
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Okay. That's true. In the end, it only serves as a replacement for real life and real romance. I agree with you about that, much as I have mixed feelings about Valentine's Day. I'm not a huge fan, because it promotes exactly that -- it seems patriarchal and misogynistic, as if we're throwing women a bone. IN traditional marriages, it forces men to 'be romantic' for one day, but it seems to cover the real issue, which is a lack of expressed love the rest of the year, which is perhaps why so many women are encouraged towards the feelings produced by these stories. It is insipid and sad and should push us towards intimacy year round, I think.

Being a workaholic or being proud and arrogant are probably worse. How about spousal abuse. It is rampant within the church and no one ever writes about it. It is, by any measure, a far greater evil, as it is often supplemented by complimentarianism, and so our reaction is "meh". __What worries me is that the culture is driving our discussion and Bible topics. Sex is not insignificant, but it isn't THAT important. Neither is romance. A little more balance would go a long way towards balanced conversations that might bring more romance into people's lives.

steve (www.stephenburns.ca)

Here's why.__More destructive than pornography and 'emot-porn', if you want to call it that, is the extreme reaction by the church. I was told, and then passed on to my young people as a youth pastor, that sex before marriage was a great evil and would affect them for eternity. Yeah, well, that's not comepletely true. We are told that pornography is damaging and sinful and will stifle your sexual life with your spouse and your relationship with God. Yeah, that's sort of true, but it isn't the complete truth, is it? We all have stuff we deal with. The Bible is more concerned about pride than anything sexual. But sex sells and so the church sells it, whether its pro-sex or anti-sex, it still sells. Somehow in the church we need a little more balance in our views, and a little more honesty. Is porn damaging? Of course. Is it life threatening? Not really.

Hi Cole,__Found your website after reading one of your articles on the Relevant site. A couple of things. I agree with you about the imbalance. Let's be honest. A man can't talk about pornography in church. Plain and simple. And women have groups for eating disorders while talking about their romance novels. Both are true. However, I think the grasping towards the 'ideal romance' is as much about what we are lacking in our own lives as what culture sells. I have too many female friends whose boyfriends and husbands are frankly, uninterested. That they want a few hours with a romance novel is not surprising, and something I don't discourage.__